


Shards & Scars

by ParadiseAvenger



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-05-16 19:49:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 59,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19324915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParadiseAvenger/pseuds/ParadiseAvenger
Summary: Kairi dismissed the bandage as easily as Sora had. Accidents happened. There was no reason to doubt Sora. However, he wore the bandage in the same place the next day and the day after that and the day after that. He wore the bandage much longer than a simple cut would have needed to heal. In a full week, he never took the bandage off.





	1. The Beach

So, this started as something I was going to put in the Lemon Island series... Then it exploded.

X X X

After the cold halls and open airways of the World That Never Was, Sora had missed the heat of Destiny Island almost as much as he had missed Kairi and Riku. It felt like forever since he had last been warm. Calling farewell to his fussing mother, he stepped out of his air-conditioned childhood home and into the buttery sunlight. The air was steaming, humid and melting hot in the golden afternoon rays. To anyone else, it would have been too much, but Sora tipped his face into the sun with pleasure. He stretched his arms lazily behind his head and walked to the beach where the promise of a 'Welcome Home' party was waiting.

Absently, he scratched the bumps on the back of his shoulder, caught himself, and dragged his hand away. His boots echoed hollowly on the sandy sidewalk as he headed towards the beach. Once he reached the boardwalk and inhaled the crisp salt of the sea, he toed off his shoes and carried them at his side. In the distance, down near the surf, he could see Riku was already there. Delighted, Sora took off running as fast as the soft sand would allow. He skidded to a halt a few feet away from Riku in a fantastic spray of sand, grinning.

Riku was not amused by Sora’s antics or the burgeoning heat. “You're excited, I see,” he said as he brushed off his legs disapprovingly.

Sora tossed his shoes aside. “Of course,” he chirped. “It feels like years since I've been back here.”

Riku's bright jade eyes flit over Sora, torn between an inquiry and a statement. He looked about to remark that it had been years, to ask if Sora remembered how much time he had lost, but swallowed the words. Sadness touched Riku’s mouth, self-loathing pinched the corners of his eyes, and guilt turned down the edges of his expression.

Sora felt the time—the time while Destiny Island had been devoured, the time he had restored it, the time he had spent in his sleeping prison, the time he spent trying to bring Riku home, the time he spent rescuing Kairi—all of it stretched and spiraled. It was a void inside Sora's chest, bits and pieces that he could never reclaim. Sora smiled before Riku could apologize—again, for his part in the destruction and loss—and changed the subject.

“What's with this?” Sora asked instead, nudging the crooked pole that jutted out of the sand.

Riku righted it and fastened on the net. “What's it look like?”

“It looks like you want to get trounced by me in beach volleyball,” Sora retorted.

Riku snorted. “You? Beat me?”

Sora flexed his muscles, lifting the sleeve of his t-shirt to show off his bicep. He had always been slender, but all the time he spent fighting had made him lean and strong. Riku was taller though. He was broader in the chest and shoulders, probably stronger if they were to arm wrestle, but strength wasn't everything in volleyball. Sometimes, speed was all one needed and Sora was willing to bet that he was faster now. The last time they had competed was...

“Whatever happened to the old volleyball net?” Sora asked.

“I threw it away,” Riku said. “Tidus blasted a big hole in the middle of it, remember?”

Sora made a little sound in his chest. “Ah, right.”

Riku hefted the second post and Sora grabbed the first to keep it steady. Together, they dug the supports for the net into the deep sand until they were straight. Riku untangled a few knots and they stepped back to admire their handiwork. The net was brand-new, purchased with spoils from the war treasury that they had accumulated in their travels, and looked fabulous.

“Soooooora!” came Kairi's voice, bouncing against the sound of the surf. “Rikuuuuuu!”

Together, they turned to face Kairi and found that she was laden with bags. Sora scrambled through the sand and grasped several from her. Riku followed at a more sedate pace and took what was left. Kairi prevented Riku from carrying her beach umbrella and slung it over her shoulder.

“Thanks guys,” Kairi said breathlessly.

“What's all this?” Sora asked cheerfully, peeking into the large picnic hamper.

“Party supplies,” Kairi said with a grin. “I got all your favorites.”

Sora beamed and started to rummage through the basket to see what she had brought.

Kairi swatted him. “Don’t be greedy. Wait for everyone else to get here.”

Sora settled the food down beside his discarded shoes. Kairi and Riku spread out a blanket and Kairi stabbed her umbrella deep into the sand. After opening it, she plopped down underneath the shade with a huff. “God, this heat is something else,” she muttered.

Riku sifted through the backpack that he had brought and produced a cold bottle of water. He took a sip, remarking, “Yeah. It’s been record-breaking highs lately.” Without screwing the cap back on, he handed the bottle to Sora.

Gratefully, Sora took a drink.

“Tidus and Wakka are bringing the drinks,” Kairi said, waving off the bottle when Sora offered it to her in turn. “Selphie made the cake.”

“Cake?” Sora said eagerly.

At the same moment, Riku perked up. “Drinks?”

“I told them not to get beer, but they probably didn’t listen,” Kairi said. She dragged a bottle of sunscreen out of her bag and shook it. The sound of lotion sloshed inside and she dumped some into her hands, slathering up her arms and shoulders. “I know Selphie’s going to bring something fruity and way too sweet.”

Sora handed the water back to Riku, trying not to watch as Kairi rubbed sunscreen into her chest over the neck of her sundress. She had grown up a lot in the time he had been away and she had always been lovely, had always drawn his eye, had driven him to compete against Riku for her attention. Sora swallowed and looked away when Kairi glanced at him.

“Yo!” came Wakka’s voice up the beach.

Tidus shouted. “How about a little help from our heroes?”

Sora turned to see them laboring under the weight of a huge cooler and smaller case of beer respectively. Riku took off at a jog, spurred through the heat by the promise of cold liquor. Sora took off after him, bare feet gaining purchase in the sand. He was pleased to see that he caught up to Riku easily. His long-time friend looked surprised to find Sora suddenly nipping his heels and grinned at the prospect of future races. Sora quickly took one side of the cooler with Wakka while Riku grasped the second handle of the box with Tidus. Together, they dragged the drinks into the shade of Kairi’s umbrella.

“I told you guys not to buy beer,” Kairi scolded half-heartedly. “None of us are old enough to drink.”

“It’s just beer,” Tidus said dismissively.

“Besides, it’s criminal not to have a cold beer when it’s this hot out,” Riku agreed. He busily set about opening the cardboard case, cracked a can for Sora, and then one for himself. He took a long drink and sighed in pleasure, rolling the chilled can along his cheeks and forehead. “That hits the spot.”

Tidus and Wakka clamored, opening cans for themselves.

Kairi waved them off, but couldn’t hide her smile especially when Sora took a sip and tried to hide his sputter at the taste.

Selphie arrived a few minutes later, carrying a large cake on a tray in her arms and a heavy satchel at her side. Surprisingly, she didn’t call out and Sora didn’t see her until she was almost on top of them. He scrambled to his feet and hastened to take the heavy cake from her.

“Thanks,” Selphie said with a pant. “I was so worried about dropping it. I worked really hard on it.”

Sora looked down at the elaborate frosting depicting the play island and couldn’t help but smile at the sentiment. “Thanks, Selphie.”

She rose on her tiptoes and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “It’s great to have you home. I missed you guys,” she said.

Sora flushed, tightening his grip on the cake tray.

Selphie hugged Riku in greeting and tossed her satchel at Tidus forcefully enough that he squawked. Then, she dropped down on the blanket beside Kairi. “Is there just beer?”

“You didn’t bring something?” Kairi asked.

“You told me not to,” Selphie snorted and popped a can for herself.

Kairi tried not to look put out. She didn’t really like beer and had been looking forward to the Schnapps Selphie usually stole from her parents.

Sora carefully carried the cake over and set it down on top of the cooler, stepping back to admire it with a smile.

“Hey, man,” Tidus remarked as he crushed the can in his hand. “The new net looks great.”

“Of course is does,” Wakka said grouchily into his drink. “This one doesn’t have any giant holes in it.”

Riku put down his beer and dumped a brand-new volleyball out of his backpack. “That’s enough talk. Let’s play.” He caught Sora’s eye and grinned.

Delighted by the challenge, Sora handed his beer to Kairi and raced towards the makeshift court.

Selphie shook her head at the capers as they warmed up. “I will never understand that distinctly male desire to get all sweaty and gross.”

Kairi set Sora's full beer aside, passed Selphie the bottle of sunscreen with a shrug, and rocked back on her elbows to watch.

Tidus and Sora faced off against Wakka and Riku. However, it became clear very quickly that Sora and Riku were leading the match. Sora was lightning quick, closing the space between himself and the ball in the span of a heartbeat. He launched the ball high in the air, higher than Kairi had even thought possible, and Riku surged after it. He spiked the ball directly at Sora, who struck it back so quickly that Riku had to scramble to intercept it. As the last second, he sent it flying back towards Sora. As though shot from a cannon, Sora met it head on.

After a few moments, Tidus and Wakka backed off and let them have their rematch. Kairi couldn’t tear her eyes away—since when were they so evenly matched? They looked like sharks gliding through clear water, like falcons lifted by currents of warm air, like tigers slinking through a dense jungle. The Sora she remembered and the Sora that she had seen fight in the World That Never Was suddenly collided. Kairi couldn’t reconcile what was right in front of her. Her mouth went dry as Sora leaped high and spiked the ball at Riku, grinning broadly.

Riku got under the ball, tapped it into the air, and slammed it at Sora just as he landed. Sora sent it back in a sharp return, forcing Riku back several paces or risk losing. It was Riku's turn to launch the ball high. Sora waited, eyes on the prize as Riku leaped after it for a spike. Sora bent his knees and waited for the ball, breathing deeply over the sound of the surf. All at once, it felt like it had been mere hours and also years since he had been called on to fight for the fate of the world. The ball streaked towards him. Sora let it bounce off his forearms under its own power and then followed it.

Riku landed hard in the sand, his breath whooshing out of his chest. His silver hair hung in his face, but his gaze was sharp. Riku had expected Sora to launch the volleyball high again, but he hadn't. In a blow so light that it was almost harder to intercept, Sora lobbed the ball back over the net. Riku dove for it and just barely managed to strike it back over the net. His foot slipped, off balance, and he went down hard on the beach, taking in a lungful of stinging hot sand. Coughing, wiping grit from his eyes, Riku missed the moment that Sora let the ball go.

Sora slid under the net on his knees, coming to rest beside Riku swiftly. He summoned a small blizzard in his hand, letting the ice melt onto Riku's face to wash the sand from his eyes. “Are you okay?”

Riku sat up. “Fine,” he assured Sora and took the chunk of ice to run over his burning eyes.

Wakka and Tidus returned to the court, picking up the ball from Sora's side.

“I guess you won,” Sora said cheekily.

Riku didn't argue, wiping wet sand from his lips with the back of his hand. He used the tail of his shirt to dry his face and remove the rest of the hot sand. “Guess I did,” he murmured. He regarded Sora, his chest tight with emotion. Sora had always been too sweet, too compassionate, too much of all that was good in this world.

Sora beamed at Riku, blue eyes as bright and clear as the most beautiful day.

“Can we all play now?” Tidus said testily.

“Sure thing,” Sora called over his shoulder. “Riku and I against you and Wakka?”

Tidus made a strangled sound, but Wakka just laughed.

Sora dragged Riku to his feet and then wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. The sun was so warm. Thank goodness there was a cool breeze coming off the ocean.

Kairi lounged back further as the second match began. Sora and Riku were an excellent team, but Wakka and Tidus had been playing volleyball for a long time. Kairi wouldn't say they were evenly matched, but Riku had a habit of being a poor team player, leaving plenty of openings for Wakka and Tidus to take advantage of. After a few minutes, the competition dissolved into fun. There was a lot of hooting and hollering, especially on Sora's part.

Even in the shade, Kairi began to sweat. She peeled off the sundress she had chosen that morning and lay back on her towel in only her bikini. It was tempting to have a beer, if only because they were cold. Beside her, Selphie did the same and dug her yellow-painted toes into the sand.

The volleyball bounced out of bounds when Tidus lost his footing in the soft hot sand. Wakka chased after it.

“Hold up!” Riku called. He peeled off his sweat-slick t-shirt and tossed it in Kairi's general direction. “It is so damn hot.” The sunlight bounced off his pale skin in a way that was almost blinding. Once her vision adjusted, Kairi saw that there wasn't much left of the Riku she remembered either. He was toned to perfection, skin unblemished, muscles rippling beneath satin flesh.

Selphie's mouth dropped open and she shaded her eyes with her hand. Any second now, she was going to start drooling.

“Got that right!” Wakka agreed. He peeled off his shirt as well, glowing golden with a perfect tan.

“Riku!” Kairi shouted at her friend. “You'd better come over here and let me put some sunscreen on you or you're going to regret it later.”

Riku flashed her a grin and served the volleyball over the net carelessly.

“Your loss! You’ll burn to a crisp!” Kairi told him.

Selphie was still staring, her jade eyes were focused solely on the expanse of Riku’s white chest.

Kairi flicked her in the chin with a giggle. “See something you like?”

Selphie closed her mouth with an audible snap and breathed out a soap-opera-sigh. “Damn,” she said to Kairi. “When did Riku get so fine?”

Kairi’s gaze strayed back to Riku. Almost absently, she said, “I guess it was all that time he spent away…” Unbidden, she couldn’t help but think that Riku was so pale because he had been in the darkness then.

Unaware of Kairi’s dark thoughts, Selphie whistled low and appreciatively. She cheered loudly when Wakka managed to score a point, clapping her hands.

Wakka flashed her a bright toothy smile.

Surreptitiously, Kairi focused on Sora. If Riku had changed so much, she wondered what Sora would look like under his t-shirt. The material was already pasted to his back and shoulders with sweat, but it wasn't the same as seeing him without it. Girlish thoughts of actors and musicians flickered through her head. What would Sora look like without his clothes?

“They're all gorgeous,” Selphie said a little too loudly.

Kairi glanced over at her. “Just your type, Selphie?”

“I dunno if I have a type,” Selphie remarked, her gaze ping-ponging between the four boys. Only Riku and Wakka had taken their shirts off. “Do you?”

Kairi dragged her gaze from Sora to look at the little ball of sunlight that was Selphie. “Sure I do,” she admitted.

Selphie looked at Kairi pointedly.

“I'm a fan of brown hair and blue eyes,” Kairi continued. “Someone taller than me. Someone who's nice. I'm not into the whole bad boy thing.”

Selphie giggled. “Oh, I am. I love a bad boy with a heart of gold.”

“Those types only exist in teen fantasy novels,” Kairi reminded her.

Selphie stared dreamily over at the boys. “I'd like someone with a rough and tumble past. I think scars are sexy.”

“Scars?” Kairi repeated, unable to keep the surprise from her voice.

Selphie turned to regard her. “Do you have any scars, Kairi?”

“Sure. Everyone does, right?” Kairi remarked and began to study her naked legs. “I've still got this scar on my knee from when I was six.”

Selphie flopped flat on her towel, looking up at the clear sky. “Don't you like them?”

“Not particularly. I’d get rid of them if I could, but I’m not going to go out of my way for it,” Kairi explained. She turned to face her friend, puzzled by the train of conversation. She tracked her eyes over Selphie’s bare flawless skin. “Do you, Selphie?”

“Just a couple on my ankle,” Selphie said softly. She twisted her leg, showing Kairi the pale marks. “I like the story they tell, the memories that they leave behind.”

Kairi looked down at the knot of scars on her knee. She didn’t really remember the crash she had been in with her bicycle since she had been so young at the time, but the scar lingered as a reminder to be more careful and not go so fast down Breakneck Hill. For her, it was a reminder of stupidity.

“I want to get a tattoo,” Selphie continued and traced her fingernails over the flesh of her thigh absently. “Since I wouldn't want to make a scar on purpose.”

“Of what?” Kairi asked, unable to settle the feeling of unease that had ridden up inside her chest. She raked her fingers through the sand, stared at the gouges, and then smoothed it out.

“I don’t know,” Selphie said absently. “Flowers, maybe.” She twisted a lock of brown hair around her finger and sat up just enough to take a sip of her beer.

“I don’t really like tattoos either,” Kairi murmured. She smoothed her fingers over the scar on her knee. “I wouldn't want one.”

“What about on other people?” Selphie asked curiously, rolling on her stomach to look at Kairi.

“I guess,” Kairi said with a shrug. “I don’t know. I think… my preference would be for perfect skin. I’ve always wanted perfect skin.”

On the volleyball court, there was a dull thud followed by a sudden uproar of noise. Riku shouted Sora's name. By the time Kairi looked over, she saw Sora crouched in the sand with both hands over his nose. Riku was at his side, one hand on Sora's back to steady him and the other wiping sand away from his cheeks.

“You fool,” Tidus shouted, scrambling over to Kairi for something to mop up the blood. “You're not supposed to block the ball with your face.”

Kairi met him halfway with the paper towels. “What happened?”

Riku took the towels from her and pressed them into Sora's face. “What do you think?”

Sora grinned up at Kairi from his position on the ground, blood smudged beneath his nose. “Sorry,” he said. “I wasn't paying attention.”

“Jeez, Sora,” Kairi remarked. “Come sit down with me. We'll put some ice on it.”

“Let's break for lunch anyway,” Tidus said. “I'm starved and the beer's going to be too hot to drink soon.”

Sora dropped down next to Kairi on her towel with a groan and held a block of ice from the beer cooler to his nose until the bleeding stopped. He mournfully pinched the bridge of his nose, wincing. Riku threw himself down on her other side, leaning in close despite the heat. Kairi didn't deny either of them. She had put them both through a lot. Ever since they had returned to the island, they looked at her as though she was about to disappear. She knew they had missed her, had worried about her, and loved her in their own ways.

She tangled her fingers with theirs. Riku's palm was cool from his beer and Sora's was rough from fighting. She gave each of their hands a squeeze, smiling. Sora held her hand just a moment longer than Riku, drawing her attention over to him. It was then that Kairi noticed there was a blistered scar on Sora’s bare forearm, raised and bumpy just above his wrist. She gently ran her fingertips over the mark and studied it curiously. It looked almost like a burn, but it was too large to be something accidental. There was purpose and pain etched into the old wound.

When her fingertips curiously grazed the sensitive scar, Sora pulled away with a jolt. His bright blue eyes stood out in his flushed face.

“Sora?” Kairi asked, drawing her hand away.

“It’s nothing,” Sora said quickly. He folded his hand over the rough scar, tilting his head to the side as he smiled. “A little run in with a Red Nocturne.”

Kairi nodded slowly, keeping her eyes on him.

Sora turned away and rose to his knees to help Selphie unpack the picnic basket of sandwiches and potato chips. Kairi shook herself and began to help as well, studying Sora from the side. It was understandable that Sora would have some scars. The Heartless were tough and the Nobodies were tougher. Sora had surely lost a few battles, taken a few hits, and earned a few marks. He probably didn’t want to think about those pains, those failures, those scars. Kairi smiled and tried to forget the look in his eyes as he had pulled sharply away from her touch.

Sora cut into Selphie's cake with gusto and had two pieces while everyone else made a dent in a case of warming beer. They all sat together, laughing and chatting like old times. Sora kept his hand over the scar on his arm whenever he could. It itched and ached now that it had been in the sun for so long. His own touch soothed it.

After lunch, Kairi and Selphie joined them in a game of volleyball. Tidus had gotten over his muscle-envy of Riku and discarded his shirt. In their bikinis, Kairi and Selphie were as cool as possible. Only Sora kept his shirt on, even though the cotton was pasted to him like a second skin.

The ball rolled out of bounds and Tidus jogged after it.

Sora hunched over, hands on his knees, to catch his breath.

“Sora?” Riku asked with concern. “Aren’t you hot?”

“I’m okay,” Sora said breathlessly. He scraped some damp hair away from his face and stood up straight.

“Are you sure?” Tidus asked and held the ball under his arm. “We can wait if you want to lose the shirt or grab a drink.”

“Yeah, man, you could use a little tan,” Wakka put in.

“Or more beer?” Tidus volunteered.

“I’m fine, really,” Sora said with a nonchalant laugh and held his hands up placatingly. “It’s way hotter in Agrabah than it is here.”

Though Riku stared at Sora a moment longer, he didn’t say anything and backed away from the net to take the ball from Tidus. They played until the sun was at its highest peak and the heat became unbearable. Then, Wakka magnanimously declared the game a tie and ushered everyone back to the safety of Kairi's umbrella. Riku's exposed back and chest were pink from the blinding sun, but Wakka and Tidus had only tanned deeper. Despite the sunscreen, Kairi's fair skin had begun to freckle and burn. Selphie and Sora looked very much the same, if sweaty.

Sora flopped down beside Kairi on the towel and reclaimed his neglected beer. He took a sip and made a face.

“You don't have to drink that,” Riku said. “Give it to me.”

Sora handed it over and Riku chugged it. From his backpack, he produced another bottle of water and handed it to Sora. “It’s getting way too hot to be in the sun anymore. Let's go get ice cream after this,” he continued. “You can get sea salt. That'll make you-know-who happy.”

“You're right,” Sora agreed and drank some cool water.

Kairi packed up her towel and umbrella. Everything was much lighter now that lunch had been eaten and the cooler had been emptied. The boys hauled most of the stuff back to the boardwalk and doled out the leftovers. They all bid farewell to each other and headed off. Kairi fell into step beside Sora and caught his hand, squeezing it briefly. He glanced at her and returned her smile easily. Riku came up on Sora’s other side, bumping his friend’s shoulder so that he nudged into Kairi’s.

“Thanks for the party, Kairi,” Sora said, knocking Riku with his hip to get some space. “It’s great to be back.”

“It’s even better to have you back,” Kairi said, peering around Sora at Riku, “both of you.”

Riku fell back so he could come up on Kairi’s other side and squeeze her in a side hug. He was ridiculously sweaty though and Kairi squealed in displeasure.

“Are you excited to get back to school on Monday?” Sora asked.

Riku shrugged. “It doesn’t matter to me. School is easy.”

Sora huffed. “I wish I felt the same. I have not missed having homework.”

“Don’t worry,” Kairi said brightly. “I’ll help you. I haven’t missed that much.”

“Thanks,” Sora said with a smile.

They stayed together until well after sunset, just talking and being together. As the night cooled, Riku put his shirt back on and Kairi donned her sundress. Sora’s shirt had dried and now hung from his frame, baggy in the ocean breeze. Kairi’s eyes strayed over what bare skin she could see—there was the blistery burn on his forearm, a long cut just across his bicep, a knot of scarring on his elbow. All caught in the fading sunshine, glimmering slightly paler than the rest of his tan. Kairi didn’t give much thought to them, laughing as Sora recounted the tale of his adventures in Agrabah.

…

Kairi left her house early on Monday morning before school and walked towards Sora’s house so she could meet him sooner. Usually, she met up with Sora as he walked past her house and then they walked to Riku’s together, but she wanted to spend more time with him than that. All three of them lived near enough to the school that they didn’t need to take the bus. Since the weather on the island was usually lovely, the walk had never bothered Kairi. Getting to spend more time with her best friends was just a bonus. While they had been gone, the walk had been so lonely—even when she couldn’t remember why.

Rounding the corner to the block Sora lived on, she saw Sora on the sidewalk ahead. However, he didn’t notice her even when she waved. As Kairi got closer, she saw that he was wrestling with his blue plaid tie, looking down rather than where he was going, swearing and mumbling under his breath.

Both to attract his attention and because it was funny to see the Savior of Worlds struggle with a tie, Kairi giggled loudly.

Sora’s head snapped up at the sound, blue eyes narrowed. “Morning Kairi,” Sora greeted. His voice was surprisingly cheerful for his dark expression.

“Need some help?” she offered.

“No,” Sora said. He fell into step beside her, still fumbling with his tie.

Kairi hooked her thumbs in the straps of her backpack.

Sora struggled for another half a block and then gave up with a huff, letting the ends of the tie hang down against his chest.

“Giving up?” Kairi asked.

“Taking a break,” Sora told her. His hands swung idly at his sides, the back of his hand occasionally brushing hers as they walked.

Kairi caught herself wondering what he would do if she reached for his hand while they were alone. Sora had never been shy, touching her and Riku without second thoughts, but when she had reached to touch him on the beach, he had shied away. Sora’s knuckles knocked hers and Kairi stopped thinking about it. She caught his hand and intertwined their fingers. Sora looked slightly startled for only a moment. Then, he smiled affectionately and curled his fingers over hers. His palm was rough, but warm—so very warm.

“Are you happy to be back?” Kairi asked.

“Of course,” he told her, squeezing her hand again. “I missed you.”

They fell into inane chatter as they walked towards where they met up with Riku. Kairi did her best to catch Sora up on the subjects he had missed, but it was hopeless. He and Riku had been gone for more than a year. If they weren’t able to test out, they would have to repeat the year they had missed. There was going to be a lot of studying in both of their futures, especially Sora’s since he had always been the worse student.

Riku was waiting on the sidewalk and closed the space between them as they approached. His green eyes flicked over each of them appraisingly and settled on Sora. Kairi saw his brow wrinkle slightly with confusion.

“Sora didn’t give up on his tie,” she told Riku. “He’s just taking a break.”

Riku’s lips quirked with half a smile. “Really now?”

Sora glowered at his friends.

Before they resumed walking, Riku pinpointed his gaze on Sora’s forearm. “What happened?”

Sora stared at Riku for a heartbeat, his expression flickering. His grip on Kairi’s hand tightened almost imperceivably and then loosened again. “Oh, it’s nothing,” he said.

Kairi craned her neck to peer around at Sora’s free arm. There was a bandage wrapped around his forearm almost from wrist to elbow, as though a large injury lurked beneath.

Riku continued watching at him. “Do you want me to take a look at it?”

“It’s just a scratch,” Sora said. He drew his arm against his side and almost tucked it behind his back, smiling.

“It looks big,” Riku continued. “I can heal it.”

“King Mickey said no magic,” Sora said evasively. “Besides, it’s nothing.”

Riku continued to stare at him.

“Thanks for the concern though,” Sora continued. Then more firmly, he said, “I’ll be fine. All I hurt was my pride.”

Riku nodded slowly, jade eyes bright.

Kairi dismissed the bandage as easily as Sora had, drawing Riku’s focus away with a question about classes. Accidents happened, she knew that. There was no reason to doubt Sora. If he needed something, she had faith that he would talk to her or Riku about it. They were good friends, close friends, after all. However, he wore the bandage in the same place the next day and the day after that and the day after that. He wore the bandage much longer than a simple cut would have needed to heal. In a full week, he never took the bandage off.

XXX

“Scars are not injuries. A scar is a healing. After injury, a scar is what makes you whole.” ― China Miéville

Questions, comments, concerns?


	2. Confrontation

I think I'm going to try to update this story on Thursdays. I have it all finished, I just hate editing and need a deadline for encouragement.

XXX

Kairi rested her cheek against her hand, idly gnawing the end of her pencil as she watched Sora struggle his way through a math problem. He reached up, dragging a hand through his wild hair, and her eyes caught on the bandage wrapped around his forearm but she didn’t mention it. Finally, with a huff of frustration, he threw his pen down and moaned into his palms.

“This is impossible,” he muttered. “I’m going to have to repeat the grade.”

“How many Heartless would you say you’ve defeated?” Kairi asked abruptly.

Sora peeked at her through his fingers, puzzled by the sudden change of topic. “Hundreds of thousands,” he said, muffled behind his hands. Then, he drew them away from his face and regarded her quizzically. His head tilted slightly and his lips quirked and—god, he was just the sweetest person Kairi had ever known. “Why?”

Kairi tamped down a growing smile and instead coyly twisted a strand of cranberry tresses around her finger. “Huh,” she remarked. “I just didn’t think someone that tough could be defeated by math.”

Sora let his breath out slowly, picked up the pen again, and turned his attention to the homework spread between them. “Show me again?”

Kairi smiled, leaned close, and explained it again.

Sora pulled his lower lip between his teeth, nibbling on it while he muscled through the remaining problems. Kairi couldn't help but stare at him, memorizing the line of his jaw and the way his eyes brightened with each victorious answer. When he finished, turning to face her with a delighted smile, she couldn't help but press a lingering kiss to his cheek.

Sora started and turned his head quickly to face her, pink creeping into his cheeks. His lips shaped out her name.

Kairi met his gaze, heat crawling up into her face, but she didn’t let herself back out now. Sora was right there. He was so close. She could feel his breath, smell his skin and shampoo, feel the heat rolling off his body in waves. She rested her hand on his shoulder, pulling him just a little bit closer. Fleetingly, she felt bumps under her fingertips, like wrinkles in his shirt, and tried to smooth them out. Sora twitched, his blue eyes darting from her face to the side and back. Then, Kairi closed her eyes. For just an instant, she thought he wouldn’t close the distance and kiss her.

Then, softly, she felt Sora shift closer. His mouth was gentle and warm, lips soft against her own. Kairi almost grinned, enchanted, but forced herself not too. Her hand slid along his shoulder and tangled in the soft hair at the base of his neck. She parted her lips, snaking her tongue out to trace the seam of his mouth. He opened easily for her, tasting faintly of the orange juice he was drinking. Kairi swept her tongue against his, drawing him closer. Sora’s arms went around her, rough hands pressing against her back, molding her soft curves against the plane of his chest.

Kairi couldn’t help the tiny moan that escaped her lips as Sora’s hard body pressed against hers. She shifted to be even closer to him, wrapping her arms around his back and shoulders. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss. His soft hair tickled her cheeks and hands where she gripped him. His mouth was hot and sweet, gentle, teeth nipping playfully against her tongue when she ventured out. She giggled when he caught her bottom lip and sucked it into his mouth. They broke apart, breathing hard. Sora’s blue eyes sparkled, flitting up to her face and then down to her mouth again. He dove back in, kissing her harder.

Kairi untucked her blouse from her skirt, guiding his hands to the bared skin of her waist. Sora hesitated and then gently slid his rough palms against her lower back. He snaked his hands up her back inside her shirt, clutching her even closer. His fingers moved over her bra without unclasping it, squeezing the strong muscles of her shoulders and upper back instead. Kairi moaned quietly, lost in the feel of his hands, the scent of his skin, the taste of his kiss. Clumsily, she grasped the back of his shirt and tugged to free it from his pants. She was eager to touch him, to feel his hot flesh against her own.

However, as her fingers reached the bottom of his shirt, Sora pulled away with a gasp. He retreated in an instant, breathing hard and flushed. He fumbled her hands away, tugged down his shirt, and then smoothed the wrinkles from her blouse where he had gripped it.

“We shouldn’t,” he said quickly. “Your parents are downstairs.”

Head fogged with hormones, Kairi hadn’t really considered her parents, but she also hadn’t been planning to go all the way. She just wanted to touch him.

Before she could say anything, Sora blundered ahead. “It’s getting late. I should probably go.”

Kairi glanced at the clock. It was almost nine, but Sora usually stayed until ten to study. The last thing he wanted to do was repeat the grade and be separated from her and Riku in school.

Sora got up quickly from the desk that they had been sharing, swept his homework into his bag, and shrugged it onto his shoulder. He looked about to bolt, as though something had frightened him.

“Sora,” Kairi began.

Her heart thudded against her ribcage, shaking her to the core. Maybe she shouldn’t have kissed him—not yet. She had always heard that boys matured slower than girls and maybe he wasn’t ready. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to kiss her and she had just forged ahead without a care for his feelings. However, he had kissed her back and touched her and held her so tightly it was like he never wanted to let go. What had happened? Why was he leaving in such a hurry?

“Sora,” she repeated. “Wait.”

Sora closed the space between them, cradling her face in his rough palms.

All at once, the doubts fled Kairi’s mind.

His eyes were so earnest, filled with emotions, little embers of desire and love burning in the depths of the deep blue. He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her sweetly, stealing the breath from her lungs. Gingerly, he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers, breathing slowly. Kairi’s eyes flickered open, looking up into his flushed face. He looked positively handsome.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Sora whispered.

“Okay,” Kairi said breathlessly.

Sora picked up his backpack and left. Kairi heard him calling farewell to her adoptive parents and then the front door slammed shut. She went to the window and watched Sora take off running down the block. She lifted her hand to her lips, wondering if she could really still taste his kiss or if it was all in her head. She finished the juice that Sora hadn’t, changed into her pajamas, and tucked herself in.

…

It was Tuesday.

Riku watched Sora closely.

Every Tuesday, like clockwork, Sora got sick just in time for Phys Ed. He was fine all morning—laughing with Kairi in their classes, moaning over the math he shared with Riku, eating his lunch happily, going through his language arts with the air of a prisoner walking to the gallows. Sora was the type who would rather exercise his body than his brain. On Mondays, Sora delighted in the release of P.E. and ran for all he was worth. On Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, Sora practically flew to get outside in the sunshine and play sports with the others. On Tuesdays, when they swam in the school pool, Sora always got suddenly sick and went to the nurse’s office.

It was Tuesday and Riku watched, trying to pick out the moment Sora got sick. What was causing this? Sora had always loved to swim. When they were kids, he was always the first to dive into the ocean, regardless of how cold or choppy it was.

Since Riku sat directly behind Sora in their shared language arts class, he stared holes through the back of his friend’s head. Sora was working his way quietly through surprise vocabulary quiz, making little noises of delight when he knew the answer and grumbling quietly when he didn’t. It was honestly adorable. Riku finished the test carelessly and then studied Sora. The white bandage still covered his arm from wrist to elbow. It had been well over a week—far longer than an accidental cut needed to heal. Sora finished his quiz triumphantly and reclined in his desk chair, leaning back into Riku’s space with his hands behind his head.

Usually, Riku would have retaliated by prodding the back of Sora’s head with a pencil until Sora settled back into his own area. Today, Riku just let Sora do what he wanted. He scrutinized the back of Sora’s spiky head, breathing in the smell of Sora’s fruity shampoo. The back of Sora’s neck, visible over the collar of his school uniform, was tan beneath his silver necklace. The knobs of his spine stuck out, thin and fragile. Riku’s gaze traced over the line of Sora’s shoulders and down his exposed arms. Again, he lingered on the bandage.

Then, the teacher called for everyone to pass their quizzes forward.

There was some shuffling from the rear and the girl who sat behind Riku passed a handful of papers forward.

Sora turned in his seat to take the quizzes. His smile was bright, without a trace of illness or unease. “That was actually pretty easy.”

“That’s because you studied,” Riku retorted.

Sora made a face and turned to face forward again.

The bell rang and the whole class gathered up its things to head on to the next class. Sora hesitated, his backpack hanging awkwardly off his elbow.

“Something wrong?” Riku asked, every sense on high alert.

“I thought I forgot something,” Sora said cheerfully. “I didn’t.”

Together, they walked towards the gym. Riku kept pace with Sora, watching him closely. With each step, Sora grew more and more tense. Once the coach came into view, Sora slowed his pace considerably and Riku stopped completely to look at him. Students milled the hallway, breaking off into the locker rooms to change into their swimsuits. The girls squealed and giggled while the boys smacked each other with rolled towels.

“Cut it out!” the coach boomed.

The students scrambled down the hallway and outside to the pool.

Sora placed a hand over his belly and smiled weakly at the coach. “I don’t feel so great all the sudden,” he said. “I’m going to head to the nurse’s office.”

“I’ll walk you,” Riku offered.

This set Sora scrambling. “No, no,” he said quickly. “I’ll be fine, really—”

Riku grasped his flailing hand firmly. “I’ll walk you,” he repeated, giving neither Sora nor the coach room to argue.

Sora fell into step beside Riku without further complaint.

Sora’s hand was warm and rough, sweaty but not clammy, Riku thought as he led Sora through the crowded hallways.

“Um, Riku,” Sora protested suddenly. “The nurse’s office is back that way.”

“I know,” Riku said. “We’re leaving.”

Sora dug in his heels. “I don’t need to go home, Riku,” he said firmly. “I just need to lie down for a little while. I’ll be fine.”

“Sure,” Riku said dismissively. He tugged Sora forward.

With a sigh, Sora allowed Riku to drag him away. It was practically impossible to change Riku’s mind once he had made it up.

As soon as they were outside, Riku tugged Sora into the crop of trees that lined the edge of the school building. He, Sora, and Kairi usually ate lunch at the picnic table nestled under the trees. It wasn’t easily seen from the school and would allow them just enough privacy to get to the bottom of whatever was bothering Sora. Letting go of Sora’s hand, Riku turned to face him. Sora shuffled from foot to foot, his hand still resting over his stomach in the faux of being ill.

“What’s wrong?” Riku said simply.

“I told you, I just don’t feel so great. I want to lie down for a while,” Sora repeated—just like he did every Tuesday.

Riku regarded him, picking out Sora’s body language—the shuffling feet and twisting hands, the way Sora dipped his head and set his mouth. “You’re lying.”

Sora opened his mouth and then shut it. His blue eyes were sharp, almost cold, as he stared at Riku. Finally, he said, “It’s none of your business, Riku. I’m sick. I’m going to lay down in the nurse’s office.” He turned on his heel and began to walk away, shoulders stiff as though expecting an attack.

Riku paced quickly after him and grabbed Sora’s arm right over the bandage.

Sora didn’t react with pain. He whirled around and batted Riku’s hand away. “Leave me alone!” he shouted.

Riku pinched the bandage between his thumb and forefinger and pulled hard enough to unravel it. “You’re not hurt,” he said to Sora simply, even as Sora slapped his palm over the exposed skin on his forearm. “So why do you keep wearing this? You’re not sick so why do you always leave on days we swim?”

Sora stood in front of Riku, shaking slightly, his palm plastered over his forearm. “You,” he said softly, “wouldn’t understand.”

“Explain it to me,” Riku said. He backed away and sat down at the picnic table, trying to lower the level of confrontation between them. As it was, Sora looked about to either break down or take off running. Though Riku didn’t like to admit it, he wouldn't be able to catch Sora if he ran. “Please,” he said gently.

Sora blew out a soft breath, ventured closer, and finally sat down beside Riku at the picnic table. He leaned back against the table for support, resting one elbow on the rough surface, his hand still cupped over his forearm protectively.

Riku didn’t stare at Sora, but watched him from the corners of his eyes. He fingered the length of clean bandage that he had pulled off Sora.

Sora didn’t speak for a long moment. Instead, he drew his palm away from his bared forearm and traced his fingers over the raised brand of a burn scar that bubbled there. Riku remembered seeing it at the beach party. Kairi had noticed it too and asked about it. A run in with a Red Nocturne, he remembered Sora saying.

“I…” Sora began finally. He struggled, swallowing thickly. “I can’t swim.”

Riku glanced at him. “Did you… forget how?”

Sora snorted a watery laugh. “No,” he said. “It’s not that. It’s… I’m afraid to.”

“Did you,” Riku murmured, thinking of all the Heartless they had fought in so many places, “almost drown?”

“It’s not that either.” Sora dragged a hand over his face. “It’s… I…”

Patiently, Riku sat beside Sora as he searched for the right words.

However, Sora backed away from the source of the problem. Instead, he asked Riku, “You… still like Kairi, right?”

Riku couldn’t hide the surprise in his expression as he turned to face Sora.

Sora wasn’t looking at him, blue eyes fixed forward on the springy grass.

Riku didn’t answer right away, taking a moment to think, since this was clearly so important to Sora. When the worlds had fallen into darkness, all Riku had been able to think about was Kairi. He had teamed up with Maleficent and attacked Sora in a foolhardy attempt to restore her heart, which had been beating within Sora the entire time. After Sora had saved her, Riku had fallen deeper and deeper into the darkness. He hadn’t thought he would ever be able to get out. However, Sora had searched every corner of every world for him.

He could still remember the feeling of Sora clutching his hand, falling to his knees—crying—when Sora had finally found him in the World That Never Was.

Somewhere along the line, in the darkness when Sora’s heart had been Riku’s only guiding light, Kairi had fallen by the wayside. Honestly, Sora was the one. Riku wanted Sora to be happy above all else. He loved Kairi, but as his dear friend and nothing else. Even if Kairi came to him tomorrow, professing her love, Riku wouldn’t act on it. To do so would hurt Sora too much and he never wanted to hurt Sora—never again.

However, Riku must had thought about this for too long because Sora barreled on.

“You should ask her out,” Sora said suddenly.

Riku’s head snapped up, shock lining his face. “What—?”

Sora stood up sharply, keeping his back to Riku. He fidgeted with his arm, running his palm up and down it. “Yeah,” he said with forced nonchalance, “you know, she and I—we just can’t—it’s not going to work out.” He stared to walk away, briskly, about to run. “So, you should, you know—”

“Wait, Sora!” Riku protested. He grabbed Sora’s wrist and jerked him around to face him. “Where is all this coming from? You’ve liked Kairi since we were little kids. You—”

Sora tried to hide beneath his bangs, but it was too late.

Riku had already seen.

Sora was crying. Helpless fat tears slid down Sora’s cheeks and dripped off his chin. He turned his face away, sniffling hard, trying to dry his cheeks with his free hand. He swiped hard at his face, pulling the sleeve of his shirt up to dry his cheeks. “Let me go,” Sora forced out in a voice that cracked like ice when water was poured over it. “Okay? Just let me go.”

“Not a chance,” Riku said softly. “Come here.”

Sora put up token resistance as Riku pulled him closer, dragging Sora against his chest and wrapping his arms tightly around his best friend. Sora was small and slender, fitting perfectly beneath Riku’s chin. Riku tucked Sora close, rubbing his back as he cried and stroking his hair. For how spiky it was, it was so soft.

It was as Riku rubbed Sora’s back that he felt it—bumps and lumps, long ridges and short ones, valleys and rises. As Riku’s caress became purposeful, tracing the marks he felt through the thin cotton, Sora squirmed away. His tears hadn’t really dried. He sniffled and wiped his face with his hands. The burn on his forearm stood out, pale against his tan. It still looked painful, even healed. Wrapping around the back of his bicep, there was another thin slicing scar. At his elbow, there was a crest of raised tissue that looked like it came from a nasty slide.

“Sora?” Riku murmured.

“You heard Kairi,” Sora said softly, “that day on the beach.”

Riku had heard the girl’s talking, but he hadn’t really been listening. His focus had been on the game, but then Sora had just stopped and the volleyball had bounced off his face in a fountain of blood. He wracked his brain, trying to remember what they had been talking about.

Sora scrubbed at the scar on his forearm and refused to meet Riku’s eyes. “Kairi wants someone with… perfect skin,” he said finally.

Riku’s heart skipped a beat. Hastily, he began, “Sora—”

Sora hooked his fingers at the neck of his shirt and tugged it aside so forcefully that several buttons popped of and disappeared into the thick grass. Along his collarbone, stretching to the edge of his shoulder, spanning down as far as Riku could see through the vee of unfastened buttons, were scars. There were more burns, long slashes, deep gouges, star-shaped marks where projectiles had buried themselves inside Sora. Just there, exposed above the neck of his shirt, every inch of Sora’s flesh had been marked.

Sora let out a little self-deprecating laugh. “So… clearly that’s not going to be me,” he said. “I just thought… you don’t have any scars, right, Riku?”

Riku’s mouth turned into a desert, dry and barren.

It was true. Riku didn’t have a single scar. He had been sheltered by Maleficent’s powers and given Heartless to do his bidding. When Ansem had possessed him, the energy had created a new body in Riku’s place, leaving his own untouched and unmarred. When he wore Ansem’s visage, his own body was protected once again. Though Riku had fought a few times in his own body and with his own form, he hadn’t earned any grievous injuries. Roxas was Sora, after all, and had never really wanted to hurt him. When he and Sora had fought Xehanort, Sora had always been quick to heal him or shield him.

“Sora,” Riku said slowly, approaching with his hands spread out. He wanted to grab Sora and pull him close again, to shelter and protect him the way he should have from the very beginning. If Riku hadn’t done the things he had done, if they had been a team, if he had only had Sora’s back instead of—

Sora shied away, running his fingertips against the slash on his bicep. “Don’t tell Kairi, okay? Please?”

Riku froze, his heart skipping beats. “What are you going to tell her?”

Sora shrugged, half-hearted. “Something else,” he said. “Anything else. I just… I wanted her to be happy. I want her to have the kind of boyfriend she wants—the kind she deserves.”

Before Riku could say anything to protest, Sora took off as though fired from a cannon.

Sora sprinted across the schoolyard. Riku rushed after him but couldn’t catch up on foot. Sora rounded the school building and disappeared in a burst of magic flight that wasn’t allowed. Riku leaned against the bricks, breathing hard. He wanted to follow Sora. He wanted to find Kairi and tell her everything. This was so messed up. Sora was a hero. He shouldn’t have felt the need to hide his body, to hide the marks that he had earned saving everyone from the dark. Those scars were badges of valor and light, nothing to be ashamed of, but… Sora didn’t see it that way.

“Riku?” came Kairi’s voice, startling him.

He turned to face her and found that she was jogging in place just behind him. She had a different P.E. class than they did and today her class was running laps around the school. She wore a tank top and short shorts, all her bare flesh on display. “What’s wrong? I just saw Sora fly off,” she said.

“It’s nothing,” Riku lied. “Sora didn’t feel well. He just went home for the day.”

Kairi shaded her eyes from the sun with her hand. “Oh, I hope he feels better soon. We’re supposed to have another study session soon.” Her cheeks tinged with pink and Riku wondered what had happened between them while they were studying alone. “I’ll just text him,” she said and started to jog away. “I’ll catch you later, Riku.”

“Right,” Riku said absently. He stared after Sora, wondering what he could possibly do to help his friend now.

…

Once the school was far enough away and Sora was sure Riku wouldn’t be able to catch up to him, he slowly descended from the sky. It was always nice to get above the trees and look down on the world he had worked so hard to restore. He glided to the beach and touched down gently on the sand. He took off his shoes and carried them, slogging through the sand until he could stand at the edge of the surf. The water was cold, lapping over his toes and soaking his pants. He let his breath out slowly and wiped the lingering salt of tears from his cheeks.

Though it had felt good to let out his emotions and tell Riku the real reason he didn’t want to swim, saying aloud that he couldn’t be with Kairi hurt more than he had expected. When he had come back from the Realm of Darkness with Riku at his side, Kairi was so happy to see him. Everyone had been happy to see him. Amidst repeating his carefully-crafted cover story and telling his mother the truth of his disappearance, he hadn’t even thought about the state of his body. However, when he had heard her on the beach, his dreams of being with her had shattered. It wasn’t as though he had one or two small scars that could be overlooked.

His chest, back, hips, legs, and arms were all mutilated with the skeletons of old wounds. Donald had always carefully healed Sora’s face and hands, but the mage wasn’t the greatest healer and potions were expensive. Often times, Sora had healed what was life-threatening with his own growing magic and left the rest to heal on its own. At the time, he had had so many bigger problems than the thought of a few scars.

Now, he stared down at the blistered wound on his forearm and wished he had taken just a little more time to heal himself. There had just always been something else that needed his attention. He hadn’t had time to rest or heal, especially in the beginning and that had been when he earned the most wounds.

He couldn’t change it now. He had already sent a communication to Donald, asking if there was any way to heal scars. Donald had apologized and offered to send potions, but things that had already healed couldn’t be healed again. He was stuck like this—with his memories and scars, his imperfections as they were.

He had tried to think of a way he could still be with Kairi with his body in this condition. Kissing her had been everything he had ever wanted, but… how could he ever ask her to be with him? Especially when he knew she was disgusted by scars, when all she wanted was perfect skin? No, that wasn’t fair to her and she was his princess. He wanted her to have everything she could ever dream of. He wanted her to be happy, even if it wasn’t with him.

He had thought that Riku could make her happy…

Sora wandered the beach until the sun dipped below the horizon. He needed to go back to school for his satchel, but he had a feeling Riku had brought it to his house. Riku was probably waiting for him there now. Sora didn’t expect that Riku would just let this go. With a heavy sigh, Sora started walking home as penance for using magic after the King had expressly asked him not to.

His childhood home was aglow, the air-conditioning hummed, and he could smell his mother cooking dinner inside. There was no sign of Riku, but Sora hadn’t expected to see his longtime friend sitting on the steps like a bum. His mother would have invited Riku inside if he had shown up.

Sora let himself in and tucked his shoes just inside the door. “I’m home,” he called. “Mom?”

Sora’s mother stepped around the corner, beaming as she stirred a bowl of guacamole. “Are you hungry? I’m making your favorite—tacos!”

Sora hugged her briefly. “Starving,” he said. “Let me just change.” He peeked into the kitchen and then into his bedroom, but there was no sign of Riku. His backpack wasn’t there either which was unfortunate because he had left his phone in it. Well, certainly Riku was holding on to it in an attempt to make Sora come fetch it. Sora didn’t need his phone that badly. He stripped out of his school uniform, careful to avoid looking at himself in the mirror, and changed into something more comfortable. Then, he shrugged into a hooded sweater to hide the scar on his arm.

Kairi wasn’t the only one who had noticed the burn scar. He didn’t want his mother to worry.

“Riku called,” his mother said when he sat down at the kitchen table. “He said he has your phone and school bag. He’ll give them to you in the morning.”

“Thanks,” Sora said.

“Did something happen?” his mother asked with concern, sitting across from him at the table.

“I just forgot it,” Sora lied. “I was in a hurry to get to the beach and play volleyball.”

His mother shook her head. “Oh, Sora,” she said. “You’re going to have to grow up sometime. Riku is already so mature and responsible.”

Sora swallowed the knot in his throat, his appetite suddenly faded. ‘Be more like Riku,’ the voice of insecurities whispered in the back of his mind. Sora shook it away and forced himself to laugh good-naturedly at his mother’s slight. “I know, I know,” he told her. When he told her what happened to the world, to him, he had glossed over nearly everything. He had never told her that Destiny Island had been devoured, that he had been beaten and betrayed by Riku, that he had destroyed himself to save Kairi, that he had sacrificed everything and saved everyone. He never told her how hard it was. He hadn’t wanted her to worry. He didn’t want anyone to worry.

She smiled at him, chattering as she made up her plate.

Her voice faded through Sora’s head, ringing distantly.

Sora fixed a taco for himself. Though it was his favorite and it had been so long since his mother had cooked for him, he ate without really tasting any of it.

XXX

Questions, comments, concerns? 


	3. A [Clean] Break

So sorry that I forgot to post on the holiday! I hope everyone had a nice day regardless!

XXX

The next morning dawned cool but humid. Bidding farewell to his mother, Sora walked directly to Riku’s house to pick up his backpack, rather than meeting Kairi halfway as he usually would have. He knew Riku would be waiting to give him a piece of his mind and had probably sent Kairi a message to meet up at his house instead so that he and Sora could speak privately. Sora wasn’t surprised to see Riku standing patiently on the sidewalk regardless of the early hour when he rounded the corner of the block. Riku had Sora’s pack hanging from one hand, the other cocked on his hip. He looked ready for a fight.

Sora stopped a few feet away from his friend, letting out a slow breath. He already knew what lecture was coming, but he had to let Riku get it out of his system.

Surprisingly, Riku didn’t immediately leap into his tirade. Instead, he handed Sora his backpack and phone. Then, he sucked in a deep breath.

Sora braced himself, gritting his teeth.

Riku’s battle-ready posture drooped and he said only, “Kairi texted you.”

Startled, Sora read through the messages quickly. It started with an offer to study and segued delicately into a suggestion to hang out. Riku had shot her a message to let her know that Sora had forgotten his phone so that she wouldn’t worry over Sora’s lack of response. She had closed up the string of unanswered messages with ‘Goodnight,’ and a smiling face.

“She likes you,” Riku said simply.

Sora put his phone into his pocket, his hands cold and clammy with nerves. His heart twisted as he thought of her feelings. “I know,” he said to Riku dismissively.

Riku huffed a breath, frustrated. “Then why don’t you—”

“Riku,” Sora interrupted. His voice was flat and hard, like the edge of a knife. “Kairi is a Princess of Heart. She has one of only seven of the purest hearts in countless worlds.”

Riku stared at him, wondering where this was going.

“If she sees all my scars, of course she’s going to tell me that it doesn’t matter,” Sora said firmly. “She can tell me whatever she wants, but I already know the truth. I heard her tell Selphie that she doesn’t like scars. Knowing that and knowing how many scars I have, trying to be with her now just isn’t fair. I don’t want to force her to deal with—” he gestured at his hidden torso, at his forearm bandaged once again “—all this. I can’t force her to look at me. She doesn’t deserve that. She deserves better.”

“Sora,” Riku tried again, but what could he say?

Sora had heard those words right from Kairi’s lips and there was absolutely no reason why she would have lied to Selphie. Selphie was her best female friend. Kairi hadn’t been lying when she told Selphie that she didn’t like scars, but Riku had a feeling that wasn’t the absolute truth. It was just a thought, a brief admittance that Sora had overheard at the wrong time and fixated on.

Finally, Riku threatened, “I’ll tell her.”

Immediately, he wished he hadn’t.

Sora’s bright blue eyes turned on him in an instant, his expression stormy.

All at once, Riku remembered the same look on Sora’s face when he had faced him in Hollow Bastian, when he had taken away the Keyblade, when he had taken Donald and Goofy, when he had left Sora all alone in a dangerous place with a wooden sword—when he had mocked and brutally betrayed his best friend.

Hastily, Riku faltered, “Sora, I—”

“I’ve forgiven you for a lot of things, Riku,” Sora said lowly, “but if you tell Kairi any of this, I won’t forgive you this time.”

Riku’s heart stopped in his chest, apologies that he had already said bubbling up like fresh blood from a wound. He didn’t get a chance to repeat any of them nor did he get an opportunity to backpedal.

Kairi’s voice rang out. “Good morning, Sora, Riku!” She jogged briskly to catch up to them, bumping directly between them without ever noticing the tension that had risen like a wall.

Sora flashed a smile, dragging a hand through his hair. “Sorry I didn’t get your messages, Kairi,” he said. “I forgot my phone and bag at school.”

“That’s okay,” Kairi said cheerfully. “Riku told me you didn’t feel well.”

Sora’s gaze darted to Riku’s face and back to Kairi. “Yeah,” he agreed and then swiftly changed the subject.

Riku realized that Sora was a terrible liar, but he was one hundred percent committed to doing what he thought was right no matter the cost. Sora had already proved that time and time again. Now, Riku knew he would do it once more and Kairi would never know why.

…

Something was off, Kairi thought, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. Sora was his usual cheerful self and Riku was his usual sullen self. However, the two of them kept exchanging looks that led to Sora slithering away and Riku huffing in a frustrated way. When Kairi asked Riku about it, he told her it was nothing. When she asked Sora about it, he feigned ignorance and lifted his smile like a shield. Something was going on.

Were they planning a surprise? Maybe they were going to take her off world? Kairi had always wanted to visit the places that Sora told such exciting stories about.

“Good morning, Kairi!” Sora called brightly, pulling her from her troubled thoughts. His smile was close-lipped.

Her heart clutched at the sight of him, warming her from the inside. “Good morning, Sora.” Kairi tried to catch his hand, but he stepped ahead of her and walked backwards so he could look at her, smiling all the while. “You’re going to fall,” she warned, “and crack your head open.”

“No, I won’t,” Sora said.

Since they had kissed in her bedroom studying, Sora had kept space between them. It was almost as though he was waiting for something—for the right time, Kairi supposed, though she wished he wouldn’t be so uptight. He had scoured multiple worlds in search of her and she had dived into danger looking for him. It wasn’t as though either of them needed to worry that the other was just looking for the ‘one thing’ that all teenagers had on their minds.

Riku joined them a block later, catching Sora around the shoulders and spinning him to face the correct direction. He held Sora to his side for a moment before Sora squirmed away, laughing and walking alongside Riku instead.

The trio headed into the school and lost themselves in the rigamarole of a usual Thursday. They muddled through classes and then sat together outside at lunch under the shade of the big trees.

“It’s getting cool,” Kairi remarked as she bit into her sandwich.

“There’s supposed to be a big storm this weekend,” Riku muttered.

“Really?” Kairi asked with a whine. “I hate that. Why can’t it rain during the week while I’m stuck at school?”

Sora chuckled, sipping water from a reusable bottle.

“We should do something anyway,” Kairi said to them. “We never get to spend any time together anymore.”

“My parents said the same thing,” Riku told her crossly. “I’m slated for some mandatory family fun this weekend.”

“Boo,” Kairi muttered and turned her attention to Sora. “How about it? Want to do something?”

Sora coughed into his hand. Kairi was looking at him so earnestly, with such excitement, that he couldn’t deny her. “Sure,” he agreed. “Whatever you want.”

Riku’s green eyes darted over Sora, inscrutable.

Sora looked down into his lunch.

Kairi beamed, chattering and throwing ideas at Sora like projectiles.

Riku watched Sora closely. Sora had always been the kind of person who wore his heart on his sleeve. Even now, trying to keep his thoughts from Kairi, Riku could see the edge of Sora’s smile twist with concern. Sora wanted to let Kairi go without telling her about the riot of scars beneath his clothes. Sora knew that Kairi would overlook the scars, but he didn’t want to force her to do so. It would have been honorable, if Sora hadn’t been completely wrong. However, Riku hadn’t been able to persuade Sora otherwise and each attempt had been met with a swift escape on Sora’s part.

Riku supposed he could just tell Kairi, but Sora didn’t want that. Riku thought of Roxas—a sullen lonely part of Sora that was full of sorrow and distrust. There was truth to Roxas, a piece that Sora kept buried beneath his smile and his compassion. Riku knew that if he told Kairi and broke Sora’s trust, that Sora would do something drastic. He was afraid Sora would disappear—just like Roxas. He couldn’t tell Kairi.

“Why don’t we go out to the play island?” Kairi said suddenly. “Just like old times?”

Sora smiled a little too wide. “That would be perfect,” he agreed.

Kairi beamed, delighted.

It would be perfect, Sora thought. If they went out to the play island, he would be alone with Kairi. He wouldn’t have to worry about Riku any longer. He had already decided that he was going to tell Kairi that he had fallen in love with someone from another world. That would be perfectly plausible, considering all he had been through. Then, with that excuse in mind, Kairi wouldn’t question why he left or where he went. She would just assume he was visiting his sweetheart in another world. She probably wouldn’t go back to the play island after that and it would give Sora the perfect hideaway where they wouldn’t have to see each other.

All he had to do was break cleanly from Kairi—all he had to do was force himself to break his own heart.

It would be easy, he told himself, looking at Kairi as she smiled and laughed. He had already done it for her.

…

Saturday morning dawned beneath a blanket of grey clouds. The weather was nothing if not dreary, but Kairi didn’t let it get her down. She was spending the day on the play island with Sora, alone, and there was nothing that could get in the way of that. Hopefully, she could kiss him again. Kairi donned her favorite sandals, a soft swirly skirt, and a low-cut ruffled tank top over her bikini. It was a little cool with the breeze blowing off the ocean so she grabbed a sweater, just in case. Calling farewell to her parents, she headed to meet Sora.

Surprisingly—or not surprisingly at all, since this was Sora after all—he was waiting right outside. Sora carried a small picnic hamper and wore dark shorts with a bright red shirt. His hair was wild, but he smiled warmly when he saw her. “Good morning,” he said cheerfully.

“Sora,” Kairi chided. “I thought we agreed to meet at the docks.”

“And let you walk all that way alone?” Sora said incredulously.

Kairi giggled and fell into step beside him. His hands were occupied with the picnic hamper so she didn’t try to touch him.

At the dock, Sora jumped down into his small rowboat and settled the basket into a safe place. Then, he held out his hand for Kairi, saying sweetly, “Princess.”

She took his hand and stepped into the boat, squeezing his fingers as she settled herself beside the basket.

Sora took a seat at the oars and began to row. He was much stronger than when they were children and the short expanse of water flew by. The rowboat whispered as he let it drift towards the dock. He cast the short line and reeled the boat in, tying it off. He clambered onto the low dock and offered his hand again. After Kairi climbed out, he retrieved the picnic hamper and carried it onto the beach.

“Wow,” Kairi remarked, looking up at the tall palms and roughhewn boardwalk. “This is so nostalgic. I haven’t been here since…”

“Neither have I,” Sora agreed.

Suddenly, Kairi danced ahead, a plan forming in her mind. “Come on, Sora!” she called, spinning to face him. “Let’s go into the secret place!”

“Kairi, wait for me,” Sora shouted.

Kairi ran ahead of him, batting her way through the fronds that had overgrown the entrance. She spilled inside and found it much cooler in the small cavern than it was outside. She shivered, goosebumps rising on her arms at the chill and with excitement. It felt like so long ago since she and Sora and carved each other’s faces on the stone. She still didn’t know when Sora had added the star-shaped paopu fruit to the drawing, but she had added her own after he restored the worlds. She knew he hadn’t seen her addition. This was the perfect opportunity to tell him how she really felt—to tell him that she loved him.

Sora surged through the opening. He stood for a moment, blinking in the dimness, hands partially outstretched before him.

Kairi was standing in shadow, nearly invisible. Her eyes had already adjusted to the dark so she was able to see Sora’s reaction perfectly. His blue eyes roamed, searching for her, then glazed over as he took in the cavern walls. He stretched out a hand and ran it along the cool stone, feeling the gouges where they had drawn together as young children. A small smile pulled at his mouth, tinged with an emotion that Kairi couldn’t quite place. Then, he cheated. Lifting a hand to shoulder level, he summoned a small living flame in his palm. It danced and sparkled, illuminating the furthest reaches of the cavern.

“There you are,” Sora said, spotting her with his makeshift lantern.

Kairi pushed away from the wall and walked deeper into the cavern. “I came here a lot while you were gone,” she said softly. “I missed you so much. Being here, it…” She trailed her hand along the wall, brushing aside dirt and roots that had grown in Sora’s absence. “It made me feel close to you.”

Sora’s face looked pale in the flickering firelight. He began, “Kairi…”

She stepped aside, drawing his attention beyond her shoulder and to the wall where they had drawn each other. The shooting star of the paopu Sora had drawn of himself sharing with Kairi had faded slightly, but Kairi’s was new and sharp. She stood beside it, eyes on his face. His throat flashed as he swallowed. He looked as though he was struggling.

“Sora?” Kairi asked softly. “What is it?”

He swiped at his eyes. “Nothing,” he said. “Just some dust in my eyes. Can we go outside?”

It hadn’t exactly been the reaction Kairi was hoping for, but she nodded and followed him out. The picnic hamper was waiting at the edge of the sand. The waterfall was deafening now that Kairi was standing nearly underneath it, cold spray settling on the arms of her sweater. Sora beckoned her away, leading her to stand beneath a cropping of palms. The sky had darkened considerably and the breeze was chilled. The storm, which Kairi had hoped would change its mind, was brewing over the ocean. Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea.

“Sora?” Kairi repeated, rubbing the wetness from her clothes.

He snuffed the flame between his palms in a tiny puff of smoke. “I… need to talk to you,” Sora said. “And I want to start off by apologizing.”

Kairi’s stomach twisted. “For what?” she breathed.

Sora looked up and met her eyes. His face was tortured, eyes haunted and mouth sallow, but he forged ahead. “We can’t be together,” he began.

Kairi felt as if all the air had been pulled from her lungs, leaving her shaking and empty. “W-what?” she whispered. “W-why?”

Sora’s hand twitched, reached for her, and then drew back. “There’s someone else,” he said, “on another world. I’m sorry.” His voice cracked. “I’m so sorry.”

Kairi turned away. Something was strangling her heart, a tight fist squeezing, squeezing, squeezing until she couldn’t even breathe. “Who?”

Sora’s long fingers closed on her shoulder, turning her back to face him. The tips of his fingers were like ice. “I’m so sorry, Kairi. I really am.”

Tears burned in her eyes, but she squeezed her lids shut to hide them.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” Sora continued.

Overhead, thunder crashed.

It was fitting, Kairi thought, that the storm should break just as she shattered inside. She opened her eyes to look at Sora, freeing the tears that she had trapped inside.

Sora drew in a sharp breath. “Oh god,” he whispered.

He looked so surprised. Kairi wondered what he had expected when he ripped her heart out. Had he thought she wouldn’t mind or wouldn’t care? Had he thought he meant so little that she could just take his words—the loss of him—without crying? Kairi swallowed, choking on the lump in her throat.

“Kairi, I—I’m so sorry,” Sora breathed out.

She brushed his hand from her shoulder. “I hope she makes you happy, Sora,” she found herself saying because, even now, she wanted him to be happy.

Thunder crashed again, drowning out Sora’s answer.

Kairi flinched. It was so loud.

The storm was directly overhead. Rain began to fall, pattering in stinging droplets on the top of Kairi’s head and against her exposed legs. If she had been sitting inside the secret cavern, kissing Sora, the storm would have sounded romantic. Out here, trapped in it, having her heart plucked out, it suddenly was just fitting. Beneath the hurt, Kairi wondered why Sora had kissed her the way he had if he was in love with someone else. She had never thought he would be the type to do something like that. Then again, she had been certain that he loved her. He had risked so much—done so much—for her.

Then again, he had done everything for Riku, too. Maybe Sora would do anything for all his friends.

Blinded by her tears, Kairi didn’t see the lightning strike.

Sora did.

Overhead, a sodden palm tree exploded in a maelstrom of sparks. The slender trunk snapped like a twig, smoking and burning. The fronds trembled, flying off in clumps of soaked ash. It plummeted directly towards them—directly towards Kairi. She turned as though in slow motion, lifting her hands in a pathetic ply for protection before it crushed her. Sora called his Keyblade without hesitation.

“Reflect!”

The magic encased her, powerful and strong, driven by Sora’s will and emotions. The palm ricocheted off it, splintering further. Smoking rubble and cinders flew towards Sora, hurtled away by the shield. He felt embers land on his exposed arms, searing through the bandage on his forearm. The pouring rain doused the sparks quickly. However, he hadn’t thought about the consequences of holding a metal weapon in his hand in the middle of a storm. Even if he had, he wouldn’t have cared. Kairi was more important.

Lightning streaked towards the raised Keyblade.

Luckily, the Keyblade was no ordinary weapon, but the sudden surge of electricity was enough to send Sora to his knees. He coughed, his heart jumping wildly in his chest, his arms and legs going numb. The lightning arched off the Keyblade and struck a second palm tree behind Sora, bursting into flames. Winded, tingling from the electric strike, Sora wasn’t able to react in time. The last thing he remembered was Kairi screaming his name.

…

Luckily, the second palm tree landed across the first and didn’t crush Sora’s body, but it had struck him in the back of the head. He slumped forward facedown in the sodden sand, unconscious, and his Keyblade vanished in a shower of sparks. Kairi staggered to her feet and acted quickly, adrenaline giving her strength. She grabbed him under the arms and dragged him through the slapping foliage into the secret place. The chill immediately seeped through her saturated clothes, sending a shudder through her whole body, to say nothing of the ache still burning in her chest.

Outside the cavern, the storm howled and raged like a rabid beast.

Kairi went into overdrive, her heart pounding against her ribs. She checked Sora’s pulse and found it strong if not a little rapid. The Keyblade had protected him from the worst of the lightning, she realized.

Relieved, she quickly scoured Sora’s exposed skin for injuries. Sparks had seared the bandage on his forearm and left little pocks in his clothes, but he didn’t look harmed otherwise. She had seen the lightning leap into the Keyblade and then the palm tree had struck him while he was doubled over, but he looked otherwise unharmed. Relieved, Kairi rolled Sora onto his back and shrugged out of her sweater. It was soaking wet, but softer than the cavern floor. She folded it and tucked it beneath his head gently, kneeling at his side.

Thunder crashed loud enough to leave her ears ringing.

In the dimly-lit cavern, with nothing to look at but the moon-curve of his face, she studied him. Her throat tightened with tears and her heart thudded hollowly against her ribcage. Sora… She had loved him almost as long as she could remember. She had always thought they would be…

Kairi shook herself and looked around the cavern at the drawn-on walls, purposefully avoiding their portraits.

With the storm and all, this reminded her so much of the night Destiny Island had been devoured by the Heartless. Though her memory of that time was fuzzy at best, she could remember being drawn like a sleepwalker to the play island, to the secret place, to the sealed door inside this very cavern—just like Riku. She remembered standing right here, her heart pounding, dizzy with fear and pain. It had felt as though something was trying to tear the beating heart from her chest. She knew now that the Heartless had been seeking her, trying to devour her. If not for Sora’s arrival, they would have.

Sora had come looking for her, looking for Riku, seeking his two best friends. She had never asked what had drawn him out into the storm that night. She remembered hearing his voice, calling her name though the darkness and the fear. She had turned, seen him, and the ache in her chest had diminished. She found out later that was the moment her heart had taken shelter inside of his. Through the blur of Heartless, darkness, and devouring pain, she remembered Sora’s heart as a beacon of warm light. For just an instant, she had felt his arms engulf her, a shelter against all the billowing dark that wanted to steal her light.

She had never wanted to leave him.

She never wanted him to leave her.

Kairi looked at Sora’s unconscious face. His eyes were closed, thick dark lashes lying against his cheeks like twin fans. His gravity-defying hair was plastered down from the rain, strewn like molten chocolate. His soft mouth was pinched, probably from the lingering effects of being struck by lightning, but his color was normal. His chest rose and fell with even breaths. He looked small and slender, but his body was lean and corded. He was stronger than he looked, in body and heart.

His shirt had ridden up slightly at his belly and Kairi absently reached to fix it. She tugged it down to reach his pants and then smoothed the fabric against his stomach. Beneath her palm, she felt the ridges of his muscles and smiled sadly when she realized he had six-pack abs but she would never get to see them. Then, she realized that the ridges didn’t run straight across his torso. They snaked at an angle, seeming to start near the bottom of his ribcage and extend beneath his pants. She wasn’t feeling abs. She was feeling…

Nervously, glancing at Sora’s unconscious face, she lifted his shirt slightly.

Scars.

Scars upon scars upon scars.

Sora’s torso was a mess of claw-marks, starbursts, scrapes, slashes, raised burns, and sunken punctures.

She lifted his shirt a little higher, but there appeared to be no place on his body where he hadn’t been marked. She pressed a hand over her mouth, stifling a sob at the thought of the pain caused by so many wounds. She couldn’t believe the condition he was in. He had always looked so strong, so confident, so… young. She had never thought…

Unbidden, her eyes tracked suddenly to the bandage on his arm that he had been wearing for so long—for too long. She pinched the bottom and began to unravel it. The sparks from the burning palm tree had seared through the white gauze, leaving tiny burns on Sora’s arm. However, she found no fresh wound—only another scar. This one she remembered pointing out on the beach when Sora first came back. After that, Sora started covering it up.

A twisted picture began to come into view.

Sora wouldn’t take his shirt off at the beach or to swim during Phys Ed on Tuesdays. He covered the scar on his forearm with a bandage. He hadn’t let Kairi touch his skin or remove his shirt. He had been hiding the truth, hiding how much it had cost him to save them, hiding the pain he had gone through—was still going through.

Kairi smoothed his shirt back down with a shaking hand and sniffed, her eyes filled with tears. She couldn’t believe he had hidden this from her. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t even noticed. Why wouldn’t Sora have said something?

Her gaze tracked up from his bare shins and knees, also peppered with scars, over his shorts and the plane of his chest. When she reached his face, she realized that he had woken up. His blue eyes were sharp, focused on her with a frightening intensity. She quickly tried to dry up her tears, but they just kept coming.

“Sora,” she began, smiling through the tears still rolling unchecked down her face. “Um…”

“Don’t,” Sora said and his voice was bitingly cold. He sat up quickly, too quickly, and doubled over. He clutched his head with a wince, staggering and finally leaning his weight against the stone wall. His hands were shaking, whether from the aftereffects of the lightning or emotion, she couldn’t be sure. “Don’t.”

Kairi swallowed, her throat tight. She wanted to say something to him—to apologize for invading his privacy, to apologize for all that he had gone through, to ask if there was anything she could do to help, to try to do anything to smooth over what clearly bothered him enough to hide it. “Sora,” she tried again.

“Stop,” he snapped. He turned from the wall and paced away from her, arms wrapped tight around his torso. He looked as though he was trying to hold himself together, trying to keep himself from breaking apart. “I know you saw.”

Kairi nodded shakily. “I’m so s—”

“Don’t,” he interrupted. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll leave after this.”

“Leave?” Kairi repeated, shocked.

Sora glanced over his shoulder at her, a self-deprecating smile pulling at his mouth. “I never wanted you to know.”

Kairi struggled to her feet, her legs numb from sitting on them on the rough stone. “What?” she asked, shivering. “You didn’t want me to know that you had scars? Sora, I—”

“I know you hate them,” he broke in.

Horrified, she tried to grasp his shoulder, but he whirled away. “Sora, what—? Where would you get that idea?”

He stared at her, blue eyes like a thin sheet of ice over stormy water. “I heard you.”

“Heard me?” Kairi repeated. She wracked her brain, but she couldn’t recall ever having said she hated Sora’s scars. She hadn’t even realized that he had so many. He had been hiding them ever since he got back.

Sora paced to the mouth of the cavern, looked out at the raging storm like a rabbit seeking to escape a predator, thought better of it, and paced back again. His heavy footsteps were drowned out by the sound of the rain. He had worn his boots rather than sandals.

Kairi was abruptly grateful to the storm for keeping Sora trapped here. She had heard from Riku just how fast he could run, to say nothing if he used magic to glide or fly. She stopped trying to catch hold of him though and let him restlessly pace, watching him with her arms clasped around herself.

“Sora,” she said after a long moment. “When did you hear me say that? In what context?”

He paused, his shoulder resting against the stone wall. “You were talking to Selphie,” he said, “at the beach right after I came back.”

Kairi could have kicked herself.

Sora barreled on ahead, his words just pouring out along with the rain. “You said you wanted someone with perfect skin. That’s never going to be me. I already asked Donald. There’s nothing I can do to heal these anymore. I’m stuck with them. So, you don’t have to pretend for my sake.”

Kairi approached him cautiously, venturing out a hand to touch him.

He jerked away, taking several steps backwards. Any further from her and he would be out in the storm.

“Sora,” she said slowly, confused beyond measure. “What do you mean I don’t have to pretend?”

Thunder crashed, deafening them for a moment.

Sora’s blue eyes darted, but he couldn’t escape. The storm was too fierce. Trapped, he was forced to stop and finally admitted, “You don’t have to pretend you aren’t disgusted by me.”

Kairi felt as though she had been punched. She couldn’t breathe and her chest tightened with horror. “Sora, I’m not—”

He pinned her in place with his gaze. “I already heard you,” he said sharply. “You can’t lie to me.”

Kairi froze. In all the things she had been through, feeling the Heartless clutching at her heart, jumping into the fray of battle without any training in the World That Never Was, she had never felt like this—completely and totally helpless. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to break through to Sora. She didn’t even know if she could—all because of a stupid offhand comment about what type of guy she liked to Selphie.

Sora pulled at the collar of his t-shirt, sucking in little shuddering breaths. His tanned face was pale. “I need to get out of here,” he whispered. “I can’t stay.” He began to pace again, continuously lingering at the mouth of the cavern. The sky was nearly black, the rain was slashing down in sheets, and the palms thrashed in the ferocious gales. Sora looked about to bolt into it regardless.

“Don’t go out in the storm,” Kairi pleaded. “It isn’t safe.”

He glanced at her, nodded, and walked away again. Finally, he sank down in the corner and drew his legs against his chest. He looked so young, Kairi thought, and his eyes were so expressive. She wanted so badly to comfort him, to reassure him, but she couldn’t think of anything else to say. She sat down some ways from him, shivering in the chill of the cavern. Outside, the storm continued for what felt like years.

However, it must have only been an hour. Tropical storms were often brief. Once the storm broke, Sora beckoned her to follow him wordlessly. Kairi trailed him outside and took in all the fallen fronds and the debris washed across the beach. It looked like a hurricane had been through and their boat was gone along with the picnic basket. Sora didn’t say anything.

At the edge of the waves, he used a blizzard spell to create a sheet of ice. He stepped carefully on to it and offered his hand to steady her as she stepped on behind him. Kairi knelt down so she wouldn’t slide off and watched as Sora fashioned an oar out of ice. He began to paddle. The chill seeped into her legs, numbing them. She wished the cold would reach her heart and take away the throbbing pain. She tried to think of something to say—anything—to make Sora understand her feelings, but nothing came to her.

He had heard those words from her mouth and there was no denying that.

Paddling was much slower than rowing, but Sora didn’t complain. In fact, he focused on the challenge. He didn’t once turn to look at her nor did he speak. She watched the muscles in his back move beneath his shirt, imagining that she could see the lines of his many scars beneath the cotton. He carefully beached the sheet of ice on Destiny Island’s mainland and helped Kairi onto the littered sand. He stayed long enough to be sure she was safe and then took off running.

Kairi screamed his name, but he didn’t even look back. Her legs were too numb to chase him.

…

Kairi’s attempts to text and call Sora over the remaining weekend went unanswered. She went to his house, but his mother said that he had gone to the beach to help with the cleanup from the storm. Kairi walked for hours and asked everyone she met if they had seen Sora, but wasn’t able to find him. Though Tidus and Wakka had seen him, Sora always seemed to be one step ahead of Kairi’s pursuit.

She didn’t contact Riku—she wasn’t sure what she would say to him anyway.

On Monday morning, Sora didn’t meet her and Riku to walk to school, though they waited for him almost to the point that they were going to be late. Sora hadn’t responded to any of Riku’s texts either. Finally, Kairi and Riku gave in and set off without him. The walk was somber, too quiet, without Sora.

“What happened this weekend?” Riku asked tentatively.

Kairi smiled at him, a knee-jerk reaction that gave her something to hide behind. “Well, I’ve been helping with the cleanup from the storm. There was a lot of damage to the beach and the play island.”

Riku stared at her and Kairi felt the gaping space where Sora should have been. Riku’s green eyes were deep and she wondered how much he already knew as he struggled to get the question he really wanted to ask out between them. Finally, he asked, “And… how was your time with Sora? On the play island?”

Kairi knew her face gave her away. “It was… fine. We… talked.”

“Talked?” Riku repeated. “About what?”

“Oh, this and that.” She knew she wasn’t fooling Riku, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him the truth. How could she have been so stupid—to say something like that while Sora could hear, to not even notice that he had bandaged the scar on his arm right after she’d mentioned it, to believe the bald-faced lie he had told even for a moment to spare her feelings? Now that she knew what had been troubling him, she had no idea how she could have missed the signs.

They arrived at the school and waited at the gates until the bell rang. There was no sign of Sora on the grounds nor in their shared first period class. Kairi kept her eyes peeled for him in the hallways, wondering if he was only avoiding her, but Riku hadn’t seen him either. Soon, it became clear that Sora wasn’t in school at all.

It was just shy of lunchtime when Kairi gave into the little voice in the back of her head. She approached Riku and his face was a mirror of how she felt. Relief clawed up inside her, mixing with the guilt and the worry.

“What happened this weekend?” Riku asked again.

“Riku,” she began and her voice clogged. She sucked in a gasping breath.

“What happened with Sora?” Riku asked. “What did he tell you?”

Tears swelled in Kairi’s eyes and she strangled a sob that tried to tear from her.

In an instant, Riku snatched her hand and towed her through the hallways. He pushed open a side door and they spilled outside together.

Kairi gasped in lungfuls of fresh air, clutching Riku’s hand. “Riku, he—it’s—I just…” She collapsed and told him everything. She told him Sora’s well-rehearsed story, the storm, the lightning, the scars, their argument, and the way Sora had fled from her afterwards. She hadn’t been able to contact him since and he had ignored Riku as well, probably assuming that Kairi had gone right to Riku afterwards.

Riku hissed out a breath between clenched teeth. He raked a hand through his silver hair. He wanted to pace, but Kairi’s grip on his hand stayed him.

“Riku, I… I’m so sorry,” Kairi cried. She held his hand so tightly that her fingers ached with the pressure. “I didn’t know. If I’d known, I never would have…”

“It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known.” Riku forced himself to stand and face her. Sora was their friend and he loved Kairi. All they had to do was talk to him and Riku was certain they could sort all this out. “You said you tried his house already?” he asked finally.

Kairi nodded. “His mom said he was out, but I couldn’t find him on the island.”

With the magic at Sora’s disposal, Riku knew they wouldn’t find Sora unless he wanted to be found. Besides that, Sora knew all the best hiding places on the whole island. Riku gnawed his lip, thinking of their next step.

“What can we do?” she whispered.

Kairi voiced the tiny thought—the niggling doubt—growing in Riku’s mind. What could they do?

Riku’s lack of answer chipped away at whatever fragile control was still holding her together.

All at once, emotion overwhelmed Kairi. She tore away from Riku and stood with her back to him, arms wrapping around her narrow shoulders and holding tight as she burst into tears. She sobbed raggedly as though her heart had broken, gulping and gasping, wailing into the breeze.

Riku swathed her quickly in his arms, squeezing her tightly until she wrapped her arms around him in turn. They stood there, locked in a tangle of concern, and Riku couldn’t help but think of how he had just held Sora this same way. They felt similar, both small enough to fit beneath his chin. Yet as he ran his hands over Kairi’s back in an attempt to comfort her, he felt her smooth blouse and unblemished skin. He thought of how Sora had felt in his arms, how he had been able to feel Sora’s scars lurking beneath his clothes.

After a small eternity, Kairi drew away and sniffled. Her face was red and blotchy, tear-stained. “What can we do, Riku?” she asked again.

He still didn’t have an answer.

XXX

Question, comments, concerns? 


	4. Communications

I wrote this before Kingdom Heart 3 finally released so gummiphone wasn't a word I was ready to use.

XXX

Sora stared at the communicator cradled in his palms. It was little more high-tech than he was used to, just like the gummi ship, but King Mickey had insisted he keep it—just in case. Hidden in a little cove of shaded palms and blooming hibiscuses where no one would look for him, Sora warred with himself for a long time. He knew Mickey had given him the communicator in case of emergencies like Heartless or Nobodies. It wasn’t to be used just because he was lonely or wanted to get off world, but… Sora tightened his fingers around the small device. His heart was hammering against his ribs, his skin was slick with sweat, and he felt nauseous.

He wanted out—he needed out.

After everything he had done to save countless worlds, all he had wanted was to come home, but… it wasn’t what he had expected. It was almost like he had outgrown his home, his bed, his parents, his friends. Everything about him was either too much or too little.

His mother didn’t seem to know what to say to him anymore. He knew how she felt. How could he worry about his homework or chores when he had done so many dangerous things? Riku wanted to help, but how could he? As terrible as the darkness was, it had protected him where the light had only allowed Sora to be hurt. Kairi couldn’t even stand to look at him. Sora just couldn’t take anymore.

Steeling himself for the scolding he was going to earn from Mickey but almost looking forward to it all the same, Sora pressed the connection to life. The device beeped and hummed in his hands like a miniature ship. Then, the small screen lit up with a video feed of Donald’s cheerful face.

“Sora?” Donald chirped.

The relief at hearing Donald’s voice nearly brought Sora to tears. He hoped that Donald couldn’t tell.

“Something wrong?” Donald continued, trying to peer around Sora. “We haven’t had any sightings of Heartless or Nobodies here.”

“No,” Sora forced out. His voice crumbled a little more with every word, but he fought to keep it level as Donald scrutinized him for signs of trouble. “It’s not that,” he explained. “It’s nothing like that.”

Donald paused, his expression confounded and then edging towards into a mixture of concerned and annoyed. “Sora? Why’d you call if there isn’t a problem? The king told you this was for emergencies only.”

Abruptly, this seemed like not such a great idea. Donald and Goofy had lives that they were probably happy to be back to. They had families and children that they had left behind when they adventured with Sora. Queen Minnie had been missing Mickey for years and years while he tried to secure the fate of the worlds. Now that it was over, being home was probably a welcome relief for them. The last thing they needed was Sora trampling through their hard-earned happiness with his petty problems.

Sora backpedaled hastily, his throat tightening. “Never mind,” he said quickly. “It’s nothing. I just wanted to check in.” A lump welled there, making it difficult to feign nonchalance, and he forced out, “I’ll let you go.”

“Sora,” Donald protested. “Sora, wait—”

“Let me have it, Donald,” came Goofy’s voice in the background.

Sora froze, his knuckles whitening around the communicator. His heart constricted. He had been so happy to be home, so grateful to be back with Riku and Kairi, that he hadn’t allowed himself to think about Donald and Goofy. Hearing their voices, seeing their faces, nearly crippled him with emotion. He had been with them for so long, through thick and thin, through betrayal and darkness, through the light and all the happiness along the way. He missed them so much.

Goofy appeared in the small screen. “Hiya, Sora,” he said.

Sora swallowed until he felt that his voice would come out level. Then, he said, “Hi Goofy.”

Goofy regarded him for a moment, peering at Sora through the little screen. Then, without preamble, he said, “I’ll come pick you up.”

Sora’s ribs squeezed his lungs, stealing his breath. “You don’t have to—”

“Nonsense. Donald and I miss you,” Goofy continued. “Besides, I’m sure the king would like to see you too.”

Sora wet his lips, fighting the tears that threatened to overflow. “Thanks,” was all he was able to say.

“Stay put now,” Donald said in the background. “We’re on our way.”

“We’ll warp right over,” Goofy continued. “Give us twenty minutes.”

Sora nodded. He couldn’t trust himself to speak.

The screen went dark.

Sora almost burst into tears right then and there, relieved and grateful to his friends beyond words, but he swallowed the stone building in his chest. Instead, he forced himself to leave the little cove. He ran along the beach, making his way home. His mother had already left for work and he had the house to himself. He dressed in his armor and it felt good to put it on again, like he was putting up a barrier between himself and the rest of the world. He unwound the bandage from his arm because Donald and Goofy had been there when he had gotten it and wouldn’t mind if it was exposed.

Then, he sat down at his desk and pulled out a sheaf of thick paper. Pen poised above the creamy page, he stiffened. What could he say to his mother, to Riku, to Kairi? They would never understand why he couldn’t stay, why he had to leave, why he couldn’t stand to feel so worthless after everything he had done to save them all.

But he couldn’t just leave without saying a word. He didn’t want them to worry. Besides, he wished they could understand…

Knowing that time was of the essence, Sora didn’t hesitate any longer. He quickly wrote a letter for his mother, explaining that he was needed to save the world again and that he would come back when it was safe. He figured it would be easier for her to think that her boy was a hero, called back to duty, rather than the kind of coward who couldn’t stand to be disliked by a girl.

To Riku, he explained that it had all been worth it, that he wouldn’t trade a single scar if it meant losing Riku or Kairi or the worlds to the dark. He wanted to be sure Riku wouldn’t blame himself for how this had played out. He already knew Riku shouldered far too much blame, even for things that were outside his control.

When it came time to write to Kairi, he stared at the page for a long time with the pen shaking slightly in his hand. He wanted to tell her that his scars were a mark of valor, that he couldn’t have saved everyone if he hadn’t been hurt. He had one singular scar in the middle of his chest that had saved her specifically, but he knew she already understood that. It wasn’t about the scars, not really. It was just a matter of her personal taste and he wanted her to have whatever she wanted.

Sora wished he had time to say everything he wanted to Kairi. Instead, he penned a simple note.

He sealed each explanation in an envelope and wrote each name on the front. He carried them downstairs with him and set them out on the kitchen table. Certainly, Riku and Kairi would come to his house after he didn’t show up at school. They were probably both worried, but Sora couldn’t fix their concerns. He hoped his mother would understand. He hoped she didn’t cry.

Taking a final look at his childhood home, Sora shut the door behind himself and stepped out into the sunshine. He breathed deep and took off running towards the beach where he knew Donald and Goofy would land to look for him. He wanted to meet them there. He didn’t want them to have a chance to talk to Riku and Kairi or vice versa. He just wanted to get out.

Sora stood at the edge of the surf, watching the horizon for the gummi ship for nearly five minutes. Then, over the ocean, he saw a flare of light. He couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face as he watched the gummi ship approach. It landed lightly, kicking up stinging sand in bursts.

Sora surged up to the door and flung it open with a hiss of compressed air. He launched himself inside and collided hard with Goofy. Immediately, Goofy swathed Sora tight in his arms, squeezing him almost painfully. Donald jumped onto Sora’s back, wrapping his feathery arms around them both. Sora started laughing, tears burning in the corners of his eyes.

“I missed you guys,” Sora said and his voice cracked with unshed tears. “I missed you so much.”

Goofy cuddled Sora’s head under his chin, his gloved hands mapping a path along Sora’s back soothingly. “We missed you too,” he said.

Donald made a little grumbling noise, revealing that he had missed Sora just as much but wouldn’t admit it yet.

Though Sora wanted to stay buried in their embrace a little longer, he forced himself to draw away. “Let’s go,” he said as cheerfully as he could. “I’m excited to see the Disney Castle again.”

“We’ve cleaned it up since the attacks,” Goofy told him. “And the king is looking forward to seeing you without the whole world falling apart around our ears.”

A broad smile broke across Sora’s face. “Can I drive?” he asked cheekily.

“No!” Donald shouted.

…

Riku and Kairi walked directly to Sora’s house after school. However, when Riku opened the door with the spare key, he immediately knew something was wrong. The house was cool and quiet, but beyond that it felt empty. He rushed upstairs, crashing open the door to Sora’s bedroom. The bed was neatly-made, all the clothes were put away, his school supplies lay out on his desk in piles, and the closet door was shut. There was no sign of Sora.

“No,” Riku breathed.

He wrenched open the closet door, uncertain of what he was looking for, but slowly realized that Sora’s armor and boots were gone. There was no way to tell if he had taken his favored weapon as the Keyblade was always with him. However, Riku already knew in his heart of hearts that Sora was gone.

Riku crashed back downstairs and found Kairi standing at the kitchen table, tears dripping down her cheeks in silence. In her hands, she clutched a shaking white page.

“What is that?” Riku demanded. His heart jumped in his chest, banging against his bones. A suicide note, his worried mind insisted. No, he told himself, Sora wasn’t like that. He wouldn’t do that.

“There’s one for you,” Kairi said hollowly. She folded her own letter up and placed it back into the envelope, crushing the paper to her chest.

Riku picked up the envelope from the table, tore it open, and tried to read it, but his hands were shaking too badly. The words wobbled and blurred before his eyes. He huffed hard, trying to steady his hands, trying to read what Sora had written. Why had Sora gone? Where had he gone? When would he come back?

“Riku,” Kairi murmured. She closed her cool fingers over his wrists, steadying his shaking hands, and pulled the letter away.

Riku opened his mouth to protest, but only a sob came out. He hadn’t realized that he was crying.

“Sora’s gone,” Kairi whispered.

Riku couldn’t even speak. He shook his head, silvery hair sticking to his cheeks.

“He didn’t say where,” Kairi continued, “or if he’s coming back.”

“He has to come back,” Riku cried out. “He has to.”

Now it was Kairi’s turn to wrap her arms around Riku and hold him tightly as he cried. He was tall and broad, but he felt small in her arms. She couldn’t help but think of how he had tried to save her in all the wrong ways, how he had given himself to the dark, how he had been lost for so long, how he had fought his way back to the light, how Sora was his light. Riku squeezed her too tightly, his fingers digging into her back. His tears were hot on the side of her neck.

“Sora has to come back,” Riku sobbed. “He has to.”

Kairi cut her eyes to the letter lying out on the table for Sora’s mother. She felt sick to her stomach. Sora had sacrificed everything to save the worlds, to save Riku, to save her. He was so good and sweet, so honest, so open. She had never been able to see that he was suffering. She hadn’t been able to help him. She had made it all so much worse, made him feel unwanted and revolting, made him feel that he had to leave.

Kairi knew that Sora had written words of reassurance to Riku because he knew Riku would blame himself.

Neither of them would ever blame her, even if it was entirely her fault.

…

Disney Castle was as Sora remembered it—bright and colorful with hedges sculpted into elaborate shapes, the spires twisting up into the clear blue sky, music playing over hidden speakers all over the castle. Without the Heartless threatening every corner, Sora finally got a chance to appreciate it and explore, including the lineage of mouse-king portraits that adorned the walls outside the throne room. Donald and Goofy showed him everything from the kitchens to the hallway outside the king’s bedroom to the armory. He wandered the halls with them until his feet ached and his legs were sore. Sora delighted in everything like the child he still was.

For the first time, Donald tasted those words. Sora was so young, so very young, and there was so much weight on his shoulders. He had accomplished so much, but he was still just a boy, struggling to find his way and his place in the endless worlds. At least, while they were all together, Sora had had Donald and Goofy. Now… Donald wondered who Sora had.

Goofy nudged Donald, snapping the mage back to attention.

“What?” Donald nearly-shouted.

“You’re spacing out, Donald.”

“Am not,” Donald said testily.

“What are you thinking about?” Goofy asked.

Donald refused to tell his friend, plodding along behind their excited guest.

“Sora’s younger than Max,” Goofy said suddenly.

Donald stopped dead.

Goofy kept walking, unwilling to leave Sora alone when something was clearly bothering him.

Donald hastened to catch up. “What do you think happened?” he asked Goofy lowly.

Goofy shrugged. “Gawrsh, I just don’t know,” he murmured. “I thought Sora would be happy to be home.”

“He looked really busted up when he called,” Donald remarked.

“I know,” Goofy said. “That’s why I said we’d come get him.” Goofy stared at Sora’s back, at his narrow shoulders under his armored jacket, at his thin ankles and wrists, at the scar standing out on his forearm. “If it was Max, I’d want someone to pick him up.”

Donald nodded in agreement.

Together, they traipsed after Sora until he had exhausted himself. Sora sank onto a stone bench between two beautiful rosebushes, cupping a blossom between his palms and breathing the perfume deeply. Donald dropped down on one side of him and Goofy took the other. They sat for a little while, looking up at the drifting clouds. Sora kept looking over at them, beaming anytime their eyes met, but there was a ghost behind his gaze.

“Hungry?” Donald offered after a while.

Sora grinned and jumped back to his feet with renewed bounce. “Starving.”

“Come on,” Goofy said, walking close on Sora’s left. “Let’s go back to the kitchen.”

“I remember the way,” Sora announced, pleased with himself.

“Lead on,” Goofy said with a laugh.

Again, he and Donald followed. The kitchen was a hubbub of activity as the many chefs and culinary staff prepared meals for the entire castle. There were soldiers, advisers, clerks, and royalty to feed. Sora was about to barrel in and make a right mess of the delicate assemblage of busy cooks when Mickey intercepted him.

“Sora,” the mouse king said cheerily. “I heard through the grapevine that you were here.”

Sora shrank a little. “Hi King Mickey,” he said, wondering if he was going to get scolded for using the communicator for a non-emergency and then showing up without cause. What about the world order?

Mickey, however, didn’t complain. “Don’t call me King,” he said. “Just Mickey is fine.”

Sora made a startled noise.

“Now, away from the kitchen,” Mickey said and steered Sora from the great swinging door by the hand. “They’ll bring dinner out to us in the dining room. So, how is everything on Destiny Islands?”

Sora floundered and fumbled.

“That bad, huh?” Mickey remarked without judgment.

Sora visibly deflated, but he held onto the sham. “No, things are… fine.”

Regardless, Mickey didn’t press Sora.

Goofy watched him and Donald just stared. They had never seen Sora at a loss for words, especially when Sora’s home or friends were concerned. Something must have really been bothering him. Donald thought back to the call he had had with Sora not long after his return. Sora had asked if it was possible to heal his scars. After Donald has told him, ‘No,’ he had hung up quickly.

Mickey led him into the dining room where several people were already waiting. He dropped a kiss on Minnie’s cheek and took his place at the head of the table, gesturing for Sora to sit beside him. Abruptly, Sora felt like an intruder, especially when Goofy circled the table and hugged a surly young man. Donald nuzzled against his girlfriend, exchanging a few words with surprising quietness. They were all home safe and happy with their families and loved ones and yet here was Sora, upset to be home and wishing for escape like a little child.

“Please, Sora,” Minnie said sweetly. “Sit. Eat with us. Tell us about the islands. I’ve never been off world before.” She looked so earnest that Sora couldn’t deny her.

Sora sank down beside Mickey, finding Goofy to his left, Minnie across from him, with Donald and Daisy further down. Goofy’s son, Max, sat on the other side of Goofy, looking at Sora with open curiosity. He swallowed, but forced himself to let his awkwardness melt away. It wasn’t as though he didn’t know these people well. They accepted him for all that he was or was not.

Slowly, Sora told Minnie all the best things about Destiny Island as trays of delicious food were brought in and set in the middle of the table. Everyone served themselves family style, loading plates with all manner of things Sora didn’t even have names for. Goofy kept leaning over, placing new things on his plate, and insisting he try them. Sora would have been surprised had Goofy not been doing something similar to Max. He smiled into his plate, feeling warm all the way through his chest for the first time in weeks.

Dinner stretched into dessert.

Again, Sora tasted everything Goofy offered and told tales of his life back home. He was careful to choose his words, telling them about school and home without giving away that he had been so desperate to get away that he had called Goofy and Donald. The scar on his arm, the scars on his back and shoulders and chest and thighs, itched. He tried not to draw attention to them.

After the dessert dishes were cleared away, Mickey excused himself and asked for Donald and Goofy to accompany him.

Left alone with Minnie, Daisy, and Max, Sora worked hard to swallow the stone in his throat. Without Donald and Goofy, he felt awkward again. He stirred his tea too noisily, hastily put his spoon down, and sipped it.

Minnie and Daisy exchanged a quiet conversation, daintily enjoying their tea.

However, Max was still focused on Sora. It was always hard to judge the ages of people like Goofy, Donald, and Mickey, but Sora guessed that Max was around his age. Desperate not to stare at any one thing for too long, Sora’s eyes met Max’s and he didn’t know what to say. He took in a scalding mouthful of tea and sputtered.

“So,” Max began after Sora finished coughing and put the cup aside. “Can I see the Keyblade? My dad said it wasn’t appropriate to ask the king.”

Surprised by the request, Sora merely nodded. He stretched out his hand and summoned the blade easily. He felt as though he had been punched, however, when he realized that it had taken the form of Oathkeeper, the symbol of his devotion to Kairi. She was still on his mind, in his heart, eating away at him.

“Wow,” Max said in awe. Then, as the moment stretched on, he added, “It’s kind of girly. I expected it to be more…”

Sora’s lips pinched with a little smile as he willed it to transform into Oblivion. The dark shape and heavy teeth definitely earned the wow factor Max had been expecting.

“Can I touch it?” Max asked, looking a little nervous.

Sora offered the hilt to him. “Don’t be surprised if it suddenly disappears on you. It’s connected to me.”

Max took the weapon hesitantly, weighing it in his hands. He was still seated at the table beside Sora and couldn’t swing it, but he said, “Wow, it’s heavier than I expected.”

“Really?” Sora asked. In his hands, the Keyblade was as light as a feather.

“Yeah,” Max continued. “You sound surprised. It’s not heavy for you?”

“Not at all,” Sora told him. “Then again, it’s connected to me. I can throw it and it comes right back to my hand.”

“Cool,” Max said eagerly. “Will you show me?”

Sora took the Keyblade and tossed it over his shoulder carelessly. It whirled through the dining room, startling an unladylike squawk out of Daisy, and returned to Sora’s hand with a jangle. Sora let it twist around his fingers in a light spin and then handed it back to Max.

“Awesome,” Max said, running his fingers along the teeth and the shaft. “It’s so cool. I heard that wielding a Keyblade is a rare trait that has to be passed on. How’d you get one?”

Sora’s chest tightened.

Considering Max was Goofy’s son, he was surprisingly perceptive and read the emotion on Sora’s face easily. “Sorry, man,” he said. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Sora smiled uneasily. “Thanks,” he murmured.

Max hefted the Keyblade in front of him, studying it from all angles. “You know, it almost feels like it’s… alive.”

“It kind of is,” Sora said. “It’s connected to my heart.”

Abruptly, the Keyblade winked from Max’s grasp in a puff of sparks and reappeared in Sora’s hand. “Whoa,” Max said. “Even though you warned me, I still wasn’t expecting it.”

Sora stared at the Keyblade, watching as little patches of the dark Oblivion began to give way to the white of Oathkeeper again. He tucked the Keyblade away.

“So, your heart must be pretty strong, huh?” Max remarked.

“Apparently,” Sora said softly.

Max studied him, looking like he wanted to say or ask something more.

However, Mickey, Donald, and Goofy returned to the dining room at that moment. Minnie and Daisy pushed their chairs away from the table and rose to their feet. Sora scrambled to follow suit and Max walked over to his father. Uncertain, Sora hung back. Dinner and dessert were both over. He had no more reason to stay. There was no excuse not to go home to Destiny Island. His heart knocked painfully against his ribs. He didn’t want to go back. He wasn’t ready.

“Sora,” Minnie said sweetly, breaking him out of his thoughts. “Would you like to spend the night? Mickey is going to make some rounds on the worlds tomorrow to check on everyone.”

“I’d like it if you accompanied me,” Mickey added with a smile.

“Or we could pick you up from Destiny Island in the morning?” Goofy offered.

Sora hastened to answer. “No, I don’t want to make you fly all the way back. I’d love to stay,” he said quickly, “and I’d love to check on all the worlds with you, Mickey.” Honestly, Sora couldn’t have hoped for a better arrangement of circumstances. If he was lucky, by the time Mickey finished his rounds on the worlds, Sora would have thought of somewhere else to go and something else to do with himself. He just needed more time.

“Excellent,” Mickey said. “Goofy can show you to a guest room and we’ll leave right after breakfast tomorrow.”

Sora grinned.

Goofy beckoned him to follow and Sora fell into step beside Max. The trio headed upstairs through a winding staircase.

“This’ll be your room,” Goofy said and opened a large door. Inside was the most elaborate suite Sora had ever laid eyes on. It was definitely something befitting royalty.

Doubts reared up in Sora’s head. “Oh, no,” he protested. “This is too much. I don’t need—”

Goofy studied Sora for a brief moment. Then, he laid a warm gloved hand on Sora’s arm, right over his blistered burn scar. “You’re worth it,” he said simply.

Sora’s mind derailed. He stared at Goofy, stricken.

Goofy smiled and embraced Sora tightly. “I’ll see you in the morning. Come on, Max.”

Max waved and followed his father.

Sora was left standing at the entrance to the grand room, his heart hammering and his throat dry. Without a choice, he stepped inside and closed the door gently. Sora sat delicately on the bed, feeling the mattress sink beneath his weight. The sheets were fresh, the blankets plush, and the pillows fluffed to perfection. He stepped away, hands sweating with emotion. He crossed to the window and looked out at the disk of glowing moon hanging against the dark. How was it that he had seen the moon from so many different worlds yet it never ceased to somehow comfort him, even if it didn’t look like what he expected?

Breathing out shakily, Sora rested his forehead on the cool glass. He stripped out of his armor and heavy boots. Shedding his elaborate pants and undershirt, he crawled into the bed in only his underwear. It felt like it had been so long since he had allowed himself even that freedom. He hadn’t wanted his mother to walk in on him and see all his scars after all. Exhausted, his heart frayed and aching, Sora shut his eyes. He slept peacefully until morning when Goofy came to fetch him. Though Goofy’s eyes lingered on the many scars adorning his body, Sora knew it was nothing Goofy hadn’t seen before. He dressed quickly regardless and joined the king on his patrol.

…

A day stretched into a week.

A week became a month.

People began to whisper about Sora in school—

He was missing again. There was no word on when he’d be back. Maybe he’d dropped out. He’d always been a little weird. Maybe he was dead. Something must have been up with him. I mean, I saw him once in the locker room with his shirt off and he looked like someone beat the hell out of him. Maybe he someone had killed him.

Kairi did her best to ignore the rumors, but it was harder for Riku. He couldn’t bear to hear people whisper lies and conjectures about Sora. He was in the principal’s office or at the nurse’s at least twice each day for starting fights or shouting at someone who voiced their opinion about Sora. Only his exemplary grades kept him from being expelled.

For her part, Kairi didn’t think she had a right to defend Sora. She was the reason he had left, after all. She carried his letter of farewell in her backpack, creased and worn from being read so many times. She took it out and reread it nearly every day, kicking herself for her heartlessness and foolishness.

At their usual shaded picnic table, Riku threw himself down during lunch. His lip was split, his knuckles were battered, and he looked exhausted. His pale hair hung in lank strips around his face, making him look older. Riku tore open his lunch and then stared down at it without appearing to see anything.

Kairi wet her napkin and patted it along the bloody ridge of his knuckles.

Riku hissed in pain, turning his attention to her. “That hurts,” he snapped.

“Are you okay?” Kairi asked, pressing her fingertips to the sluggishly-bleeding gash on his hand.

“No,” he said plainly. “It’s been over a month. Sora still isn’t back. He hasn’t even reached out. He’s just gone.”

Kairi silently stared at Riku’s battered knuckles. It was so much like when they had both been lost—no contact, no reassurance, nothing—only then Sora had been the one to push forward blindly, hoping against hope that he would find his friends and bring them back. Kairi didn’t have such an endless font of belief in her and neither did Riku. If anything, Riku was burning out faster. The guilt was eating him up from the inside out. Sora hadn’t contacted them, just as Riku had never reached out to Sora. In fact, Riku had hidden himself from Sora, even though he knew Sora was turning world after world upside-down in search of him.

“You’ve got to stop fighting with people like this,” Kairi said to Riku.

He snatched the napkin away from her, mopping at the knuckles on his other hand. “I can’t,” he said.

Kairi regarded him.

“You hear what they’re saying about Sora,” Riku continued, “that he’s dead, that his mom beat him and he ran away, that he dropped out. None of that is true.”

“I know that,” Kairi said. “But people are always going to talk about things they don’t understand.”

Riku stared at his bloody knuckles and then licked the split in his lip. “This sucks.”

Kairi nodded. Tears brimmed in her eyes, but she blinked them away and picked at her lunch.

“I’m going to leave too,” Riku said suddenly.

Kairi’s head snapped up, shock stealing her breath. “Riku—”

“Sora looked for me until he found me,” Riku insisted. “I’m going to do the same.” He pushed away from the table and then stood there, looking down at Kairi with his eyes like deep jade. “You’re welcome to come with me, Kairi, but I’m not going to come back until I find him.”

Kairi stared at him, her breath short and tight in her chest. She couldn’t speak.

“Think about it,” Riku said softly. “The school year ends in another week. Once it’s over, I’m leaving. I’m going to find Sora.”

Kairi watched him walk away. Unbidden, she looked at the empty place at the table where Sora usually sat. His absence was a hollow place inside her chest, rattling when she breathed, aching at all hours of the day and night. She missed him, she missed him so much. Maybe she should go with Riku to look for Sora. Then again, she thought that Sora had made it clear that he didn’t want to see either of them.

XXX

Questions, comments, concerns? 


	5. Searching: Part I

I envisioned Sora as having a single mother, Riku having a single father, and Kairi having both but being adopted.

XXX

The final week of school passed quickly. Riku put what everyone was saying about Sora and about him out of his mind. He focused on his final exams and passed with flying colors. Before he knew it, Saturday had dawned and he had his duffel bag packed. He was ready to go and no one was going to stop him from searching for Sora. Sora wouldn’t—and indeed hadn’t—let anything stop him from searching for his friends.

Riku’s father was sitting at the breakfast table, sipping coffee. He looked surprised to see Riku awake so early. “Good morning,” he greeted.

“I have to go,” Riku said without preamble.

His father’s easy smile faltered. “Go where?”

“After Sora,” Riku said.

His father’s expression twisted, at war between pride and concern. “You shouldn’t. You just got home. I’m sure Sora will come back on his own.”

Riku shook his head. “I waited too long already. I have to go.”

“Riku—”

“Sora’s brave. He’s so brave, but stupid. He always tries to do everything alone so no one else gets hurt,” Riku told his father firmly. “And I have to go after him. I’ll be back, but I don’t know when. You can’t stop me. Even if you tried, you wouldn’t be able to stop me now. I’m going after Sora.”

His father’s face reddened. “If you go after that boy, there might not be a place for you when you come back,” he said angrily.

Riku pushed away from the table, his eyes shut against the image of his father’s red angry face, and shouldered his pack. “That’s fine,” he said. Honestly, it was. Riku didn’t care if he didn’t have a home to come back to. Sora was his home. As long as he brought Sora back, as long as he got to see Sora's smile and hear Sora’s laugh, nothing else mattered. To his father, as he left, he said simply, “I love you.”

Riku’s father followed him to the door, silent in his frustration. Helpless, angry and hurt, he watched Riku go. Then, just before Riku disappeared around the bend of the block, he shouted, “I love you too, son!”

Hearing the words echo, Riku smiled to himself.

Riku slogged through the sand to where his boat was waiting. He already had a plan. He was going to row out to the play island, go to the secret place, and use his connections to travel through the dark to another world. It wasn’t the safest way to travel, but it was something he had at his disposal. He could only hope that he would actually be able to find Sora in the countless worlds that existed.

Much to his surprise, Kairi was already waiting on the dock for him. She sat at the edge, her legs hanging down towards the water, staring out at the undulating sea. She looked small and young, just like Sora. Beside her, she had a small backpack and a picnic hamper. She didn’t react as he approached, even though she certainly heard his heavy footfalls on the boards. Riku stood behind her for a long moment, staring out at the ocean.

“Ready?” she asked finally.

“Yeah. You?”

“I guess so,” she said and sniffled.

Riku gave her time to gather herself, wondering how her parting from her adoptive parents had gone. Since Kairi had never really been away from the islands before, was it easier or harder for them to let her go?

After a brief moment, Kairi got to her feet and turned her face into the crisp breeze coming off the ocean. Riku couldn’t tell if she had been crying or not. Wordlessly, she shrugged into her pack and hefted the picnic hamper with both hands. Riku helped her load the basket and then held her hand as she stepped shakily into the boat.

Riku didn’t let her take an oar and rowed quickly to the play island himself. He tied the boat off at the small dock, took the picnic hamper, and carried it across the soft sand to the entrance to the secret place. He shouldered through the overgrown foliage and stepped into the cool cavern, breathing deep. Their scribbles and dreams adorned the walls. There was Sora’s love for Kairi and her answer, the map young Riku had drawn of what he thought the world would look like once they set sail, the wild shapes that Sora had drawn. The door to the other worlds was quiet, but the sight of it still sent a shudder through Riku. He could still feel the clutching dark and see Sora’s desperate expression as he reached for Riku’s hand.

“What now?” Kairi asked. Her voice echoed eerily against the walls.

Riku stretched out his hand and breathed out slowly. He called to the dark and it surged to answer, hungry as ever for him. The portal materialized and the strange howl of the darkness between worlds filled the small cavern. From the corner of his eye, he saw goosebumps rise on Kairi’s arms. He was about to tell her that she didn’t have to come, that he would go after Sora alone, that he would bring Sora back to her, when she stepped forward.

“Let’s go,” she said to Riku.

With a curt nod, he stepped into the dark after her and let the portal close behind them. The winding roads between worlds were long and strange, twisting and spiraling. When the worlds had been devoured, bits and pieces of them had been littered through the realm of darkness. Now that Sora had restored them, everything was barren. Riku would have thought it was desert-like if not for the cold and the absence of sunlight.

Kairi walked beside him, her steps unwavering. Riku had hoped that she would have been able to sense Sora from the darkness, but she said nothing even after they had walked for half an hour. She didn't complain or offer any insight to Sora’s location. She just walked beside Riku, breath coming in little puffs. She looked so lost, as lost as Riku felt inside.

Riku didn’t know where they should start looking if Kairi didn’t have a suggestion. There were so many worlds out there and Sora had friends in all of them. He would have thought Sora had gone to Disney Castle, but he expected that King Mickey would have contacted them if Sora had arrived there. Instead, Riku opened a portal to Radiant Garden. It was the most likely place Riku could think for Sora to go and Leon wasn’t the type to tattle.

“Where are we going?” Kairi asked finally as she eyed the open portal.

“I thought we’d start in Radiant Garden,” Riku said. He took the basket and stepped through the portal, landing firmly on the stone streets. “Sora has a lot of friends here.”

Kairi’s voice stuck in her throat. Sora’s friends… people who accepted and loved him, who didn’t judge him, who didn’t behave the way she had—she had screwed up so badly.

“Stop it,” Riku said abruptly.

“What?” Kairi asked.

“You’re blaming yourself,” he said. His voice was sharp. “I can see it all over your face.”

Kairi swallowed hard.

“Even if you are to blame,” Riku told her and it was the closest he had ever come to admitting that it was her fault, even a little bit. He continued quickly, “Sora doesn’t blame you and that’s all that matters. Now, let’s go.”

Together, they walked the cobbled streets until they came to a grand marketplace which was alive with the preparations for some kind of festival. Stalls had been set up, food was cooking, and the people were chattering with excitement. In the center of the riot, a brunette woman in a long pink skirt directed traffic like a lighthouse in the middle of a raging storm. She had smile on her face despite the chaos. Kairi recognized her from Traverse Town, back before Sora had restored the worlds.

“Aerith,” Riku called and hurried over to her.

The woman turned at the sound of her name and her eyes widened. “Riku? What are you doing here?”

Riku and Kairi fought through the crowd and stopped before her.

“Kairi too?” Aerith said sweetly. “How are you?” Then, she sobered, bright eyes scanning the surroundings. “Is something wrong?”

“Kind of,” Riku told her brusquely. “Have you seen Sora?”

Aerith studied Riku for a moment before answering. “Yes,” she said finally. “He was here last week.”

Delight blossomed under Kairi’s ribs.

“I asked if he was coming for the festival, but he said he couldn’t make it,” Aerith continued. “Too bad. He helped me with a lot of the set up for this.”

“Did he say where he was going?” Kairi asked. Her stomach sank even before Aerith shook her head.

“No, sorry.”

“Do you have any way to contact him?” Riku asked instead.

“He has some kind of trans-dimensional communicator with him,” Aerith said thoughtfully. “I saw him using it and then Cid asked about it, but we don't have one and apparently Cid can't make one with the tools we have on hand. Sorry again.”

Kairi fought to swallow the stone in her throat.

Riku clenched his hands into fists.

Aerith led them both aside and asked softly, “What is this about? Sora didn't seem troubled when I saw him, but you two look as though the world is about to end.”

“Sora left Destiny Island over a month ago,” Riku explained. “He didn't say where he was going. We're looking for him.”

Aerith shifted, folding her fingers together pensively. “Sora just left? He didn't say anything?”

Riku hesitated long enough that Aerith would know he was lying.

“He left us letters,” Kairi confessed.

Aerith turned her spring-green gaze to Kairi, studying without malice or judgment. “I expect that he told you his reasons for leaving then,” she remarked.

Kairi nodded shakily.

“It doesn't matter,” Riku interrupted.

For the first time, Aerith looked truly angry. She drew herself to her full height and, though she was shorter than Riku, he shrank from her. “Doesn't matter?” she repeated sharply. “What doesn't matter to you? Sora's feelings? His wants and dreams? His wishes for himself? Tell me, what exactly does not matter?”

Riku looked away, ashamed.

“Please,” Kairi said to Aerith. Tears burned in her eyes. “We… we need to find him.”

Taking in Kairi’s desperation, Aerith allowed, “When I see Sora again, I will tell him that you're looking for him. Whether or not he sees you will be his choice.” Aerith turned away from them, closing the conversation off. Her long braid and skirt swished as she walked away, disappearing into the hubbub of the coming festivities.

Kairi wrapped her arms tightly around her torso, a sob working its way up from her chest.

Riku opened the portal again, ushered her into it, and closed it behind them.

Together, they stood in the darkness. Riku held her tightly, his heart thudding against his ribs with Aerith's words still ringing in his head. Kairi sobbed, clutching him tightly with her cold fingers. She trembled all over as though she was going to break apart. All around them, the realm of darkness was quiet and still, an empty void like the one that howled inside Riku’s heart without Sora’s light to fill it.

“Riku,” she sobbed, “are we doing the right thing? Aerith is right. Sora doesn't want to be found by us.”

Riku didn't answer. He stared out into the darkness, searching for the beacon of light that had always called to him before. However, Sora's heart was barred from him. He saw nothing but the darkness. “Let’s eat something,” he said to Kairi and gently peeled her away. “We’ll start again after that.”

Kairi’s face was pale, her tear-filled eyes burning red. She dried her cheeks and knelt down beside the picnic basket.

Riku spied over her shoulder that she had packed enough food for maybe two days and she had packed three of everything. Clearly, she had expected that they would find Sora quickly and easily. She had never thought that he would be in hiding, protected by his friends, content to never be found by them. Her hope battered against Riku’s chest, wearing him down. He was almost angry at her, but then he supposed she had never really known what their journey was like. She had been safe, her heart protected inside Sora’s and returned to the island when Sora restored the words. She had never struggled, not really.

Riku took the sandwich she offered him and ate to fill the reserves he had depleted transporting them. Though Kairi must have made these with love, with hope, he didn’t even taste it.

Kairi stared at her meal for a long time, silent tears trailing down her face. “Maybe,” she said finally, “maybe we should go home and wait for him.”

“Sora tore the whole world apart looking for both of us,” Riku snapped, unable to help himself. “And you want to give up after just one place?”

“But Aerith—”

“What Aerith said doesn’t matter,” Riku ground out. “I’m going to look for Sora until I find him.”

Kairi finished her sandwich quietly, sobbing occasionally. When she finished, she rummaged through her pack, took out a worn envelope, and read it slowly. Riku recognized Sora’s handwriting, but he couldn’t see what Sora had written to the girl that had rejected and now wanted to abandon him.

Riku ate the third sandwich intended for Sora. When he finished, he got back to his feet and hefted the hamper. “Let’s go.”

Kairi got to her feet and followed, clutching the letter to her chest.

“We’ll try Halloween Town next,” Riku told her. The dark came more easily. “Sora mentioned that he really liked it there.”

…

Two weeks after the festival at Radiant Garden, Sora returned to see Leon and the others. He docked the gummi ship just outside their base of operations and let himself inside. Everything was as he remembered it, but he supposed he hadn't been gone that long. He found that time moved a little differently from world to world, but everyone was always happy to see him whether he had been away for months or mere weeks. King Mickey had made him an ambassador and charged him with making sure everyone was safe. It was exactly what Sora needed and he felt something broken in his chest mend a little more each day. He didn’t have to hide anything anymore. He could be exactly who he was.

Sora wandered the hallways of the once-great castle of Radiant Garden, peeking into offices and barracks in search of a friendly face, but the keep appeared deserted. Sora didn’t let that bother him. After all, Radiant Garden was one of the safest worlds out there. There wasn’t a reason for everyone to be on high-alert in the keep at all times. Maybe he should pop over and see Tron since he had the place to himself.

However, when he stepped into the lab, he found Aerith sitting alone at the console.

“Hey, Aerith,” Sora greeted brightly.

She jolted, startled by his sudden appearance. “Sora!” she said happily and got up from her seat. She swathed him in a tight embrace, nearly knocking him over with her excitement.

Sora squeezed her in return. It was a little lonely traveling without Donald and Goofy though they joined him whenever they had time, so he soaked up her hug. He breathed in the scent of lilies and magic, his hands running over Aerith’s long soft hair in bliss. Her arms were warm, so warm, and he delighted in the feeling of being held so tightly after so long apart from everyone. He liked the Deep Jungle, but Tarzan wasn’t the huggiest person and Sora always missed getting to talk to someone.

“How is everything?” Aerith asked when they parted. Absently, she tried to smooth an errant spike of Sora’s hair.

He trembled at the feeling of her warm hands on his scalp. “Fine,” he said. “I just came back from Deep Jungle and thought I’d stop by. How was the festival?”

“Awesome,” Aerith told him. “Everything went off without a hitch, even the fireworks.”

Sora knew Aerith well and she was a terrible liar under the best of circumstances. As he studied her, he realized that something was bothering her—bothering her enough that she kept twisting her fingers and refused to meet his eyes, focusing instead on his wild hair. Concerned, he asked, “Aerith, what’s wrong?”

Aerith glanced at him and realized at once that he could tell something had happened. She let out a sigh and said, “Your friends, Riku and Kairi, were here looking for you.”

Countless emotions flit across Sora’s face and lingered in his expressive blue eyes. He was all at once happy and sad, nervous and pleased, confused and concerned. Sora didn’t settle on an emotion. He stared at Aerith, waiting for her to elaborate before he decided how to respond.

“They’re worried about you,” Aerith admitted. “They said you left without warning, just left them letters to explain why and didn’t say where you were going.”

Sora’s lips pulled wryly. “That’s true,” he said softly. “I thought that if I explained why I had to leave, then they wouldn’t follow me.”

“Did you want them to follow you?” Aerith asked gently.

Sora shrugged. He looked down at the blistered burn on his forearm. It was tanned like the rest of him now since he hadn’t had to cover it up to protect anyone’s feelings.

Aerith tracked his gaze and reached for his hand, holding it gently. She carded her thumb over the burn and watched goosebumps rise on Sora's skin in the wake of her gentle touch. “Sora?”

“I guess I wanted them to follow me. I wanted them to understand, after all. I had hoped that…” He shook his head, voice tight from the effort to hold back his emotions. Though he was willing to let Aerith close, he wasn't ready for her to see him cry. She saw all his scars and accepted him and that was plenty. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Sora,” Aerith said and squeezed his fingers. “I want to see you happy.”

“Thanks, Aerith,” he murmured and gathered himself together. When he felt that he could speak without giving anything away, he asked, “So, how did they look? Did they look… okay?”

Aerith thought of Riku, of his bruised knuckles, the dark circles beneath his green eyes, the harsh demeanor and haste that surrounded him. He almost seemed about to slide into the darkness again, driven rabid by his search for Sora. Kairi seemed merely adrift, her light shadowed by thick clouds of doubt, grief, and guilt. The girl's desperation, her sorrow, touched Aerith more than Riku's haste. However, her desire to protect Sora overrode all those things. Aerith had seen the boy suffer for too long. She wanted to keep him safe.

“They miss you,” she said truthfully.

Sora smiled ruefully. “Is it wrong if I say that I'm glad?”

Aerith shook her head. “Do you want to see them?”

“Yes,” Sora said, “and no. There was a little... Something happened before I left.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Aerith asked.

Sora chuckled a little and said, “Yes and no.”

Aerith rested her free hand on his shoulder, still holding his hand. “I'm here,” she told him, “if you ever want someone to talk to. I won't judge.”

Sora squeezed her hand tightly, his fingers trembling just a bit. “Thank you,” he said earnestly.

Aerith patted his cheek with her palm. “Now, now, enough sad talk. Come down to the marketplace. Yuffie's been trying to get Leon involved in a pie eating contest all morning and she might be wearing him down by now.”

Sora laughed, a high sweet sound that went straight to Aerith's heart. “I wouldn't want to miss that!” he agreed.

Together, they left the rebuilt keep and headed into the town square. Aerith watched Sora walk ahead. He greeted Houie, Dewey, and Louie and gave them each a fanciful trinket from the worlds he had just visited. The young ducklings delighted in the odd gifts and Sora launched into a story about his visit to Deep Jungle. He laughed and spoke as though making up for lost time. Aerith hoped she hadn't cast a shadow by telling him about Riku and Kairi. Only time would tell.

XXX

Questions, comments, concerns? 


	6. Searching: Part II

Ugh, how about the voice of Master Xehanort dying? Rutger Hauer played Navarre in Ladyhawke, my childhood crush. So sad…

XXX

'He was just here last week for the Halloween party,' said Jack Skellington.

'Oh, you just missed him,' mourned Alice. 'Would you like to wait for him here and have a cup of tea?'

'He came and went at the drop of a hat,' Captain Jack Sparrow informed them. 'Probably won't be back for a month.'

To Riku, each sorrowful statement was a sign of their good fortune. Riku pursued Sora like a hunting dog seeking a rabbit, spurred on by each near-miss like a hunter focusing in on his target. He was hungry and desperate. To Kairi, it felt as though they were chasing Sora. They left messages at each world they visited, asking Sora to meet with them or wait for them or leave some kind of sign. Kairi believed their messages were being passed on, but there was never a response from Sora. They just kept missing him—as though he was fleeing a predator.

“Riku,” Kairi interrupted over their meal at Hiro’s house in San Fransokyo. “I think we should stop.”

Riku's jade eyes snapped to her, pinched at the corners and with dark circles beneath them. He was exhausted from opening and closing the portals to darkness upwards of three times each day in their frantic search. “What?”

“It doesn't feel right,” Kairi confessed. She stared at her hands, watching her knuckles whiten on the lacquered bowl of rice. “I don't think Sora wants us to find him.”

Riku looked as though his meal had turned to sand. He chewed, swallowed, and glowered at her. “You want to give up now? We're so close!”

“We're not close,” Kairi protested. “We've been just missing him for weeks. Face it, Riku. He doesn't want us to find him.”

Riku slammed his bowl down between them. The other dishes jumped at the force. “Maybe he doesn't want to be found by you, Kairi,” he snapped.

She felt as though he had slapped her. He should have—it would have hurt less than his words. “You're tired and hungry,” Kairi said softly. “You don't mean that.”

“Don't I?” Riku hissed. His exhaustion and frustration made him edgy. “I don't even have to say it. You already know.”

The rice turned to ash in Kairi's mouth. She sipped her tea, struggling to swallow. She thought again of Sora's letter. The words were beginning to fade on the crumpled paper now that she had read it so many times. Sora never said that he blamed her, but she blamed herself and so did Riku. If only she hadn't said such a stupid thing while he could hear her, if only she had handled his feelings better, if only she had realized how badly he was hurting, then none of this would have happened.

“I'm trying to fix it, Riku,” Kairi forced out. “But I don't think we should keep doing this. Sora isn't ready to be found. We have to give him time.”

“He’s had time,” Riku ground out. “It’s been almost three months since he left.”

“We can’t just decide how much time he deserves, Riku,” Kairi insisted. She had had this conversation with him a few times over the weeks, but he usually ignored her by opening another portal and heading to another world, forcing her to follow or be left behind. This time, he was too tired to walk away and she took full advantage.

Riku’s emotions simmered just under the surface without the usual buffer his urgency gave him. He was too tired to put up a front now. “You don’t get it, Kairi,” he said bitterly. “I need him.”

The honesty and suffering in his voice surprised her. She reached to comfort him across the table, but he sprang away.

He towered over the table, glaring at her, his hands—no, his entire body—trembling. “I need him!” he shouted. “Without Sora, there’s no light in my world. There’s nothing! I need him!”

“Riku—”

“No!” he screamed at her. “I need to find Sora.”

Almost desperately, he stretched out his hands and cried for the darkness, trying to rend open another portal, trying to spirit himself to the place where Sora was by willpower alone. Kairi threw herself on him, pinning his arms to his sides. It was a testament to just how tired he was that she was able to restrain him at all. Trapping him in a bear hug rather than a true hold, Kairi clung to Riku as he thrashed and screamed. It felt like years that he struggled, but it must have been only a minute at most. Defeated and exhausted, Riku dropped to his knees. He folded over Kairi, clinging to her, sobbing as though his heart had been broken.

Kairi hushed him, her hands wandering all over his trembling back and threading through his pale hair. She held him tightly, her own eyes brimming with tears as Riku’s grief filled up the empty spaces in her heart. She missed Sora so much. Riku missed Sora too. Yet they had been searching for not even half as long as Sora had searched for them. How had Sora ever managed?

Hiro skidded into the small cluttered room his aunt had given them for the night. “What’s wrong?” he asked. His eyes darted. “I heard shouting.”

Kairi kept Riku’s face turned into her neck. “It’s nothing,” she told the young boy. “We’re okay.”

“Should I get Baymax?” Hiro offered, stricken by the sight of Kairi’s tear-streaked face and Riku’s slumped form.

Kairi shook her head. Their troubles were too great for Baymax to heal. “Just… make sure Sora gets our message.”

Hiro nodded shakily. He left them without another word, too young—too much like Sora—to know what to do.

Into Kairi’s neck, Riku sobbed out Sora’s name.

Kairi held him tightly until he cried himself to sleep. She settled him down on the futon, wincing as the feeling came back into her arms and legs. Though she was worn out, she instead went to her pack and took out Sora’s final letter for the first time that day. She smoothed the creased paper across the table and read it again.

When Riku woke the next morning, he wasn’t willing to talk again. Silently, he opened another portal and ushered Kairi into Twilight Town. He roamed those streets like a sleepwalker, searching for Sora on the train and in the tunnels. Kairi followed behind him, wrongness building up in her chest. In the town square, they ran into Olette.

“Hey, Kairi! Riku!” the girl greeted brightly.

Riku stared at her for a moment without speaking.

Kairi fumbled to fill the silence. “Hi, Olette. How is everything?”

“Just great,” Olette said cheerfully.

“Have you seen Sora?” Riku blurted.

Olette’s grin faltered. “Oh, you see, he was just here, but then he left suddenly.”

For Kairi, the words echoed. Had Sora sensed their arrival and bolted? That would mean that he really was hiding from them. Kairi was so lost inside that thought that she didn’t pay attention to her surroundings. There was sound—a kind of crunch and a hiss of sucking air—and she looked up to see horror flare across Olette’s face. She turned her head. Riku was momentarily obscured by a sudden gust of chill wind that blew Kairi’s hair into her face. Though the curtain of blood-colored locks, she saw only darkness.

“Riku!” Kairi shouted. “No!”

With a howl, the darkness surged out from Riku in gusts and plumes like ink spreading through water. He was all but swallowed in an instant, the darkness eating up his clothes and skin until only a nightmare visage remained. The Keyblade in his hand went dark, blurring out the Way to the Dawn. Soul Eater reared up in its place. The bricks around his feet cracked, caving down as if underneath immense pressure.

A shopkeeper shrieked and ran.

Olette continued to stand there, too stricken to move.

Kairi dropped her pack and lunged for the girl, knocking her aside just as a circle of spearing darkness shot out from Riku’s shrouded form with a wail. All around them, the glass and brick shattered, raining down. Kairi shielded Olette with her body, her heart thundering against her ribs.

Riku shouted, a wordless cry of rage and pain.

Kairi smelled sulfur and then felt something rake across her lower calf. The pain flared through her, searing. She leaped to her feet, all the acrobatics that Riku and Sora had taught her falling by the wayside now that she had to try to protect Olette. She stumbled backwards, limping, dragging Olette.

“Kairi,” Olette cried out in panic. “Your leg.”

Kairi glanced at the soaking blood, but didn’t have time to worry about it.

Heartless surged from the rend in the world where Riku had been standing, but only the Heartless remained. Riku was gone, disappeared, devoured by the darkness.

Kairi’s heart sputtered, fear taking up root under her ribs like an explosion of needles. She felt cold all over, except where the Heartless had rent open her leg. The wound burned as though on fire.

Olette whimpered, her fingers clutching at Kairi’s shoulders.

“I have to fight,” Kairi whispered, watching the Heartless swarm all over the rubble surrounding them. To Olette, she said fiercely, “You have to run. Get out of here!”

Jolted by Kairi’s yelling, Ollete nodded. She took off like a shot, her groceries forgotten.

Kairi turned her attention back to the Heartless, summoning her Destiny’s Embrace. The weight of the Keyblade was a comfort, grounding her, and she was suddenly grateful that Sora and Riku had made her train until her arms felt like they were going to fall off. She needed that stamina now. Kairi dove into the fray, knocking the Shadows aside easily. She picked off the weakest Heartless first, being careful not to let their numbers overwhelm her.

Breathing hard, she turned away from the few remaining Shadows and faced down a handful of armored Soldiers. Her leg throbbed, leaving puddles of slick blood, but she forced herself to ignore it. She knocked one Solider back and brought her Keyblade into another’s throat, watching it puff away into a released heart with satisfaction. A Shadow surged up under her feet, knocking her backwards. She struggled to regain her footing, blocking a Soldier as it spun towards her.

A trio of Shadows closed in on her.

All at once, she heard Sora’s voice in her mind. She recalled the pressure of his rough hands, adjusting her grip on the hilt and showing her how to leap high. His strength buoyed her. Kairi coiled the muscles in her legs and sprang away from the deathtrap. The Heartless remained where they were, seemingly surprised that she had escaped. Pouring her strength into the Keyblade, she dove down on them and felt the satisfying crunch of stone as her momentum crushed them all. Her injured leg twinged when she landed, but she pushed forward.

Only a few stragglers remained.

Kairi took a deep breath and cautiously crept up behind a Large Body while it was busy pawing at a shop. She sought its weak spot before it had even noticed she was there. The second one, however, pummeled her from the side. Something in her arm cracked as she hit the wall and she cried out, her leg nearly giving way. The Large Body lumbered towards her, shockwaves shaking beneath its every step. Kairi knew a frontal assault wouldn’t be effective and she had already lost the element of surprise.

Was this where she died—alone, without ever getting a chance to tell Sora that she was sorry, without ever getting to tell him that she…?

“Sora,” she whispered. She closed her eyes, blocking the tears.

“Hey!”

The Large Body turned its attention away from Kairi with a confused sound.

Kairi’s eyes snapped open, hope firing up in her chest.

Olette had returned with Hayner and Pence. They were throwing rubble at the Large Body, drawing its attention from Kairi.

Kairi forced herself forward, half-lunging and half-falling on the Large Body’s exposed back. It too disappeared in a puff of heart. The few Shadows surged towards her trio of saviors, but Kairi picked them off. Finally, the square was empty of monsters. The hole where Riku had once stood and the ruin was all that remained. Kairi leaned heavily on her Keyblade, favoring her leg. Her arm tingled where it had struck the wall, but it wasn’t broken.

Olette rushed through the rubble without a care, clearing the piles like an Olympian. She skidded to a stop beside Kairi and quickly hitched her arm over her shoulders to support her. “Oh my gosh. Are you okay?”

Hayner bounded after Olette, coming up on Kairi’s other side. “That was either the bravest or the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen,” he said.

Kairi smiled wryly, thinking, ‘It’s the kind of thing Sora would do.’

Pence scrambled over to them with a little more difficulty and knelt beside Kairi’s wounded leg. He opened his backpack and pulled out a potion. Hastily, he dumped the contents over her calf. She hissed, but watched in amazement as the magical medicine healed the injury as though it never existed. There wasn’t even a scar.

“There usually isn’t,” Pence told her.

Startled, Kairi realized she had spoken that thought aloud.

“Yeah,” Hayner agreed. “Pretty cool right. There usually isn’t unless the injury is really fucking bad.”

Olette swatted his arm. “Watch your language.”

Kairi swallowed, her throat tight around the sudden realization that each of Sora’s wounds must have been terrible to leave behind the kind of scars that he had.

“How is it?” Olette asked gently. “Can you walk? Hayner, grab her bag.”

Kairi nodded. Delicately, she picked her way through the mess, but luckily it had been pretty much contained to where Riku had been standing. Just a block away, it looked as though nothing had happened.

“Thanks for your help,” Kairi told them breathlessly.

“What are friends for,” Hayner said cheerfully, still high on adrenaline from the battle.

Both of Kairi’s best friends were gone. The thought struck her hard.

Olette studied Kairi’s face and then said, “I’m sorry about Riku.”

A sharp pain went through Kairi’s chest.

“Should we call someone?” Pence offered.

“Tell Sora what happened when you see him again,” Kairi said to them. “Tell him that I’m okay.”

Though they look unconvinced, they didn’t argue when Kairi assured them that they could leave her. Hayner handed over her backpack, which now contained only a few changes of clothes, some supplies, and Sora’s rumpled letter. Once she was alone, she staggered into a shadowed alleyway. Dropping down, she buried her face in her hands and sobbed until her tears had tried up. Blankly, she stared at the cracked brick wall, listening to the sounds of people beginning to clean up the site of the battle. People were so resilient, just like Sora.

Filled with resolve, Kairi closed her eyes and searched inside her heart for the little smudge of darkness that was Namine. The Nobody came when she called, emerging into the forefront of Kairi’s mind like a wisp of mist for all her whiteness. She stood patiently, waiting for Kairi to finish the connection.

“Namine,” Kairi greeted.

“How are you?” Namine asked gently, embracing her. “I felt you fight.”

“I’m okay,” Kairi told her. She gripped Namine’s cool soft hands. “I got hit a few times, but it’s all healed now.”

Namine nodded thoughtfully, squeezing Kairi’s hands comfortingly. “And Riku?”

“Gone,” Kairi said sadly.

Namine regarded her, folding their fingers together.

“I’m going after him,” Kairi told Namine.

“By yourself?” Namine asked but without a shred of doubt.

“Yes,” Kairi said. “It’s what Sora would do, but I need you to open a corridor to the darkness so I can go after him.”

Namine nodded. She passed her hand between them and Kairi felt something shift in the real world. “Done,” she said simply. “Shall I help you?”

“No,” Kairi said firmly. “I’m going to be okay. I’ll bring Riku back. Sora’s done enough for us.”

“Sora would be happy to help you,” Namine insisted, “if he knew you were in danger.”

“I know he would,” Kairi assured her. “But I need to do this.”

Namine nodded slowly, her blonde tresses slipping over her shoulder with the movement. She embraced Kairi again, passing what strength she could to the young woman. Slowly, like a dream, Kairi faded from the shared space and Namine was left alone with only the memory of Kairi’s cold hands. To the void between hearts, she spoke Sora’s name.

…

Sora left Twilight Town in a hurry after he realized that Jack Skellington was expecting him and that he had forgotten their meeting. He was flying the gummi ship through the space between worlds when he felt it. The surge of darkness plowed through him, nearly causing him to crash the craft into a drifting asteroid. His chest heaved, empty of breath, and he fought to stabilize both himself and the ship. When the feeling abated, leaving only a throbbing ache in place of the happiness Sora had been building for himself, he steadied the ship and flipped on auto-pilot so he could fumble off his seatbelt and get to his feet. He hastened to the window and looked out at the void, breathing raggedly.

Where had the surge of darkness come from? Why did it feel so close to him?

Sora rested his forehead against the cold window, his breath puffing in wisps against it. He felt shaky all over, his heart pounding a beat against his sternum. His heart kept jumping, crying out, rattling inside him like a bird trying to escape a cage. He pressed a hand to his chest to calm it, but to no avail.

Something had happened. Something was wrong.

Behind him, at the controls, the communicator warbled with Mickey’s voice.

Sora dragged himself away from the window and dropped back down into his seat, reaching for the radio with shaking hands. “Mickey?”

“Did you feel that?” the king asked without preamble.

“Yeah. What was it?”

“I can’t be sure,” Mickey said urgently, “but it came from Twilight Town.”

“Twilight Town? But I was just there,” Sora said.

Mickey didn’t need to say anything, though he had been prepared to.

“I’ll turn around right now,” Sora continued. “I can be back in twenty minutes.”

“Tell me whatever you find,” Mickey said.

“Roger,” Sora agreed.

“Goofy and Donald will meet you there,” Mickey continued. “I’ll come if necessary, so just let me know.”

Sora’s heart warmed, lifted by the thought of seeing his friends. He gripped the controls and turned the gummi ship around. “Tell them I’ll be waiting for them at the train station.”

“Done,” Mickey assured him and terminated the connection.

After a quick transmission and apology to Jack Skellington, Sora flew swiftly but safely. His limbs trembled, his heart shook, and his head ached with the knowledge that something had gone terribly wrong. The Keyblade hummed inside him, ready for battle, ready for anything. Sora docked the ship beside the clock tower and saw that Goofy and Donald had not yet arrived, but he was too on edge to wait. He let himself out and dropped down into the station courtyard. A few people paused, startled by his sudden appearance. Sora paced briefly, trying to look inconspicuous while he eavesdropped to try to figure out what had happened.

“Let’s go,” a city worker shouted to his team. “We’ve got to get the mess in the square cleaned up.”

“I thought it was over,” an older woman moaned. “I thought we were safe.”

“We are safe,” a young man reassured her. “A Keyblade Bearer wiped all the Heartless out already. All that’s left to do is clean up the mess.”

Sora’s heart skipped a beat. Someone wielding a Keyblade had eliminated a sudden spike in Heartless? Since Mickey was still at Disney Castle, there were only two people who might have done it. His heart flipped uncomfortably, torn between excitement that he might see Riku or Kairi and fear that he would be forced to confront the issues he was content to no longer think about.

“I saw her myself,” a shopkeeper said. “She was really pretty. I hope she didn’t get hurt.”

Sora’s mind went white. Kairi had fought the Heartless, alone? All intentions to wait for Donald and Goofy left him. He took off at a run, kicking off a wall and gliding as fast as he could. It was easy to spot the sight of the battle. There was a great depression, a circle of ruined brickwork and broken glass, and smears of blood. Sora scanned the area from above, but there was no sign of either the Heartless or Kairi.

Where was Riku? Had he left Kairi alone? Had Kairi gone on looking for Sora without Riku?

What had caused this influx of darkness?

“Sora!” came a shout from below.

Sora nearly brained himself in his haste to redirect his flight towards the voice.

Olette waved vigorously. “I knew you’d come back,” she shouted.

Sora dropped his flight and landed hard beside her. “Olette, what happened here?”

“Riku and Kairi showed up looking for you,” she explained.

“Together?” Sora repeated. A dark worry took up root in his chest.

Olette nodded. “They asked about you, just like always, but when I told them that you left so quickly, something… happened…”

Sora took her hand, surprised to find it ice-cold. “Olette?” He tried to rub some warmth into her skin, letting a little healing magic flow into her. “Just tell me. It’s okay.”

“Riku lost it,” Olette said. “The darkness came rushing out all at once and then there were Heartless everywhere. Kairi saved me and she fought them all off.”

Sora’s mouth went dry and cold sweat broke out on his neck. “What?” he croaked.

“I’m sorry,” Olette said hastily. “I got Hayner and Pence and we helped her as best we could.”

“Was she hurt?” Sora demanded, thinking of the blood he had seen. He knew the Heartless didn’t bleed.

Olette nodded. “But Pence gave her a potion. She was okay when we left her.”

“Left her?” Sora repeated. “Where did she go?”

“I don’t know,” Olette said. A sob rattled in her chest. “She asked us to leave her. Pence wanted to call someone, but she just said to tell you what happened the next time we saw you. She said she’d be okay.”

Sora’s vision blurred. For a moment, he was aware of nothing except the void of concern for Kairi and Riku that blossomed in his chest. How could something like this have happened? Was it his fault? What if he had never left Destiny Island, what if he had stayed with them, what if he had met up with them after they started searching for him? Would any of this have happened if he had just done something different?

“Sora?” Olette asked, breaking him from his trance. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Sora assured her. With a final squeeze, he let go of her hand. “I’m going to look for Kairi around town. Donald and Goofy are on their way. If you see them before me, let them know what’s going on.”

Olette nodded. She looked a little less shaken now and some color had come back into her cheeks. “Do you want me to help you look?”

“If you wouldn’t mind looking from the ground,” Sora said to her.

“Sure. I’ll get Hayner and Pence to help.”

With that, Sora sprang up the wall and took off at a brisk glide. “Kairi,” he mumbled. “Riku.” He still couldn’t believe something like this had happened. Though he scoured Twilight Town from the sky for another fifteen minutes, he wasn’t able to find either of them. He did see Goofy and Donald dock their ship beside his and flew off to meet them at the station.

“Sora,” Goofy greeted with concern when he saw the look on Sora’s face. “What happened?”

“It’s Riku,” Sora said. His voice was surprisingly steady. “He fell to the darkness again. I think Kairi went after him.”

“By herself?” Donald asked.

Sora nodded. “It looks that way. I can’t find them anywhere.”

“We have to go after them,” Goofy said urgently.

“I’ll call the king,” Donald said and flipped open his communicator.

Goofy placed a hand on Sora’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Sora nodded, but he looked shell-shocked.

“We’ll find them,” Goofy assured his friend. “We’ve done it before.”

Abruptly, tears welled in Sora’s eyes and spilled down his cheeks.

Shocked, Goofy could only stare in surprise as Sora bent his face into his hands and sobbed. Snapping into action, Goofy wrapped his arms around Sora tightly, crushing him to his chest.

“It’ll be okay,” Goofy murmured into Sora’s wild hair.

“Goofy,” Sora sniffled. “What if it’s all my fault? They’ve been looking for me and I… I wasn’t ready.”

Goofy hushed him. “It’s not your fault,” he insisted. “We’ll get them back, okay?”

Sora pulled away slightly and mopped his face with his gloved palms. Goofy watched him closely for signs of another breakdown, but Sora breathed deep and put on a brave face. That was one thing Goofy had always loved about Sora—his resiliency. Nothing could bring Sora down or dampen his spirit. Sora saw everything through to the end, even the things other people would have deemed impossible.

“Let’s go!” Donald shouted. “The King’s going to meet us where we can get into the Realm of Darkness.”

“Sora?” Goofy asked gently.

Sora clenched his fist, summoning Oathkeeper to his hand with a smile. “You’re right, Goofy. We’ll bring them back.”

…

There was something different about the darkness as Kairi stepped through Namine’s corridor. For the first time, she was frightened to be there. It felt… alive and hungry, maliciously licking its lips at the sight of her. She drew Destiny’s Embrace into her hands and held it tightly, comforted by its presence. She felt connected to Sora when she held her Keyblade, connected to all the people she looked up to, to all the people who were stronger than she was. Kairi took in a deep breath of stagnant air and closed her eyes, reaching out her heart and mind for Riku.

It wasn’t difficult to find him.

There was a seething mass of warped emotion somewhere just out of sight. The darkness was trying to devour what was left of Riku’s light while shards of Riku fought back and parts tried to give in. It wasn’t unlike the time she had drawn Sora’s heart out of the Shadow Heartless and restored him. Though Kairi felt it regardless, Riku’s flickering light was far weaker than Sora’s burgeoning one. She had to hurry.

Under her breath, Kairi said, “Wait for me, Riku. Don’t give in yet.”

She didn’t run. She didn’t want to deplete her waning stamina. Being with Namine had revitalized her, but she wasn’t sure how long the boost of energy would last. She walked briskly though, feeling the pulse of emotion grow closer with each heavy step. She crested a pale hill and looked down into the moonlit valley. In the distance, she could see Riku. He was standing at the edge of an endless dark sea, his silhouette like a paper doll against a stage. Her heart pounded, but her hands were steady. She could do this. She could pull him from the dark.

Kairi slid cautiously down the great hill, her feet sinking in the soft sand. When she reached the bottom, she picked her way carefully over to him. “Riku?” She couldn’t see his face and he hadn’t turned even at the sound of her voice. She wasn’t sure how close she wanted to get to him while he was like this. If he surprised her, it would be all over. Sora would have to save them both once again. “Riku?”

“Go away,” he ground out. His voice had an echo to it, as though two people were speaking at once. “Get away from me.”

Kairi tightened her fingers around her Keyblade. “No,” she said. “You’re coming back with me.”

“I can’t go back,” he hissed.

“Why not?”

“Sora.”

Kairi’s throat tightened. “Sora’s waiting for us.”

“No, he’s not and you know it,” Riku snarled. “We fucked up one too many times. Sora’s done with both of us.”

“That’s not true,” Kairi insisted. “Sora’s not like that.”

“He’s avoiding us, hiding from us. He jumped worlds when he heard we landed on that one.”

“You don’t know that,” she said softly.

“I do.” Riku’s arm hung at his side, Soul Eater dangling from his fingers. The Keyblade glistened with wisps of foaming dark, pulsing with its own heartbeat. “I already know.” As he spoke, the darkness throbbed and grew, feeding off his fears and pain. He turned to face her and his expression was twisted with hate. “You know it too. It’s your fault.”

“Riku,” Kairi said hastily. She took a step back and the cold ocean lapped at her ankle. “Stop. Come back with me.”

Riku lunged at her in an instant. His face was wild, streaked with tears and twisted with anguish. The curve of Soul Eater was a wicked knife, arching down at her. It whistled, moving so swiftly that it was all Kairi could do to avoid his slashes. Before she knew it, she was knee deep in the frigid sea. Riku stood on the shore, his banner of silver hair tangled in front of his face. She couldn’t read his expression, but his shoulders hung sorrowfully. For a moment, Kairi thought he wasn’t going to come into the water after her. She thought she had a moment to catch her breath.

In the next heartbeat, Riku was on top of her. The blow of his body was like a hammer striking an anvil, to say nothing of the icy cold that numbed her bones when he pushed her beneath the frigid sea. Kairi thrashed, frantic bubbles blocking her vision of everything, but she couldn’t throw him off. Desperately, she summoned her Keyblade and slashed at him blindly. Riku jerked Destiny’s Embrace from her and Kairi saw the beacon of light sink into the water. She thought about calling her weapon back to her hand the way Sora had shown her. It was hard to think. She couldn’t breathe—she needed air.

Suddenly, Soul Eater pressed between her breasts, digging through her flesh. She screamed in agony and terror, water filling her mouth and lungs.

It was over, she thought. Riku was too much for her. The dark was too much for her.

Without Sora…

Soul Eater pressed through her chest and into her heart. The pain was so vast, so sharp.

Blinding light swelled from her chest, forcing Riku backwards as pure light streamed from the break in her heart. She surfaced, gasping and shaking all over. The brush with death humbled her. Saving Riku would not be as easy as saving Sora—Sora had wanted to be saved, Sora had reached out through the dark. Outstretching her hand, she called her Keyblade back and surged out of the water. It was too dangerous. Though the soft sand wasn’t much better, at least Riku couldn’t drown her on land. Blood seeped through her torn dress, soaking the space between her breasts. Her breath came in little starved gasps and her teeth chattered from cold.

“You can’t win against me,” Riku said. His voice was garbled as though coming from far away. “Just give in. It’ll be easier.”

“No!” Kairi shouted. “Sora is waiting for us.”

Riku closed the space between them, but Kairi saw him coming. His anger, his hatred for her, made him easy to read. She blocked the downward swipe of Soul Eater, though her arms went numb from the vigor of the blow. Riku was surprised and she forced him back, landing a hard shot to his ribs. Light exploded where she struck him, washing the dark smoke away for an instant before it swarmed back into the void like water filling a sinking ship.

“You can’t pull me back,” Riku snarled. “You’re not strong enough. You weren’t even strong enough to accept Sora after everything he did for you.”

Kairi didn’t take the bait.

She watched Riku closely, waiting for the moment he would lunge. She wasn’t disappointed. He hurtled towards her as though shot from a cannon. Kairi danced aside, light on her feet the way Sora had taught her, and Riku sailed harmlessly past her. He blasted into the sand in a great explosion. The ensuing dust was blinding and Kairi shaded her face with her hand. In that moment, Riku struck her from the side. Soul Eater seared where it slashed her ribs, rending her dress and opening a wound in her side. Kairi bit back a scream and instead retaliated, catching Riku under the chin with a snap.

Black blood welled from his split lip. Riku stared at her, his eyes flickering between emotions.

“Stop it, Riku,” Kairi called to him. She was out of breath, blood gushing from her side, water dripping from her soaked clothes. “Come back to me. You don’t want to do this.”

He shifted his grip on Soul Eater, preparing another blow.

Kairi planted her feet. A foolish plan took up root in her chest. Riku was too strong for her to defeat alone, especially like this. She was injured and exhausted, freezing and bleeding. She had to take him down another way. She waited, her heart pounding, for the moment he attacked.

Riku lunged at her, Soul Eater sweeping up in an arc.

Kairi feinted back just enough to avoid the blow, feeling the air gust against her face.

Riku recovered quickly, slashing at her chest again.

Kairi let the blade bite into her shoulder.

Riku had expected her to dodge again. She could see surprise and then horror in his face.

In that instant, Kairi jammed her Keyblade into the middle of Riku’s chest. Light bloomed from it, surging over Riku.

He shouted something—it might have been Sora’s name, it might have been hers.

Kairi let go of her Keyblade and threw her arms around him. Pure light swelled from her heart and she reached inside, feeling for him the way she had reached for Sora. His light flickered, but Kairi grasped the threads of it. She pulled with all her strength, hot blood streaming from the wounds in her body. Riku burned like a furnace in her arms, scorching to the point of pain. She pulled harder, vision going white with pain and light.

When the brightness faded, leaving behind only the Realm of Darkness, Kairi lay on her back in the sand. Her vision was blurred and she had ceased feeling cold or hot. She stared up into the void. It was always night in the darkness, but there was a moon hanging in the sky like a crescent smile. Unbidden, she thought of Sora, of his smile and his laugh.

Riku fell to his knees beside her, sobbing her name.

The last thing Kairi saw was Sora’s face.

…

Sora didn’t ask why or how Mickey knew how to get into the Realm of Darkness. Maybe Merlin had something to do with it. The magic certainly had Merlin’s flare. Maybe the King had been keeping such a spell for emergencies. Sora didn’t ask. He didn’t think about the fact that Mickey was using such an important spell now. The door opened and he went in without hesitation.

The Realm of Darkness was emptier than he remembered.

In the distance, a blinding light swelled.

“What is that?” Donald asked in awe.

Sora took off running, his heart in his throat. He had seen that light before. It had shone from the void of darkness, pulling him out, restoring him. It was Kairi and she had reached Riku.

“Sora!” Mickey shouted at his back. “Wait!”

Sora didn’t stop running.

Somehow, Goofy kept pace with him despite his heavy shield.

Donald and Mickey fell behind quickly.

The Realm of Darkness stretched out like a nightmare, the distance seeming to grow longer and longer for each step that Sora took. His chest throbbed, breath heaving, heart skipping. Then, finally, he was able to close the space between himself and his friends. Together, Sora and Goofy slid down a steep hill just as the blinding light faded completely. The sand churned beneath Sora’s heavy boots. For a moment, he thought of the beach party. It felt like so long ago that he had been happy and had his friends beside him in the sunlight. He could hear Riku’s laugh, he could taste the lunch Kairi had packed so lovingly, he could smell the salt and the sunscreen.

The dark ate up those memories.

Sora’s heart stopped at the sight before him. Kairi lay there, as still as she had been without her heart when he found her in Hollow Bastion. Riku bent over her, his face obscured by his long silver hair. He looked like he was crying. Splatters of red marked the grey sand and seeped from Kairi’s body. She was so still.

Sora stumbled, landing hard beside his friends on his knees. There was no time to think that he hadn’t seen them in so long, that he had left so suddenly, that there was so much to say. He spread his hands over Kairi, healing magic flowing out of him too quickly. “What happened?” he asked Riku. His voice was angrier than he had intended. He swallowed, asked again, “What happened?”

Riku didn’t answer. A ragged sound escaped him.

Behind him, Sora heard Goofy call for Donald.

Sora kept his gaze on Kairi. There was a gaping wound at her shoulder, a circle of blood between her breasts, and a long gash at her side. She was soaked, shivering, the murky water preventing her blood from clotting. He tried to stop the bleeding, pouring magic into her haphazardly. Slowly, her skin began to knit, but Sora wasn’t the greatest healer. He saw the scar on his forearm, sickly in the green light of healing magic. He prayed under his breath.

Donald fell in beside him, working on the wound in her side intensely.

Mickey pulled Riku away, speaking to him low and gentle, but Riku didn’t respond.

“She’s stable,” Donald said once the wounds were closed. “Let’s get out of here. Riku is still weak. The darkness could take him again.”

Sora barely heard the words. He lifted Kairi into his arms, cradling her against his chest despite her soaked clothing. Her body was so cold yet she didn’t have the energy to shiver any longer. Sora paused, shrugged out of his armored jacket, and wrapped it around her tightly. She was so thin, so small, and she had faced down a horde of Heartless and Riku without help. She hadn’t had anyone to help her. How could Sora ever have left her alone?

Goofy pressed a hand to Sora’s lower back, guiding him forward.

Sora walked numbly, carrying her back to the gummi ship. She felt like ice in his arms, or was he burning up? Mickey led Riku along and Donald scanned their surroundings for Heartless. Goofy kept his eyes on Sora and Kairi, but the girl didn’t wake and Sora’s pale face remained haunted. Without his jacket, Goofy could see the scars on Sora’s exposed shoulders and upper arms.

XXX

Questions, comments, concerns? 


	7. Aftershock

Sorry, so sorry. Apparently, Thursday is too in-the-middle-of-the-week for me and I can't keep track of it.

XXX

When Kairi woke, she was blessedly warm and there was a tingling sensation between her breasts. She thought for a moment that it was an aftereffect of using the light in her heart to pull Riku back. However, when she opened her eyes, she saw a hand resting there. The hand was naked, without gloves, and the knuckles were marked with a ridge of scars. A faint green light hummed beneath the palm, healing the wound she remembered getting when Riku tried to drown her, pinning her beneath the waves with the sharp tip of Soul Eater.

“Riku!” she recalled sharply and tried to sit up.

The hand pressed her down, sending a tingle of pain through her chest. “Calm down,” a familiar voice said. “Riku’s fine. You’re safe, Kairi.”

Kairi’s vision blurred terribly with tears. “Sora,” she croaked.

“I’m here,” he said softly.

Kairi wrest her hands from beneath the blankets and clutched at his arm. She could feel the heat and texture of his skin. She sobbed, “You’re here, you’re here.”

Sora gripped her fingers tightly. “I am.”

Kairi wept, tears streaming down her face in ugly fountains. It seemed unfair that she had finally found Sora and she couldn’t even see him because she was crying so hard. She consoled herself with the feel of his skin, bumpy with scars but so warm beneath her fingers. She clutched his hand.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he told her. “Take a deep breath.” His hand pressed to her chest again, preventing her from continuing to draw the shallow gasping breaths that she had been sucking in.

Kairi breathed deeply. Abruptly, she recalled the unique scent of Sora’s presence—sea salt, sunlight, magic, warm metal, and something that was purely him. She hadn’t realized that she had ever forgotten it. A fresh wave of tears assaulted her. “Sora, Sora,” she sobbed.

“I’m right here,” he repeated patiently. He kept pressure on her chest to prevent her from hyperventilating. “Breathe.”

Slowly, Kairi regained control of herself. Her tears slowed along with her breath. She swiped at her wet face and blinked a few times. Slowly, she focused her gaze on Sora. He was seated at her bedside on a comfy chair in a room that she didn’t recognize. The view outside the single arched window was of a featureless colored sky. She squeezed his fingers tightly and he smiled thinly. He looked just as she remembered, especially since he was wearing his old armor once again. His hair had been cut recently and he was much tanner, though. His blue eyes—so deep and expressive—were exactly as she remembered. God, she loved him.

“Sora,” she whispered.

He hushed her and the warm light began again, tingling there between her breasts where Riku had stabbed her.

“What… are you doing?”

“Healing you,” Sora said simply.

Kairi nudged his hand aside and felt around gingerly, but there was no pain. She glanced beneath the baggy shirt someone had put on her in place of her dress, but there wasn’t a wound any longer. “I’m not hurt,” she murmured. Magic was an amazing thing.

“There’s a scar,” Sora said softly and settled his hand back into place. “I’ll get rid of it. Don’t worry.”

“A scar?” Kairi breathed. Distractedly, her fingers danced along his exposed forearm, lingered on the blistery burn there—the one he had felt the need to hide from her. It was visible now, now that he was gone and hadn’t had to see her anymore. It was tanned, golden, like the rest of his skin.

All at once, everything that had lead up to this crashed over her.

“Stop!” she protested and batted away his hand. “Don’t heal it. Leave it there.”

Sora pinned her flailing hand easily to the bed. “Kairi, calm down,” he said. “You’re okay.”

“I am, I am,” she said hastily. “It’s just a scar. I don’t mind—”

“Stop,” Sora said firmly.

“Sora, please,” she insisted, “Just listen to me. I don’t mind scars. I never meant— Please, I love you so mu—”

“Sleep,” he said and a whisper of magic drifted from his fingers.

Exhaustion came for Kairi instantaneously and her eyes closed. Sora held her weight, easing her back down against the pillows. He shakily loosened her grip on his hand and tucked her arms back under the blankets. She lay there, still and peaceful, his Sleeping Beauty, his Princess.

He dragged a hand through his hair and let his breath out slowly. Placing his hand on her side now, he worked on that scar for a while. Already, the marks had faded to faint shadows. Donald said that the only way to get rid of a scar completely was to work on it while it was still fresh. Sora had been up all night, healing her so that there wouldn’t be a single blemish on her perfect skin. Donald had thought she wouldn’t wake up until tomorrow. Sora hadn’t been ready for such a confrontation, but he couldn’t walk away now. For another few hours, he dedicated himself to healing her.

…

After rescuing Kairi and Riku from the Realm of Darkness, Mickey had taken everyone directly to Yen Sid’s tower because it was closer than Disney Castle. Now, face to face with his old master, Mickey was beginning to regret his decision. Somehow, no matter what he did or what he accomplished, Yen Sid made him feel like he could have done better. Considering the entire situation, Yen Sid was looking at him like he had chosen the worst of all his options, but he didn’t speak. His master’s silent disapproval was somehow all the much harder to bear though.

Mickey poured out a mug of coffee and then made himself scarce, taking up vigil at Riku’s bedside since Sora refused to leave Kairi’s.

For his part, Yen Sid couldn’t help but think how difficult the task of training Keyblade wielders had become. There was a time when young chosen ones were sent to masters and trained for years until they earned the Mark of Mastery or were deemed ready. Only then were the warriors sent out into the worlds. However, the worlds had become so unstable and overrun with darkness that such a thing could not be done any longer. Mere children, untrained and without guidance, were sent out against the Heartless. There was simply no other choice.

Beyond even that, the usage of the Keyblade had almost fallen into myth—there were so few wielders left.

First, there was Sora who had never been chosen, but was the single best chance they had to keep back the tide of darkness.

There was Riku who gave in to the dark, but was strong enough to keep coming back, who had friends who cared enough to keep going after him. Nevertheless, Yen Sid didn’t doubt that a time would come when they would lose Sora to the dark all because of Riku. Sora was too soft, perhaps too young, to think of the greater good when faced with his friends’ fates.

Kairi, a Princess of Heart, who had been given the power was a special thing indeed, but she had been trained by Riku and Sora, neither of whom had ever been formally trained. She was green and raw and there was little hope that she would ever get the chance for a formal education.

Yen Sid wanted to blame Mickey for that, but he supposed that Mickey was the only remaining master now. Eraqus was gone, Terra had been lost, Aqua had fallen, Ventus was just an empty shell, and Xehanort was the cause of all this suffering. It was too much to ask Mickey to train the new Keyblade Bearers alone, especially when the worlds were in such great need.

It was too much.

It was all just too much.

Yen Sid had been asleep when Mickey knocked loudly on the door to the Tower. He hadn’t bothered to walk down all the steps and merely magicked himself to the front door. When he let in his pupil and the entourage that came along with him, he had been surprised to say the least. Last he had seen them, he had had hope for the future.

However, in those predawn hours, Riku was dead to the world. Bits of darkness still clutched hungrily at him and he seemed no longer able to fight. The Princess of Heart was unconscious, her clothes stained with blood and water dripping slowly from the tips of her dangling hair and fingers.

It was the first time Yen Sid had seen Sora without his armored jacket. The boy, he realized, was covered in scars. He could see them outlined where Sora’s damp t-shirt clung to his body, where the thin straps of his undershirt exposed his shoulders, where his shirt rode up as he bent to set the princess down. Sora had already seen too much, been through too much, suffered too much. He would never heal.

Yen Sid wanted to blame someone, but there was no one to blame. They had all done the best they could, especially Mickey.

Yen Sid retired to his chambers. He was an old man after all and not accustomed to being woken at ridiculous hours of the night and morning.

…

Donald slept in, exhausted from helping Sora heal Kairi, and Riku had been magically put to sleep by Mickey when he couldn’t be broken from his catatonia. Sora had stayed up all night, working to heal Kairi’s scars without a trace. As it was, Goofy had the kitchen to himself when he woke that morning. He set about preparing a breakfast of champions for Sora. He was worried about the boy, more so now than ever.

When Max was young, Goofy had cooked for Max. However, once he joined Mickey’s army and moved into the castle, he hadn’t had occasion or the need to cook any more. (The nights he warmed something over a fire with Sora and Donald notwithstanding.) It felt good to be back behind the warm stove, flipping pancakes in a kind of Zenlike state. Goofy began to scramble some eggs as well and before he knew it, he had covered the table in food and lost track of the time.

“Wow,” Sora said. His voice startled Goofy into dropping his spatula with a clatter. “Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t scare me,” Goofy said. He picked up the spatula, rinsed it off, and fell back into the rhythm of cooking. “I was just a little surprised, is all.”

Sora sat down at the table, made himself a plate, and dug in.

“How is everything?” Goofy asked. He finished up and sat down beside Sora to make his own plate.

“Delicious,” Sora said and took a sip of orange juice. He ate ravenously, his reserves exhausted from casting so much magic.

Goofy polished off a hefty stack of pancakes and then sat back, sipping his coffee and watching Sora eat.

With his raging hunger satiated, Sora ate his second helping more slowly and took his time to enjoy everything Goofy had prepared. “It’s delicious,” Sora said again. “It feels like a long time since I had a breakfast like this.”

“I’m glad,” Goofy told him with a smile that was sad at the edges. “How are you doing?”

“Okay,” Sora said slowly. “Kairi woke up while I was healing her.”

Goofy leaned forward, concerned.

“I told her I was healing her scars. She started to fight me,” Sora explained. “She told me to stop. She said she didn’t mind scars. She started to tell me that she loved me.”

Goofy laid his hand over Sora’s, squeezing comfortingly.

“I don’t know what to do, Goofy,” Sora confessed. “I’m so ripped up inside. I don’t know what to think anymore.”

“Why don’t you try the one thing you haven’t done yet?” Goofy offered.

Sora stared at him, blue eyes vulnerable and yet so hopeful.

“Why don’t you try talking to your friends?”

Sora opened his mouth to protest.

Goofy hushed him with a raised hand. “I know you heard what you heard directly out of Kairi’s mouth, but there has to be more to it than just that. Riku and Kairi have been looking for you for months,” Goofy said. “Kairi wants to talk to you. Why don’t you just listen? You’re a good listener, Sora.”

Sora swallowed. His blue eyes were glassy with tears. “Okay,” he said softly. “Yeah, I will as soon as she wakes up.”

“Riku should be waking up soon,” Goofy said gently. “I’m sure he’d like to talk to you too.”

Sora nodded, his lower lip quivering.

“Hey,” Goofy said gingerly. “If you don’t want to, you can just go. I’ll talk to both of them and explain what happened. If you’re not ready, I’ll take care of it.”

Sora shook his head. “No, that’s okay. I… I do want to talk to them. I miss them.”

“And Kairi?” Goofy prompted.

“I’ve loved her for a long time,” Sora confessed.

Goofy patted Sora’s hand. “Then I guess you know what you have to do, don’t you?”

…

Despite Mickey's magic, Riku hadn't slept well. He had too many nightmares, the dark clutching at him keenly even now. He wondered if he would always be weak to it. He woke a few times in the night, panting, his hand still reaching out for Sora as the light in his life decided that it was all too much and just walked away.

Twice, he woke to King Mickey at his bedside with a far-seeing gaze. The king didn't speak, simply studied Riku in silence. Riku wondered if Mickey was embarrassed by him, some Keyblade wielder that he was, constantly lost to the darkness. Riku was fortunate that the Keyblade couldn't be taken from him like a regular weapon, otherwise Mickey could have walked away like Sora did in his nightmare.

Riku closed his eyes and fell back asleep. This time, he dreamed of Soul Eater biting through Kairi's body. Sora would never forgive Riku for that—for killing her.

When Riku woke from that, he was alone. Shaking all over, he sat up and looked out the window at the deep night. He was too exhausted to get out of bed, otherwise he would have gone looking for Kairi, to confirm that she was alive and unharmed. He remembered fighting her as she tried to pull him from the dark, just like Sora.

A bubble of hot sickness welled up in his chest. He pushed his hands through his hair and squeezed tightly, fighting the tears that threatened to pour out. What good was he to his friends? Why had Kairi bothered to come after him? Why had Sora reached through the black and taken his hand? They had such better things to do with their lives than constantly save him.

Riku slept again.

He dreamed of that night on the island. The Heartless had come. A voice had beckoned Riku to the island, to protect what he loved, and he had gone. However, when he got there, he found that his wooden sword did nothing. He was too weak, he was powerless, and another voice called him from the dark. He could have power, if only he gave in. And Riku had given in—quickly, without even thinking about it further. Riku had told himself that he needed that power to protect his friends, but he had only ever used it to hurt them.

He could still see Sora's expression on Hollow Bastion, stricken with horror and fear as Riku jerked the Keyblade out of his heart and took it for himself. Sora had fought regardless—without power, without strength, without a weapon. Sora's heart lit up the darkness, even though it was too late for Riku to stop himself.

When Riku woke again, there was sunlight streaming through the arched windows and someone was holding his hand—warm fingers, a bare palm too rough to be Kairi's, firm yet gentle.

“Sora,” he murmured even before he had opened his eyes. He thought it was another dream, squeezing Sora's hand in return.

However, Sora laughed quietly. “How did you know it was me?”

Riku opened his eyes and turned his head, surprised to see that Sora was actually sitting there. He looked wonderful, tired as though he had been up all night but tanned golden and with bright expressive eyes. Sora smiled at Riku and it felt like so long since he had seen Sora smile. An ache took up root in his chest, swelling until it replaced everything else.

“Sora,” Riku breathed.

Sora's smile did not falter, though it pinched with sadness. “It's me,” he assured Riku. “I'm here.”

Riku wrenched himself upright in the bed and threw his arms around Sora, squeezing him as close as possible. He half-thought that Sora would disappear at his touch, a dream conjured by his desperate mind, but Sora's body was strong and solid. He returned Riku's embrace, his hands pressing hard at Riku's back.

Riku clung to Sora, tightly to the point of pain, but Sora did not push him away. He held Riku, feeling his friend tremble all over, until Riku loosened his grip. Riku stared into Sora's face for a long moment, jade eyes scouring over his exposed body. They lingered on the uncovered scars on his shoulders and forearm, tanned evenly to match the rest of his skin.

Finally, Riku breathed out, “You're here. I looked... I looked everywhere for you.”

The words—a callback to Sora's own voice on the World That Never Was—sent a shiver down Sora's spine.

“I know,” Sora said softly. “I'm sorry. I—”

“Don't apologize,” Riku interrupted. “Not to me, never to me.”

Sora didn't try to wade through Riku's guilt just then. He simply nodded and drew Riku into another hug.

“Kairi,” Riku murmured into Sora's shoulder.

Sora tensed, wondering what was coming.

Riku seemed to want to say many things about Kairi, but he couldn't. Instead, he asked in a small voice, “Is she okay?”

“She's alright,” Sora assured him. “She's sleeping in another room. I healed her. She won't even have a scar.”

“Scars,” Riku repeated numbly. Absently, he realized that Sora had shed much of his armor and Riku could feel the scars on his back uninhibited. All this because of scars—scars that Riku and the Heartless and too many battles and not enough magic had left on Sora's body. If only Riku hadn't given in to the darkness, if only he had stayed with at Sora's side...

“Stop that,” Sora chided. He gathered Riku's face between his palms, swiping away a few drifting tears. “It's not your fault. I already explained that to you. I needed to go. I needed some time.” He opened his mouth, prepared to apologize for leaving and not meeting with them, but Riku had already demanded that Sora not apologize any longer. Instead, Sora said, “I feel a little better now,” and it was closer to the truth than he realized.

Riku searched Sora's face. He laid his palm over Sora’s, feeling the warmth of Sora’s touch soak into his cheek. He shut his eyes, fighting the tears.

Sora chuckled softly and drew Riku into his arms again.

It felt strange to be comforted by Sora, Riku thought. Sora was younger and smaller than him and yet he had always been the one who was certain of everything. Sora was the one who didn’t hesitate, whether it was to make a new friend or dive into the darkness to save someone he cared about. Riku squeezed Sora tightly, unable to say any of the things he desperately wanted to. He could only hope that Sora already knew how deeply Riku loved him.

Breaking the embrace, Sora perched on the edge of the bed and placed a tray of breakfast across Riku’s lap. “Dig in,” he said brightly. “Goofy made it and there’s plenty more where that came from.”

Though Riku didn’t have an appetite, he ate what Sora had set before him, if only because Sora remained seated beside him, chatting the whole time. Riku didn’t want this moment to end. He had a feeling that when breakfast was over, Sora was going to leave and never look back. Riku hadn’t given him a reason to look back, hadn’t given him a reason to stay.

“Riku?” Sora asked.

Riku realized that he had stopped eating and was just staring at Sora, fork clutched in his hand.

“Something wrong?”

“Yes,” Riku blurted. “Everything’s wrong.”

Sora looked stricken. “What?”

Riku stared down at his half-eaten breakfast and it weighed heavy in his stomach. “You deserve better than us. We’re terrible friends. We just keep hurting you—”

Sora threw his arms around Riku so hard that he knocked him over on the bed. “Stop,” he said. “Don’t talk about my friends that way.” Sora tugged a lock of Riku’s hair, forcing him to meet his eyes. “I’ll beat you up, okay?”

Riku’s eyes welled with tears again. Wordlessly, he hugged Sora tight. “I love you,” he said softly.

Sora squeezed him in return. “I love you too.”

He had a feeling that Sora didn’t understand just how deep Riku’s feeling ran, but he didn’t press the topic now. Riku drew away and returned to eating his breakfast.

“You’d better finish that,” Sora said after a moment. “You’re going to need your strength.”

Riku regarded him. “For what?”

“I’d like you to come with me,” Sora said. He shifted nervously, dragging a hand through his hair, as though Riku was going to reject him.

“With you?” Riku repeated.

“Mickey made me an ambassador,” Sora explained. “I’ve been going around checking on all the worlds and getting rid of Heartless if I find them. It’s pretty fun and I’d like it if you—”

“Sora,” Riku interrupted because Sora seemed at risk of rambling forever. “I’ll stay with you until you want me to leave.”

Sora stared at him, his blue eyes like fragments of fallen sky.

A wry little smile pulled at Riku’s mouth. “Even if you try to leave me behind, I’ll still follow you.”

For a moment, Sora looked surprised, then slightly sad and a little bit guilty. Finally, a winning smile pulled at his mouth. He grinned at Riku and his happiness lit up the room. “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Sora told Riku. “Finish up your breakfast. Yen Sid wants to teach us something.”

…

When Sora's spell wore off, Kairi woke with a start. At first, she was angry that Sora had put her to sleep and run away, but the anger faded quickly. Sora hadn't been ready to see her, to talk to her, but he had come to save her and Riku. He still cared—he had never stopped caring. She needed to give him more time. He still needed more time.

Peeking beneath the shirt she wore, she saw that the wounds Riku had inflicted had been healed without a trace. She didn’t know how to feel about that. On the one hand, she didn’t want the reminders of her fight with one of her best friends. On the other, she knew Sora had an unhealthy focus on scars. She thought that if she had a few, he would be willing to talk about them with her. But the scars were gone and Kairi wasn’t going to get them back. She moved on. The last thing she wanted to do was seem ungrateful that Sora had spent the whole night healing her.

Refreshed from the magical nap and with nary and ache despite the grueling battles, she swung her legs out of bed and searched the room for her clothes. They must have been destroyed though, because she couldn’t find even a thread of her pink dress. However, someone had dressed her in Sora’s clothes, if the lingering scent of him was anything to go by. Since her modesty was protected, though she wondered who had undressed her in the first place, she padded off in search of something to eat.

Yen Sid’s tower had a frankly ridiculous amount of stairs and she was almost ready for a second nap by the time she found the kitchen and stumbled inside. Goofy had his back to the door and Kairi cleared her throat so as not to startle him. The knight turned to face her, smiling.

“Good morning,” he greeted. “How are you feeling?”

“Great,” Kairi told him. “It smells delicious in here.”

“Help yourself,” Goofy said. “I got a little carried away. Sora didn’t even make a dent.”

Kairi’s throat tightened. “Sora’s up already?”

Goofy nodded. He hesitated a moment and then admitted, “He went to check on Riku.”

Kairi didn’t allow herself to feel jealous or hurt. Riku was Sora’s best friend. Of the two of them, Riku might be the one Sora was ready to see—Riku might be the one Sora blamed the least. “Oh,” was all she managed.

Goofy watched her make up a plate and pour a glass of orange juice. She sank down at the table and began eating quietly. She looked forlorn and the sight plucked at Goofy’s heartstrings. He still thought of her as the girl Sora had sacrificed himself for, the girl who had been brave enough to reach into the dark, the girl who had given Sora back to them. He found it so hard to believe that she had ever meant to hurt Sora’s feelings. Though he knew what Sora had heard, he recognized that some words could be taken out of context.

Goofy sat down across from her and picked idly at some sliced fruit. “Kairi, can I talk to you?”

“Of course,” she said. Her eagerness almost knocked Goofy to his knees. She was desperate to talk to someone who would listen, someone who might have a chance to bend Sora’s ear, someone who might let Sora know the truth. “What’s up?”

“Sora overheard you say you didn’t like scars,” Goofy began.

Kairi leaped on the train, the words spilling from her as though rehearsed. “I know he did,” she said. “We were at the beach and the guys were playing volleyball. I was talking to Selphie about what type of guy I liked. I didn’t know Sora was listening. I never meant for him to think that I would reject him. It’s not about Sora’s scars. It’s about him. I love him.” Kairi fumbled her fork, realizing she had blurted her confession to Goofy rather than Sora. “I, um, I mean…” She sighed heavily, twisting her fork. “I wish he would give me a chance to explain.”

“He will,” Goofy assured her.

Kairi searched his expression, hope burning in her gaze. “Has he… has he said something to you?”

Goofy palmed his mug of coffee, breathing in the steam. He tried to find the words to answer her without betraying Sora’s trust. However, he was saved from answering by Donald suddenly staggering into the kitchen, grumbling under his breath in huffs and wheezes.

“Gawrsh, Donald,” Goofy remarked. “What happened to you?”

“Too many stairs,” Donald snarked. He helped himself to some coffee and then plopped down beside Kairi. “Good morning,” he grumbled into the mug.

Kairi couldn’t help the little smile that stole across her lips. “Morning Donald,” she said brightly. “Did you sleep well?”

“Donald’s not a morning person,” Goofy explained.

Kairi dug back into her breakfast. She looked significantly perkier now that she had hope for the future. Goofy made Donald a plate and handed it over to him. The mage began eating and appeared to slowly revitalize with each bite. There was nothing to improve a long night like a great breakfast.

Yen Sid swept into the room, looking as though his rest had never been interrupted by a group of warriors in the middle of the predawn hours. Then again, his wrinkled face always looked the same. He scanned the kitchen, but didn’t move towards the coffee pot or the buffet of food that still lay out on the table.

Kairi stood at the sink, having just finished breakfast. She intended to wash the dishes as a thanks to Goofy for cooking.

However, Yen Sid said, “Don’t bother with that. You have enough on your plate.” With a wave of his hand, he set the dishes to washing themselves.

Kairi watched in awe. Sora and Riku weren’t skilled mages and she had never seen such a casual display of powerful magic.

“Come child,” Yen Sid beckoned.

Kairi stepped out of the kitchen and stared woefully down the long staircase. She needn’t have worried though. With a clap of Yen Sid’s hands, she found herself standing in the thick lawn outside the tower with Donald, Goofy, and the breakfast buffet. Abruptly, she wished that she had put on her shoes and changed out of Sora’s borrowed clothes. A cool wind whipped at her bare legs and arms, making her shiver.

However, the chill was banished by the sight of Sora and Riku, sparring together in the yard. Warmth welled in Kairi’s chest, nearly choking her with the desire to cry out Sora’s name, but she swallowed it and just watched. Like when they had played volleyball, they were a force to be reckoned with, but in different ways. It reminded Kairi of when Sora and Riku used to spar with wooden swords, though Sora had improved vastly. Riku almost looked as though he was struggling to keep up.

Riku’s stance was high compared to Sora’s. He had had some training when he was a child and those basics of combat gave him strength. His blows were heavy and sweeping, able to take down a Heartless with a single swing. Sora didn’t have a foundation to build on, but he went forward with confidence. He used the Keyblade as an extension of his body, using it to push off the ground or hook low branches. Sora was far quicker, nearly flying, bouncing off Riku with glancing blows but not wasting his energy.

King Mickey watched from the sidelines as well, hands pushed deep in his pockets.

Yen Sid studied them all, his gaze weighing heavy on Kairi when he stared at her. She felt almost naked.

Goofy stepped close to Kairi, shielding her from the wind. Donald took up a position on her other side. She could feel the heat radiating from their bodies and smiled gratefully.

Abruptly, Sora realized that Kairi was standing there with the others, watching him. She looked beautiful, her crimson hair tousled in the breeze and her creamy skin aglow in the sunlight. She was wearing his shorts and shirt, something that Sora hadn’t really thought about until that exact moment. The world around him felt as though it was slowing down, drawing all his attention to her. Oathkeeper flickered to life in his hand.

Immediately, Riku got in a lucky shot that caught Sora under the ribs.

Winded, it was only muscle memory that made Sora flip himself upright and land on his feet in the grass.

“Sora!” Riku shouted with alarm.

“I’m fine,” Sora called, rubbing his chest.

Yen Sid stepped between them, whisking the bruise from Sora’s torso with a pass of his fingers. He walked until he was before Mickey. To his pupil, he said, “Come. I wish to speak with you—master to master.”

Mickey nodded, set down his coffee, and followed Yen Sid back into the tower.

Sora hung back, hesitating, even though Kairi was right in front of him. He shuffled his feet, nervous beyond reason.

Riku, however, didn’t hesitate. He closed the space between them and squeezed Kairi tight in his arms. “Are you okay?” he asked quickly.

“Fine,” Kairi assured him, running her hands over his back. “Are you?”

A watery laugh escaped Riku’s lips. “I almost killed you and you’re worried about me?”

“You weren’t going to kill me,” Kairi told him sternly. “I knew you’d come back.”

The flicker of doubt that crossed Riku’s face shook Kairi to the core, but it was gone as quickly as it came. “Thank you,” he said to her. “I’m… I’m sorry about what I said.”

Kairi glanced at Sora, still lingering a distance from them both. “It’s okay,” she murmured. “There’s… some truth to it, isn’t there?”

Riku turned his head, looking over his shoulder at Sora. “Maybe, but… Sora wants to talk to you.”

“Really?”

“Give him time,” Riku said. “Let him come to you, okay?” He hugged Kairi again and then slipped past her, calling to Donald and Goofy for a sparring session.

Donald grumbled, but followed Riku around the bend in the tower to give Sora and Kairi privacy.

Goofy lingered a moment longer, his gaze flitting between Kairi and Sora.

Sora gestured for Goofy to go, unable to find his voice.

The knight turned and went as well.

Kairi found herself standing alone with Sora, the distance between them stretching like something from a nightmare. Sora didn’t move, neither closer nor farther away. Kairi felt as though she had had this dream before. She often woke, her heart pounding, with some unknowable dread in her heart. Usually, she read Sora’s letter then. Now, she didn’t have that option.

She didn’t let herself run to Sora and throw her arms around him. She remained where she was, clenching her teeth against the biting wind. Her exposed skin was cold to the touch, covered with goosebumps, and she clenched her teeth to keep them from chattering. Finally, a shudder ran through her whole body and she wrapped her arms tight around herself. She wasn’t going to miss this opportunity to talk with Sora—not now.

The instant she shivered, Sora closed the space between them. “Sorry,” he said hastily. “I didn’t even think about—” He started to pull off his armored jacket, but doing so would expose his scarred shoulders. He hesitated, searching Kairi’s face for a sign. She showed no disgust or fear. Sora removed the jacket and held it out to her.

Gratefully, Kairi slipped her arms into it and held it tight across her chest. “Thank you.” It was still warm from his body.

Sora forced himself not to slap his palm over the exposed scar on his forearm or shrink from her gaze. He knew she could see the slashes and burns on his bared shoulders, stretching beneath the fabric of his undershirt and across his back. He swallowed, reminding himself of everything Goofy and Riku had said. “Do you want to go inside?”

Kairi shook her head, nestling deeper into his jacket. “You look happy, Sora,” she murmured. “Do you feel better… having left?”

Sora shuffled, hesitating. “I needed time.”

“That’s okay,” Kairi murmured. “I know… I know I could never hope to understand what you went through and I want you to have all the time you need, but I… I want you to know that I…”

Sora flinched.

Kairi steeled herself. “I know you’re not ready to talk about it and I don’t want to push you, but I just want you to know that I… I love you, Sora. I always have and I always will.”

Sora’s head snapped up, his blue eyes wide with surprise.

Kairi tucked some hair behind her ear, blushing. “I just… I had to tell you that, even if you aren’t ready.” All at once, she wanted to turn and flee. She couldn’t take the look on Sora’s face, as though he had never expected these words to come from her lips, as though he had never expected to be loved—as though he truly thought of himself as damaged goods. She should have been better. She should have told him right from the start.

Another cold breeze whipped between them and Kairi shivered.

Sora closed the space between them before he could stop himself. He tugged Kairi to his chest gently, giving her time to push him away if she didn’t want this. However, she crumbled into his embrace, burying her face into his neck. Her arms went around him, holding tight, as though he was going to blow away if she didn’t. Sora breathed in the scent of her skin, her hair, her body. She was small and sweet against him.

After a long moment, Kairi nudged away and looked up into his face. Her hands trailed down his back and she felt the bumps and crags of scars beneath his clothing.

Sora shuddered at the feeling.

Kairi withdrew her touch, holding his hands cautiously between them.

“I just want you to be happy,” Sora murmured to the grass.

“Sora,” Kairi insisted. She squeezed his hands comfortingly. She wanted to shake him. “I will be happy if I'm with you.”

He gazed into her eyes and he looked lost, young, small—so much the boy who had been unexpectedly saddled with the weight of the world.

“I know you heard what you heard, but… it’s not about scars. It’s not about your body, I promise. I promise it’s just about you. I love you.”

Sora threaded his fingers through hers and Kairi felt the roughened calluses on his palm. “I… I asked Riku already, but I would like it if you both traveled with me for a little while.”

A bright smile pulled at Kairi’s lips. She hadn’t really been able to enjoy visiting all the worlds with Riku as they searched desperately for Sora. Traveling with Sora, seeing all the things he had seen with him at her side, would be a dream come true. She squeezed his hand. “I would love to,” she told him.

Sora looked surprised again and it tugged Kairi’s heartstrings. She had done so wrong by him, letting him think she didn’t want him, but a winning smile quickly overtook his face. “Great.”

Around the bend of the tower, there was a sudden explosion of thunder.

Sora jumped, startled by the commotion.

Donald’s voice rose above the cacophony.

Kairi laughed and towed Sora towards the noise. “Let’s check in on them before someone gets hurt.”

Sora didn’t follow immediately. He remained where he was and his weight turned her around like a ship at anchor.

Kairi studied him. “Sora?” Her eyes caught on a starburst of scar tissue on his shoulder, but she quickly brought her gaze to his face. “Something wrong?”

“No,” he said and caught up to her in a few strides. “Nothing.” His hand was warm in hers.

…

Goofy was pleased that Sora and Kairi were finally getting a chance to talk. This whole thing was a misunderstanding that had gotten so far out of control that it was exhausting. However, he wasn’t delighted to be spending time with Riku. While he still recalled Kairi fondly from their first meeting in Hollow Bastion, his first interaction with Riku had been seeing Riku rend the Keyblade from Sora’s hands, attack Sora when he didn’t even have a weapon to defend himself, and finally give himself completely into the darkness for more power. Riku wasn’t Goofy’s favorite person.

Though Goofy tried to look past Riku’s mistakes, it was difficult. In his darkest dreams, he imagined what might have happened to Sora had Donald and Goofy not been there. Would Riku have killed him? Goofy could still feel Riku’s blow—the one intended for unarmed Sora—shattering against his shield. That had felt like a killing blow, but Goofy supposed he would never know for certain.

Riku had redeemed himself little by little in the time that followed. Riku had stayed with the King in the Realm of Darkness, he had tried to help while Sora slept, he had left them hints while hiding himself, and he had supported Sora when the fight was over. However, Riku was too close to the darkness. His love for Sora bordered on weakness rather than strength.

For Goofy, when he looked at Riku, he would always see the jealous boy who had ripped something precious from Sora’s heart, who had attacked his unarmed friend, who had traded everything for power.

However, for the first time, Goofy found himself in the position to take advantage of a friendly spar with Riku so that Kairi and Sora could be alone. He wanted the noise to prevent Donald from eavesdropping and Riku had already suggested it. It was the perfect opportunity to lay a subtle threat between them.

Riku drew his Keyblade. It flickered a moment between Soul Eater and Way to Dawn.

At that sight, Goofy thought for just a moment that this wasn’t a great idea.

“Bring it on,” Riku called to him, cocky as the Keyblade settled.

Riku thought Goofy and Donald were nothing but sidekicks. While it was true that only the Keyblade could finish off the Heartless completely, Goofy and Donald were soldiers in the King’s army. They were powerful in their own right and Goofy grinned. A quick glance at Donald revealed that the mage was idle, probably not planning to put much effort into a friendly spar, but once Donald caught wind of Goofy’s plan, he was certain his friend would join him full-force.

“Ready?” Goofy called politely.

Riku huffed a little. He had just finished sparring with Sora and barely broken a sweat—to say nothing of the fact that Sora hadn’t been fighting near close to his full strength, either. “I’m ready,” he shouted to Goofy when the guard showed no sign of attacking him. “Come—”

Riku didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence.

Goofy was on him like a rocket, shield whirling like a power drill. The angry monster face of Goofy’s favored shield chomped down inches from Riku’s face with a snap. It was all Riku could do to dodge, landing hard with his heels pressed against the wall of the mysterious tower. Startled, his heart pounded.

Goofy didn’t press his advantage. He stood where Riku had been, shield slung idly over his shoulder. “Sorry,” Goofy called to Riku with a laugh. “Gawrsh, I thought you said you were ready.”

Riku pushed off the tower and paced forward, putting a little space between himself and Goofy. “I was,” he told Goofy shortly. “You just surprised me.”

Donald laughed.

Riku ignored the mage and took of his stance, Keyblade high. His raised arm created a blind spot and Goofy filled it immediately, landing a wrenching blow into Riku’s ribcage. Riku whirled aside, bringing his Keyblade down on Goofy’s exposed back. At least, that had been what he had planned to do. A ball of fire, cast by Donald, filled the space. Goofy skidded away, using his shield at a makeshift sled, propelled by the heated air. The fire exploded like a bomb, throwing Riku backwards with a crash. Winded, he found that the pair of them were waiting patiently for him to right himself.

“Friendly spar, my ass,” Riku muttered.

Donald and Goofy were making it pretty clear that they could trounce him whenever they pleased by not pressing their advantages. Immediately, he felt the urge to reach into the darkness. His Keyblade flickered into Soul Eater and back. Riku shook himself and forced Way to Dawn forefront. He didn’t need the dark, he told himself. He was strong enough without it.

A tiny voice whispered that he wasn’t. It called hungrily for him.

Riku lunged towards Goofy in a full-frontal assault, but was deflected easily by Goofy’s shield. Skidding in the dew-slick grass, Riku turned around gracefully. His Keyblade flew from his hand, a move he had learned from Sora. Erroneously, he realized that Donald and Goofy knew Sora’s moves better than he did. In the moment before the Keyblade returned to his outstretched hand, Donald jabbed the point of his staff into Riku’s solar plexus. Gasping, Riku was forced back and missed catching the Keyblade. It whirled on a second path, glancing off Goofy’s shield again.

Riku caught the Keyblade, but Goofy pressed in on him. The monstrous face snapped again, hot breath on Riku’s cheeks. Riku somersaulted backwards, landing in a crouch. He tried to return to his stance and glimpsed a flare of light in his blind spot. Lightning surged there, crackling. Riku dove away as it exploded, singeing his back. He lay face-down in the grass, panting.

The Way to Dawn flickered. How could he be losing?

Suddenly, it was all he could do to prevent the darkness from spilling out.

Healing light washed over him.

The smoke cleared and he realized Goofy was leaning over him. He put away his Keyblade before they could see his struggle to contain Soul Eater.

“You okay?” Goofy asked, helping him up.

“Fine,” Riku said. An excuse bubbled up. “I’m still weak from the darkness.”

Goofy looked at him knowingly.

Donald stamped out a few rebellious sparks, grinding his foot over them.

Riku felt that the ferocious gesture was directed at him. He was all at once irritated, frightened, and warmed from the inside out. It was wonderful to know that Sora had such great friends, friends that had stood by him when Riku and Kairi couldn’t. It was terrifying to know how much power they both had, power that they were prepared to use in defense of Sora if need be. Riku was still angry—angry at himself—that anyone who loved Sora felt they needed to pass on that message to him.

Goofy brushed some wet grass off Riku.

From around the corner of the tower, Sora and Kairi appeared. They were holding hands, Kairi wore Sora’s jacket, and Sora’s scarred shoulders were on display.

Goofy couldn’t help but grin as he went to meet them.

Any conversation was cut off by Yen Sid and Mickey materializing in a puff of smoke. Yen Sid took one look at the scorched grass and dented tower. He didn’t need to shout at them. The thunderous look on his face was enough. “Just what to you think you are doing to my home?”

Goofy shuffled his feet, abashed by his behavior. Donald straightened up, prepared for the consequences. Sora glanced between them, wondering where to step in for his share of the blame.

Riku, however, interrupted Yen Sid fearlessly. “It was my fault,” he said, “I started it.”

Goofy studied the boy from the side.

Riku glanced at Goofy, even as Yen Sid scolded him.

Goofy saw the truth and apology in Riku’s gaze. Pleased, Goofy agreed to help him clean up the yard and Sora quickly joined them.

Though Yen Sid could have repaired the yard in an instant with magic, he chose not to on principal and left the foolish children to their clean-up. Just when he was beginning to have hope for the future again, they go and do something like this. Whirling away, he was about to have another word with Mickey when he saw the expression on his pupil’s face. Mickey was smiling for the first time since the entourage had arrived. Hope and happiness lit Mickey’s eyes. Yen Sid glanced at the children again, watching as Kairi and Donald joined the clean-up. Shaking his head, he walked away with a smile twitching on his lips.

XXX

Questions, comments, concerns? 


	8. Visits and Vacations

Oh, I am a mess.

XXX

With so many hands, cleaning up Yen Sid’s lawn took little time. Before they knew it, the morning sun was high overhead and it was baking warm. Part of Kairi wanted to take off Sora’s armored jacket, but part of her didn’t want to see him put it back on. He was chattering, laughing freely, with the others. The skin on his shoulders was damaged, but Kairi found her eyes drawn there for a different reason each time. She could see his muscles moving beneath his skin as he worked. She wanted to press kisses there—to his old hurts, to his muscles, to his caramel skin. She blamed her flush on the heat.

When they finished, Yen Sid prepared a magical lunch with a wave of his hand. Starving despite the elaborate breakfast Goofy had prepared, Kairi dove into the meal and stuffed herself. Sora ate similarly. Donald and Goofy took their time, marveling at the flavors and spices until Sora slowed his eating in response. Mickey and Yen Sid ate little, but Riku ate the least. Kairi saw him venture a few bites and then spend his time pushing the food around his plate. She swallowed, the spice turning to ash. She knew how he felt, what he must have been thinking and feeling, but she didn’t say anything to him.

Yen Sid washed the dishes the same way he had done the breakfast clean-up and walked the entourage to the front door. Though he wasn’t one for lengthy goodbyes, he did hug Sora, squeeze Mickey’s hand, and kiss the air alongside Kairi’s cheek. He bid farewell to Donald and Goofy, then Riku. In a puff of smoke, he vanished and there was the sound of his door locking.

Mickey chuckled. “Master’s never been one for company. Come on. We’ve got to fetch Sora’s ship from Twilight Town.”

Kairi was relieved not to be traveling through the darkness again. She wasn’t sure Riku could take it.

Sora, Donald, and Goofy piled into the King’s Gummi Ship with a familiar ease. Riku hesitated and Kairi lingered with him.

“Everything okay?” she asked softly.

Riku nodded, but the corners of his green eyes were pinched.

Sora appeared at the door, smiling. “Come on guys.”

Kairi hurried after him, taking his hand when he offered it. His palm was rough but so warm.

Riku ambled up and then the door shut with a hiss.

Mickey had taken the controls. The engine hummed to life and the ship bobbed beneath their feet, not unlike the watercraft that Kairi was used to on the island. However, when the engines engaged, propelling them into the void between worlds, she stumbled into Sora. He was quick to steady her, holding her to his side as the ship weaved through the world’s defenses and finally evened out once they were well-and-truly in space.

“Whoa,” Kairi remarked.

“First time flying?” Sora asked her.

“Yeah,” she said. “We traveled through the Corridors of Darkness while we were looking for you.”

Sora’s blue eyes darted guiltily, lingered on Riku, and then returned to Kairi’s face. “Come here,” he said instead and towed her to a big round window. “Look out.”

Kairi rested her hands on the sill and stared out into the swirling colors and intermittent darkness. She could see sparkles and distant lights. “Are those all worlds?”

“Yup,” Sora told her. He pointed to one that was near enough to just make out the shape of a flying pagoda. “There’s the Land of Dragons.”

Kairi marveled, guessing at each world that came close enough to make out.

Sora settled in beside her, relaxing, until he was almost the way she remembered. His hand was just beside hers on the windowsill. Though she wanted to cover his hand with her own, hold him, feel the strength of his grip, she didn’t. She remembered what Donald, Goofy, and Riku had told her. She had to give Sora time. Let him come to her.

She recognized Twilight Town’s clock tower as it approached.

Mickey guided the ship in to dock and it bobbled beneath them. The engine noise diminished and Mickey hopped out of the captain’s seat. “Alright, everyone,” he said magnanimously, “I think it’s time we head home.”

Sora looked startled, his blue eyes widening at Mickey’s order.

Goofy stepped in quickly. “I think it’d be best if Sora makes another lap through the worlds. The balance might have been upset by Riku’s little dive into the darkness.”

Riku had the grace to look ashamed, but he didn’t apologize.

“I agree,” Mickey said.

Tension washed from Sora’s bare shoulders. “You bet,” he said brightly. “Mind if Kairi and Riku come with me?”

Mickey searched their faces, taking in the tightness around Riku’s eyes and the softening of Kairi’s mouth. “Only if they want to go,” Mickey said finally. “If either of them wants to go home, I’d be happy to drop them back at Destiny Islands.”

Riku and Kairi said in unison, “I want to go with Sora.”

Mickey couldn’t help but smile. “Then by all means, go ahead. Remember to protect the world order.”

Sora nodded habitually.

Mickey hugged Riku and Kairi in turn, the pressure of his small arms surprisingly fierce. To Riku, it felt like the same warning Donald and Goofy had given him. He accepted the threat, knowing he deserved it, vowing silently to himself that he would be better. To Kairi, she felt his belief giving her strength. She welcomed his support, hope buoying her heart for the first time since she had set out on this search for Sora. Maybe everything would work out.

When Mickey hugged Sora, it looked like Sora took strength from the king as well. Mickey held Sora’s hands for a moment, speaking to him in a low voice. Sora’s expression was sorrowful but then he smiled and it was like light coming on. Goofy and Donald embraced him messily. Donald ruffled his hair and Goofy bid him take care of himself.

To Kairi, Goofy said, “Be careful.” His inflection was that Sora was fragile, delicate, and that he still needed time.

Kairi nodded in understanding. “Thank you,” she said.

Goofy smiled and hugged her.

To Riku, Goofy said, “Be careful.” It sounded more like a warning than guidance—about what, Kairi couldn’t be certain. Was it the darkness or Sora that Riku needed to handle with care?

Donald hopped up, hugged Kairi, and gave her a few potions. He shook Riku’s hand.

Then, their ship roared off for Disney Castle and disappeared into the sunset.

“We’ll meet them at Disney Castle in two weeks,” Sora told Kairi and Riku. “Until then, we’re free as birds.”

“Not quite,” Riku put in.

Sora immediately sobered, shuffling his feet. He looked nervous—too nervous.

Kairi turned to face Riku, annoyed that he had upset Sora already.

However, Riku continued, “We have to talk to Hayner, Pence, and Olette before we go anywhere. I’m sure we gave them quite a scare last time and I need to apologize.”

Sora nodded readily. “Good idea,” he said. His smile brightened. “We can get ice cream while we’re here. They have the best flavor!”

Kairi fell into step beside Sora as he led them on a winding path first through the market, then the underground, and finally the alleys of Twilight Town. Just when she was beginning to think they were completely lost, Sora swept aside a curtain and welcomed them into a little area decorated with posters and photographs. There was a beat-up couch, several boxes as make-shirt chairs, and a scuffed coffee table. Hayner, Pence, and Olette were seated there, chatting. They all looked up when the trio entered and their conversation died.

For a moment, Kairi didn’t know what was going to happen. Were they upset—at her, at Riku, at Sora?

Then, Olette jumped up with a squeal. She threw her arms around Kairi and hugged her rightly. “You’re okay!” she shouted. “Thank goodness. I’ve been so worried about you!”

Hayner punched Riku in the arm companionably. “I heard what happened. Are you okay?”

Pence greeted Sora with a handshake and then a quick hug. “You found them,” he said cheerfully. “I’m so glad.”

Olette released Kairi, gripping her hands. “Are you okay? Were you hurt?”

“I’m fine,” Kairi assured her.

Riku stepped forward, his footsteps heavy.

Conversation dried up as Hayner, Pence, and Olette stared at him.

Riku bent at the waist, his silver hair curtaining his face, as he bowed to them. “I wanted to apologize,” he began, “for putting you all through this.”

Sora just stared at Riku, his mouth agape.

Olette broke from her trance first. “Don’t mention it,” she said. “We’re just glad you’re okay.”

“Enough of that,” Hayner said, embarrassed.

Pence smoothed it all over. “Let’s get some ice cream then—your treat, to make it up to us.”

Riku straightened up, smiling. “That’s fair.”

…

After spending the day running around Twilight Town, after fighting to get Riku back from the darkness just the day before, after going through so much physically and emotionally, Kairi was exhausted. Once she, Riku, and Sora were aboard the Gummi Ship and the world was behind them, Kairi sank into the seat beside Sora with a sigh. She tried to pay attention to him, to the flight, to the story he was telling her about his very first flight and subsequent crash. However, in only a few minutes, she had dipped her head back against the seat, intent to listen, and had nodded off instead.

“Sora,” Riku said with a smile, interrupting him. “Look.”

Sora turned and felt his heart warm.

Kairi was so pretty, her face smooth with dreams. She looked young, more like the girl he had fallen in love with and less the worried person he had made her.

“She’s exhausted,” Riku said. “We should put her to bed or she’ll have a hell of a cramp in the morning.”

“I got her,” Sora offered. He passed control of the Gummi Ship to Riku and gathered Kairi in his arms. She mumbled in her sleep, burrowing her face into the bare curve of his shoulder. She hadn’t relinquished his jacket all day and Sora had caught her looking at him throughout. However, there was something different in her expression now or maybe he was just noticing it for the first time.

Holding her tight in his arms, Sora carried her to his room at the rear of the ship. It was only meant to sleep one, but there was an overstuffed couch in the living room and someone had to fly the ship anyway. Sora settled her amidst his blankets, resting her head on the pillow and tugging the sheets up to her chin. She murmured, fingers latching on his wrist, and he gently pried her off.

“Goodnight,” he said softly.

Riku was waiting for him, faced forward and tense.

Sora didn’t ask what was bothering him. It wasn’t really something he had the strength to deal with right now. He just took his seat back and flipped the controls back. “You can get some sleep on the couch, Riku,” he offered. “I’m okay for a while.”

Riku rose from his chair.

Sora was surprised that Riku was going to listen to him without complaint.

However, Riku put the ship on autopilot, grasped Sora’s chair, and spun him around to face him.

“Riku?” Sora asked, searching his friend’s ocean-colored eyes.

“I need to apologize to you,” Riku said forcefully. “I handled this all wrong.”

Sora fumbled, suddenly wishing he had something to do with his hands. “Riku, no,” he said. “No. You don’t have to apologize—”

Riku dropped to his knees at Sora’s feet, squeezing his hands. “When we first started this, Aerith tried to tell me, but I was desperate.” A frenzy of emotion whirled inside Riku’s expression. “I didn’t think about your feelings—not once.”

Sora hushed him, bending to coil his smaller form around Riku. “Don’t cry,” Sora whispered. “I hate it when you cry. I forgive you, Riku. I forgive you.”

Riku embraced Sora tightly, feeling his friend’s body against his own. Sora carded his fingers through Riku’s short hair, scratching his scalp, burying Riku’s face into his shoulder. Though Riku was older and stronger, Sora was just… so much more. He was more than Riku could ever be. Sora held him tightly, as though he could squeeze Riku back together with the pressure of his arms alone. Though Riku didn’t want to admit it, lest Sora let go, it seemed to be working. After a long while, his tears dried and he felt Sora loosen his grip.

“Thank you,” Riku breathed. “Sora, thank you.”

Sora smiled his trademark smile.

Riku saw a scar on his throat, just at the junction of his neck and shoulder. It looked like a bite. Riku wanted to press his mouth there, to soothe Sora’s hurts with kisses and caresses, but that wasn’t his place. That was what Kairi was for. Instead, Riku got back to his feet and took over the controls.

“You should rest,” Riku told Sora. “You look tired. I’ll fly for a while.”

“Where will you fly to?” Sora asked.

“Anywhere you want,” Riku told him. “Anywhere at all.”

Thoughtfully, Sora regarded Riku. He plugged in a destination by longitude and latitude so that Riku couldn’t tell where. Then, he bid Riku goodnight and stretched out on the couch. It wasn’t long before Sora fell asleep and started to snore. Riku flew well into the night, waking Sora only when he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer. Sora took over sleepily, rousing as he fit himself into the captain’s chair. Riku stretched out on the couch, still warm from Sora’s body and smelling of his skin. For the first time in months, since Sora had left, Riku slept without nightmares.

…

When Kairi woke in the morning, she found herself in Sora’s bed. She rolled over, half-hoping that Sora would be lying beside her, but he was too much of a gentleman for that. With a groan, she hoisted herself out of his bed, pulled the covers back up, and headed into the core of the Gummi Ship. Sora was at the controls and Riku was asleep on the couch. His silver hair spilled over the arm and Kairi gingerly ran her fingers through his tresses. Riku mumbled and shifted, but his face was smooth in dreams. She couldn’t remember the last time she had seen him sleeping so peacefully.

“Good morning, Kairi,” Sora said lightly.

Kairi paced over to him, unable to help the way her heart fluttered at his closeness. She still had his jacket so she could see the scars on his upper shoulders and biceps. She reached to touch his skin, caught herself, and stuffed her hands in the pockets of his jacket before he noticed. “Good morning. Did you get any sleep?”

“Plenty,” Sora said. “Riku flew most of the night.”

Kairi glanced at Riku, slumbering on the couch. “He needs the rest,” she said softly. “He’s been running himself ragged.”

“We’ll take it easy,” Sora said. “I know just the place.”

Excited, Kairi peered out the wind shield. “Where are we going?”

Sora grinned at her. “Try to guess.”

Outside the Gummi Ship’s view, there was nothing but crystal-clear ocean for miles around, disappearing over the curve of the world. For a moment, Kairi’s heart stopped. Had Sora brought them back to Destiny Islands? Was he not ready to see them, not ready to be with them after all? Then, a great massive hawk with a human-looking face swooped by outside the ship. There were no birds like that on Destiny Island. Kairi’s excitement came roaring back. Before she could stop herself, she grabbed Sora’s shoulders and shook him eagerly.

“What was that?” she asked. “Where are we? Tell me!”

Sora laughed. He didn’t bat her hands away and let her continue to shake him. “You’ll see.”

Kairi stopped shaking him and instead rested her hands on his shoulders absently as she peered outside. The ocean flashed by, sparkling like a jewel in the bright high sun. There were no landmarks, nothing to indicate where Sora had brought them. Was that a giant crab? She felt something under her thumb and gently stroked it, feeling the texture, back and forth, as she scoured the horizon.

Sora shuddered beneath her touch.

Abruptly, Kairi realized that she was touching one of his scars, gingerly rubbing her thumb over and over the once-damaged skin. She almost snatched her hands away in horror—for Sora, not because of the scar. How insensitive of her—after everything he had been through and here she was just touching his scar like it was nothing. However, besides the faint tremble at her touch, Sora wasn’t reacting negatively. He didn’t protest or give away any emotions. He sat beneath her hands, still and careful, his breathing measured. He was waiting to see what she would do.

A thousand scenarios flashed through Kairi’s head and she suddenly had to focus on not altering the tempo of her touches lest he realize that she was aware. Should she lean down and kiss his scar? Should she stop touching him? Should she apologize, should she ask how he had gotten this one, should she say anything at all? Maybe she should stop. Maybe she should pretend she had never touched him. Maybe she should…

Behind them, Riku groaned as he woke and the moment was taken from Kairi.

Sora turned in his seat to look at Riku, breaking her measured touch. “Morning,” he greeted.

Riku smiled and creaked off the couch, cracking his neck with a groan. “Where are we?”

“Sora won’t tell me,” Kairi said petulantly.

Riku made his way over to them and looked outside at the endless ocean. In the distance, vibrant green islands were beginning to appear but that did little to narrow down their destination.

“Do you know, Riku?” Sora asked cheekily.

Riku gave a big shrug. “Not a clue.”

Sora laughed and the sound took a weight off Kairi’s mind. It felt so good to hear him laugh again.

“You’ll see soon enough,” Sora said. “Get cleaned up and change into something you can swim in.”

Olette had given Kairi the bag she had left behind when she raced off to save Riku so Kairi now had her own clothes to wear again, but she loathed to return Sora’s jacket. After donning her bikini and a clean dress, however, Kairi could see no reason to keep it from him any longer. Riku was in the bathroom, freshening up. He had lost his clothes in the Realm of Darkness and had to purchase some things in Twilight Town the day before. Kairi was looking forward to seeing him in the odd assortment of tourist t-shirts and trunks. However, there was no audience for her conversation with Sora as she offered his jacket back to him.

“Here,” she said softly. “Your jacket.”

Something danced in Sora’s cerulean eyes as he took it from her. He seemed to be trying very hard to keep eye contact with her, to keep his face expressionless, while he fought for some courage. “Do you… want me to put it back on?”

Kairi’s heart clenched. She thought of what she had said that started all of this, of the bandage on his arm, of how he had gotten sick of hiding and ran from her—from both of them. “No,” she said firmly and then continued, “Only if you want to. Only if it makes you uncomfortable for me to see them. Sora, I… I don’t ever want to make you uncomfortable. I don’t want you to feel like you have to look a certain way for me. Please, don’t, okay?”

Sora fingered the plates of armor in the shoulders. He took a deep breath as though he was going to say something difficult, but then shook his head. Kairi saw him lift his smile like a shield. “I’m going to change,” he said. “Will you fly the ship? Just keep going towards that.” He pointed to a little flashing indicator on the windshield.

Kairi nervously slipped into his seat. “What if I crash into something?”

Sora cast his eyes at the miles of open ocean and distant islands. “Somehow, I think you’ll be okay, Kairi.”

She made a face and gripped the controls.

Sora walked away and she heard his bedroom door close.

A moment later, Riku emerged from the bathroom. He looked suitably odd in his red plaid swim trunks and his white t-shirt with dog bones all over it.

Kairi started to snicker.

“Don’t,” Riku snapped. “Don’t say anything.”

She clammed up, focusing on the distant island. “Do you know where we are?”

“Like I told Sora, not a clue,” Riku said and flopped into the seat beside her.

The island was closer now—near enough that they could make out grass huts and a few golden-skinned people. There was that human-faced bird again, swooping close to the ship and then touching down in the little village. There was a flash of light and the bird disappeared, replaced by an enormous man with wild hair and a large white hook over his shoulder. He waved vigorously.

Riku took over the ship, docking it easily, careful not to blow over any huts with the Gummi Ship’s powerful jets.

Kairi peeked out the window, looking at the village down below.

Sora felt the ship dock and emerged from his room. He had changed into a pair of swim trunks and a tank top that left his shoulders bare. Kairi wasn’t sure if she should be happy that he hadn’t put his jacket back on or sad that he hadn’t been able to forgo his shirt entirely. Barefoot, Sora padded to the door and beckoned them, grinning. “Come on,” he called. “I want you to meet someone.”

Riku clambered after him and Kairi followed.

They jumped smoothly down from the ship and Sora caught her hand when she stumbled in the sand. He smiled at her and looked about to say something. However, he was interrupted by a delighted shriek.

“Sora!” came a booming voice. All at once, the massive man swept Sora up in his arms and hugged him tight. “It’s good to see you! How have you been?”

“Good, Maui,” Sora squeaked. He looked tiny and helpless in the man’s large arms, but he returned the hug with equal fervor.

Maui planted Sora back on his feet and looked at Kairi and Riku. “Who might you be?”

“I’m Riku—” Unprepared, Riku didn’t even get a chance to finish before the life was squeezed out of him.

Maui crushed him in a hug too. “You’re welcome,” the big man announced.

“Maui, let him down.”

Kairi turned to face a stunning islander. The young woman had the golden skin of a sun-kissed goddess and tangled chocolate tresses that rivaled Sora’s in wildness. She wore a skirt of layered grasses and flowers, a woven band around her breasts, and a lovely shell on a braided strand. She greeted Sora more sedately, hugging him and placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Hello, I am Moana of Motunui,” she said politely. “This is Maui, our resident trickster god.”

“Hey,” Maui protested. “I saw Sora’s ship and I just had to swing in to say hello to my good buddy.”

Sora laughed and said, “It’s good to see you both. These are my friends, Riku and Kairi. Please don’t squeeze them.”

Maui looked put out.

Moana greet Riku with a handshake and then kissed Kairi’s cheek. “Welcome,” she said. “We were just about to have breakfast. Care to join us?”

“Please,” Sora said eagerly. “I’m starving.”

It was painful, Kairi thought, to watch Sora fit in so easily with everyone—with countless strangers from a thousand different worlds—when she and Riku had failed so miserably at being his friend. Moana knew nothing of their troubles and beckoned them into the large hut in the center of the village. She introduced Kairi and Riku to her parents, a selection of villagers, and one truly-stupid rooster. Everyone greeted Sora and invited him to sit with them. Graciously, Sora stayed with Kairi and Riku. They sat at the chief’s table with Moana, Maui, and her parents as bowls of fruit, smoked meats, and grains were passed hither-and-thither.

Kairi was starving and tried a little bit of everything.

Riku did the same, his eyes wide as he took in the sights all around them. Then, he focused on the rooster who was busily pecking a large rock to no avail.

Moana sprinkled a handful of seeds for him with a laugh. “Hei Hei is special,” she said by way of explanation. “So, what brings you to Motunui?”

“We’re just traveling with Sora,” Kairi told her. “Taking a little vacation before we go home.”

Moana nodded thoughtfully.

Sora nibbled a slice of mango, looking suddenly nervous.

Kairi wondered what Sora had told Moana—if he had told her that he was hiding from them, hiding his scars from the girl who he loved, hiding his suffering from his best friend. Moana’s people were golden-tanned like Sora and they were decorated in black tribal tattoos. The ink was lovely, done with a strong yet delicate hand, purposeful and meaningful. Abruptly, a thought took root in Kairi’s mind and she vowed to catch Moana alone.

“Anything unusual going on?” Sora asked.

Moana shook her head and dumped a little pile of seeds out for her pet rooster. “No, not since we restored the Heart of Te Fiti.”

“A few monsters cropped up here and there,” Maui put in. He dropped to sit beside Sora and the ground vibrated with the impact. “But I took care of them.”

Sora grinned at Maui.

“We’ll give you a tour,” Moana put in. “A lot has changed since you were here last.”

Beside Moana, Hei Hei ran out of seeds and continued pecking the rock. Riku stared at him and Sora paused to do so as well.

Moana laughed and steered him away from the stone with a gentle fingertip. “Well, not that much has changed,” she relented. “But we voyage now. We’re just stopped here for a few weeks to gather supplies and perform some repairs.”

“You’re voyagers now?” Sora asked eagerly.

Moana’s smile widened with pride. “Yup.”

“You have got to take me out on your boat,” he pleaded.

“Done and done!” Moana agreed heartily.

After breakfast, Sora dragged Riku down to the beach to look at Moana’s boat. Maui raced ahead of them, shifting into a hawk that cheekily flew ahead of them, throwing a grin over his shoulder. Then, it was on. Sora took off at a low fast glide that dragged Riku behind him. Their laughter floated back to Kairi, bouncing off the waves.

Moana started to follow, but Kairi caught her elbow. Once she had the young woman’s attention, she fumbled, “Um, Moana, could you, um…?”

Moana studied her. “Something bothering you?”

“I need a favor,” Kairi said softly. Her eyes strayed.

“What is it?” Moana asked. “If it’s in my power…”

Kairi nodded and then laid out her request.

…

Moana joined Sora, Riku, and Maui at the beach half an hour later. They were all soaked from the waves, especially Riku who seemed to have been on the losing end of a battle. Dejectedly, he waded out of the ocean and stood on the golden sand. Maui sprang out when he saw her and Sora followed, slogging, his arms loaded with shells.

“Where’s Kairi?” Sora asked.

“She’ll be along soon,” Moana told him. “What’cha got there?”

“A conch,” Sora said brightly. He held it up and the snail inside peeked out, looking shiny and droopy. “I wanted to show Kairi.”

Maui leaned his forearm on the top of Sora’s head. “You should eat it,” he said.

Moana drew a finger across her throat, trying to silence Maui.

Maui grinned wickedly.

“Eat it?” Sora repeated.

Riku lifted a brow, uncertain of where this was going. That squirmy thing didn’t look particularly tasty.

“Maui,” Moana said warningly.

“Let’s just say eating it will get you going and keep you going,” Maui told Sora with a wink.

It took all of ten seconds for Sora’s face to go from confused to candy-apple-red. He looked down at the shell in his hands, glossy and pink and suddenly bearing a resemblance to something else entirely.

“Maui!” Moana chastised.

“What?” he said, holding his hands up against her onslaught. “He can still show it to Kairi.”

“Show me what?” came Kairi’s voice as she approached.

Sora gave an undignified squeak and tossed the conch back into the waves.

Riku raised his brow even higher, watching Sora scramble. It was good to see Sora acting like himself again.

“Nothing,” Sora said hastily. He glowered at Maui.

The demi-god made a grand show of whistling nonchalantly as he waded back into the waves, fishing for the discarded conch.

“Let’s just go for a little jaunt,” Moana interrupted. “Okay?”

Sora nodded hastily and turned to smile at Kairi. “Ready to go sailing?”

“Am I ever,” Kairi said brightly.

Moana brought them to a single-hulled outrigger canoe. She jumped on nimbly, practiced and familiar with the craft. Maui transformed into a hawk again and went swooping out over the sea, his voice echoing back to them. Riku climbed aboard and stood near the mast, looking out. Sora offered Kairi his hand and helped her up before bringing her to sit at Riku’s feet. He crouched there with her, out of the way, as Moana unfurled the sail. The stiff ocean breeze wasted no time pulling them out through the breaking waves. Fine spray misted them all and Moana whooped at the boat bounced over the surf.

After spending so much time on the Destiny Island building a raft with Sora and Riku, Kairi couldn’t help but feel that she was finally accomplishing the other half of her childhood dream. Squeezing Sora’s hand, she shakily climbed to her feet and clung to the center mast until she got a feel for the turbulence. Moana’s boat cut through the waves quickly, the ocean whipped by, and the wind streamed. Sora kept Kairi steady, his legs shifting beneath him and allowing him to keep his balance while she stumbled. Riku just watched, keeping one hand on the mast.

Kairi let go of the mast tentatively, stepping out into Sora’s arms. He stood at the prow of the canoe and exchanged positions with Kairi. He held her to his chest, one hand pressed against her sternum, the other holding her arm out so she could feel the wind. She tipped her face into it, red tresses streaming, and laughed in delight. She could feel Sora smile, feel his chest expand as he breathed, feel the heat and strength of his body. She never wanted this moment to end. Maui swooped over them, his smile impish, and Moana shouted up at him.

Once they were a good distance away from the island, Moana loosened the sail and their speed diminished to a gentle glide. The ocean was smooth and calm, spreading out all around them like a jewel. The high sun baked the top of Kairi’s head and broke sweat out on the back of her neck. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, giving way to the perfect fairy-tale kind of day that Kairi had only thought existed on her island. She peered over the edge into the clear crystalline waters. She could see the sand far below, little crabs and fish swimming. It was beautiful.

“Let’s go for a swim,” Moana offered, lifting her thick dark hair off her neck with both hands. “It’s so hot.”

“Yeah,” Kairi agreed in delight.

A few feet away, Maui transformed into a shark and dropped into the water, splashing them all.

Moana didn’t waste time complaining. She shucked her grass skirt and dove immediately into the water. When she surfaced, sodden hair clinging to her face and neck, she splashed Maui in vengeance.

While they were distracted, Kairi used the opportunity to peel off her dress. Wearing her usual bikini underneath, she stretched her muscles at the prow of the canoe, preparing to dive off and into the water. She wasn’t making a big deal out of it, not really, but she wanted Sora to see—

Riku sucked in air.

“What?” came Sora’s voice.

The little boat rocked beneath Kairi’s feet and she stumbled backwards. Sora’s hand flit, barely touching her enough to steady her, and then darting away.

“Kairi, you—what’s that?” Sora breathed.

Kairi glanced over her shoulder at him, resting her hands on her hips. She hadn’t gotten a chance to see it since Moana didn’t have a mirror, but she had described what she wanted. So long as it was what she had hoped for, she couldn’t imagine that it looked terrible. However, Sora’s face was pale and shocked.

“You don’t like it?” she asked, unwilling to give into nerves.

“That’s—”

“A tattoo,” she said and left it hanging there.

The favor she had asked Moana for was a permanent mark on her skin just along the line of her shoulder blade. She had asked to have Sora’s Oathkeeper inked into her flesh, his crown at the center, the smooth shells sweeping into a wayfinding star, a display of the bond she had—wanted to have—with Sora. For all her talk, she decided it was time to put her money where her mouth was. She had to show Sora that he mattered more to her than any mark. Though the edges of the tattoo were tender and red, she knew it was worth every second of the pain.

Awed, Sora reached to touch, caught himself, and touched the unmarked flesh of her shoulder instead. “You,” he murmured, “that’s my—our—Oathkeeper.”

Kairi smiled at him. “It is,” she confirmed.

Sora’s smile deepened, reaching his eyes.

For a moment, she thought he might kiss her and her heartbeat quickened.

However, Moana called, “Are you coming in?” and the moment passed.

“Yeah!” Sora called.

Kairi dropped away from him, leaping backwards into the ocean in a display of grace.

Sora grabbed at the bottom of his shirt and then hesitated.

Kairi’s stomach twisted. She hadn’t thought that getting a tattoo of her own would just erase Sora’s concerns and insecurities, but a little part of her hoped that it would.

After a moment, Sora awkwardly dropped his shirt and ran a hand through his hair. He looked about to make excuses, like he did back on the island, about why he couldn’t swim. Kairi swam back over to the boat, protests and empty pleas already forming on her tongue. However, Riku took matters into his own hands. Without removing his ridiculous tourist-tee from Twilight Town, he dove into the ocean. The material clung to him, but gave nothing away.

“Come on, Sora,” Riku called jovially. “Unless you’ve forgotten how to swim.”

Nothing encouraged Sora like a challenge. Without removing his shirt, he gratefully dove in after Riku and Kairi.

They frolicked together, feeling truly better for the first time since this had all happened.

Kairi dove as deep as she could, trying to bring up colorful shells, but couldn’t hold her breath near as long as Sora. Sora delighted in showing off for her, diving deep and coming back up with clams and crabs of all colors and sizes. Maui swam over with a massive conch shell, the little snail just peeking out, and wagged his brows at Sora. With a stifled shriek, Sora batted it away.

Riku raced Sora and lost, raced Moana and lost, and then lost spectacularly to Maui. Dejected, he paddled back over to the boat and heaved himself up. He flopped onto the deck, spreading out and soaking up the sunlight after his dive into darkness. Maui swam over to him and jumped fully onto the boat, jostling Riku violently. However, after that, the two of them settled down into conversation.

Moana waited until Sora ventured over to join them before approaching Kairi. “How did it go?” she asked.

“Good,” Kairi said thoughtfully. “I think that it worked out just the way I was hoping.”

“Glad I could help,” Moana said, treading water beside Kairi. “Sora is… an absolute sweetheart. I want to see him happy.”

Kairi’s chest tightened and she turned to face Moana.

There was no threat in the young woman’s face, just an honesty that Kairi had seen in Goofy’s face as well. All these people loved Sora and just wanted what was best for him. Kairi worked hard to put away her own doubts and insecurities. Sora was what mattered now. She was going to do all that she could to make him happy.

She promised as much to Moana.

…

After a long day of boating and swimming, Kairi was happy to be back on dry land. They ate another meal with Moana’s tribe and Kairi lost herself in conversation with Maui. The demi-god has lived a long fascinating life and was capable of many great feats. However, none was apparently so great as the one he had accomplished with Moana, restoring the Heart of Te Fiti. Kairi studied Moana from the side, thinking that no matter how fleeting their lives were to someone like Maui, Moana now had a certain kind of immortality in the tales the demi-god would weave of her. In his skin, there was an ode to Moana and her bravery.

“How was your first tattoo?” Maui asked as they finished up.

“It hurt,” Kairi said, “but I’ve been though worse.” Her gaze strayed to Sora, to the bands of scars still visible over the top of his tank top. “The one I love has been through much worse than that.”

Maui nodded thoughtfully.

After dinner, Kairi helped clean up and then wandered outside to where a massive bonfire was burning to keep away the tropical chill. She saw Riku sitting in its glow with Moana and Maui, but there was no sign of Sora. Part of her twisted, but she took a deep breath and headed into the revelry regardless. She made her way over to Riku after a few minutes.

“Have you seen Sora?” she asked.

“He’s waiting for you,” Maui said and tipped his chin towards the beach.

“Thanks,” Kairi said. She headed away from the bonfire, feeling the chill close around her.

Sora was a silhouette against the moon, standing at the edge of the sea. Kairi stood for a long moment, just watching him, wondering what he was thinking and what he was feeling. It was only when Sora turned to look at her, his blue eyes luminous in the moonlight, that she closed the rest of the space between them. Sora had donned his armored jacket, but it was cool and Kairi couldn’t blame him. She wished she had a jacket of her own. Instead, she folded her arms around herself and stood close at his side.

“Thank you,” Sora said softly.

“For what?” she asked.

“For bringing me back, for waiting for me, for following me,” he murmured. His gaze flit over her, lingering at her shoulder where the new tattoo still ached. “For everything, Kairi.”

Kairi reached for his hand and he welcomed her into his arms instead, squeezing her close.

“I love you,” he breathed out.

Tears pricked her eyes and her heart sputtered in her chest like a fire flickering to life. “I love you too,” she whispered.

Sora gently touched her cheek, tipping her head up to look at him. His eyes were like lanterns, glowing, open and warm. Slowly, timidly, he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her. It was just a chaste brush of lips, something as fragile and sweet as a butterfly touching down. Kairi did her best not to clutch him, not to beg for more. She only rose onto her tip toes, seeking out a second kiss. Sora hesitated and then came back to her.

His second kiss was harder, deeper, more desperate, like he might lose her if he didn’t hold on tight. He could taste her now, feel her breath between them, feel her heartbeat against his own. Kairi opened beneath his kiss like the petals of a flower welcoming him the way she would welcome the sun. He found himself clinging to her, pressing her body flush against his own. Her lips parted and a breathless sound escaped.

Sora let go of his fears and just gave himself over to her. His kiss grew less clutching, more caressing, more passionate. He slipped his fingers into Kairi’s silken hair, tugging her closer, feeling her every curve and breath. In return, Kairi clung to his shoulders. She couldn’t feel his scars, not with his armored jacket in the way. She wondered if he had planned it that way. She kissed him deeper, hoping that he could tell that she really loved him, truly and deeply, madly.

Breathless, Sora broke the kiss. He rested his forehead against hers, breathing in her breath. Her eyes were full of love and hope. He hadn’t realized that hope had ever left her. Had he taken it from her, taken it when he left? He kissed her again, tenderly, like an apology. She cupped his face, thumbs stroking his cheekbones and sliding into his hair. She pulled him close, her tongue coming to dance with his.

He could taste sweet fruit and smoked meats on her. Her kiss filled him up as though he was a starving man. He felt full—of her, of love and safety, of happiness and warmth. He felt better, even when her hands slipped down his back and hugged him tightly. He didn’t stop to wonder if she could feel the damage on his skin. It didn’t matter to her. He was ready to believe that.

Sora ran his hands up her back, bending her deeper into his kiss like they were in an old-fashioned movie like the kind Jack and Sally told him about. She giggled into his mouth, nipping his lower lip, and he couldn’t help but smile into her. He pecked her lips, her cheeks, her upturned face with countless kisses. The skin around her eyes was moist and tender, as though she had started to cry. He paused, looking at her curiously.

“I love you,” she said again. Her voice cracked with emotion. “I love you so much.”

Sora pulled her into his arms, holding her close. He nuzzled her, their breath mingling. She smelled so sweet and her skin was warm under his hands. It felt painful to put some space between them, bringing Kairi to stand at his side, curled under his arm and close against his side. She rested her cheek on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

She lost track of how long they stood out there, staring at the sea, listening to it like a heartbeat or a song. On a world like this, with no electricity or light pollution, the stars seemed so much closer. Kairi thought that if she reached out, she could gather all the worlds that Sora had saved into her hands and kiss them all. Instead, she leaned into him and looked up into the moon-curve of his face. His eyes glowed, the stars reflected in them. She wondered if he was thinking about all that he had done and all that he had saved.

“We should go back,” Sora said after the moon rose high and full in the sky. “Riku’s going to worry.”

Kairi didn’t disagree. She peeled herself off Sora and he interlaced their fingers, giving her an easy smile. Hand in hand, they returned to the bonfire.

Moana and her people were dancing, like birds flashing in front of the sun, like fish flashing through silver water. The air was rich with laughter and singing. Riku watched from his seat on a low log, the firelight playing on his features. He looked up when Sora and Kairi returned and Kairi thought his smile was expectant yet sad. However, he smiled at her and gave her a thumbs-up.

For his part, Sora didn’t seem to notice the edge of sorrow to Riku’s expression. Sora immediately led Kairi into a dance, his blood pounding to the beat of the drum. Though neither of them knew the steps, Kairi felt light in Sora’s arms. He danced carelessly, swirling her around the fire like he was making dreams come true. She fell into him, letting the music carry them both away.

They danced around the fire in a circle. She glimpsed Riku on one pass and he forced a smile. On the second, Kairi saw Moana pull Riku to his feet and bring him into the dance. Then, Kairi let herself stop worrying about Riku. She and Sora would always be there for him and he knew that. Maui bobbed between them all, his large form blocking out the firelight like a passing eclipse.

Finally, as the moon reached its zenith, Moana’s father clapped his hands and called for the dancing to stop. After all, there was still work to be done tomorrow. They couldn’t forget all that they needed to accomplish just because Sora had come to visit. Sheepishly, Moana and the villagers returned to their boats or huts to sleep. Maui transformed into a bird and flew away, leaving the clean-up for Moana.

For their part, Sora, Riku, and Kairi made themselves comfortable around the roaring fire. It would burn well into the night and someone needed to watch it regardless. Alone for the first time since they had arrived, the trio settled in on a borrowed blanket with the fire to warm them. Sora dropped between them, his shoulder resting against Riku’s, while Kairi curled into the bend of his body.

“Thank you,” Sora said to Riku, “for coming after me.”

Riku leaned his forehead into Sora’s. “No problem,” he said and then softly admitted, “I’ll always come after you, no matter what.”

Sora hugged Riku, one-armed, Kairi under the other. Exhausted, from swimming and dancing, it didn’t take Sora long to fall asleep.

Kairi and Riku lay awake much longer. Their eyes met over Sora’s slumbering form.

Riku still looked sorrowful and Kairi reached across Sora to take his hand. “Riku?”

“I’m okay,” he murmured. “I knew this day would come. I wanted it to come. I want to see Sora happy.”

Kairi’s chest tightened, his words a reflection of Moana’s just hours earlier. “I know,” she said. “I do to.”

“Then, make him happy, Kairi,” Riku said and his voice was too soft to sound like a threat. He shut his green eyes so she wouldn’t see the tears in them. “You make him happy.”

Kairi snuggled into Sora’s side, listening to his steady even heartbeat as he dreamed. Her shoulder itched, the sun wreaking havoc on her tender new flesh, but she couldn’t regret marking herself for Sora. For the first time, she thought she knew how he had felt. She listened to the distant ocean, to the crackling fire, to the songs of crickets, to Riku’s soft breathing and fell asleep quickly.

XXX

Questions, comments, concerns? 


	9. Return to Radiant Garden

Alright. I have the final chapter for this pretty much finished so let's get this show on the road. Let me know if there's anything you want to see.

XXX

After leaving Moana’s glittering world behind, Riku stayed with Sora and Kairi only for a little while longer. After visiting Jack and Sally in Halloween Town, then Simba in the Pridelands, Riku made his excuses to head home to Destiny Island. He wanted Sora and Kairi to have time to themselves, to just enjoy being together with nothing and no one in the way. Sora most of all had spent so much of his young life fixing things. He deserved some time with his Princess. Kairi, for all her faults and mistakes, deserved time with Sora too.

Kairi seemed to know what he was doing immediately and, though she looked like she wanted to, she didn’t complain. Her eyes remained focused on Riku, searching him for a deeper problem, but that was truly all he wanted for them.

Sora read into it too far, certain Riku was sliding back into the darkness for reasons he wouldn’t share with them. “Come on, Riku, don't go,” he protested in a pleading voice that cut Riku deeply, those eyes of his like windows into a crystal-clear sea.

It took all Riku had to chide, “Sora, you’ll be fine without me, honest.”

Sora huffed. “That’s not what this is about. I was fine without you—” He cut himself off, leaping over the pitfall in conversation. Instead, he said earnestly, “I want you to stay.”

“You have Kairi,” Riku told him. Rather than continue, he chose to embarrass Sora instead by saying, “You should take her someplace romantic.”

Sora blushed, glancing shyly at her. “But—”

“I’ll be fine, Sora,” Riku said firmly. “I’ll check in with you, if you want, all you have to do is call.”

Sora let out a breath. He dragged his gaze over Riku like a physical touch and Riku resisted the urge to squirm. He knew if Sora sensed weakness, sensed that he didn’t really want to leave, that he wanted to be with Sora more than anything—he would latch on and never let Riku go.

That wasn’t fair to Kairi, though she did her best not to look to eager to be alone with him. She didn’t want Riku to leave, but she couldn’t deny that the thought of having Sora all to herself made her insides feel fuzzy. She had spent so much time apart from Sora, waiting patiently while he faced countless hardships.

“One more,” Sora said finally.

Riku glanced at Kairi, not for permission but for reassurance. Was it okay for him to stay with Sora after everything he had done, everything he had put Sora through?

Kairi nodded, a quick jerk of her head.

It seemed strange, Riku thought, to have grown so close to Kairi. There was a time when he would have done anything for her and indeed had, slipping deeper and deeper into the darkness for both of them, but the closer the dark got to Riku, the brighter Sora’s light became. Eventually, the light of Sora’s heart eclipsed Kairi’s. She fell to the wayside and Sora took the forefront. It was a position Riku had never expected when he was young.

Sora glanced at Kairi again, confused by Riku’s lingering gaze.

Before Sora could read into it and find a new insecurity in Riku and Kairi’s closeness, Riku agreed with a sigh. “Alright,” he said. “One more world. Last one, I mean it, so you’d better make it a good one.”

Sora beamed. His worries seemingly forgotten the moment he got his way. He bounced up to the captain’s chair and slung himself behind the controls. “I know just the place!”

Riku loitered with Kairi a moment longer.

“Are you okay?” Kairi asked softly.

“Fine,” Riku assured her. “I really do just want you two to have some time alone. You’ve never gotten to be alone with Sora, have you?”

Kairi glanced at him and blushed.

The part of Riku that desperately wanted to protect Sora thought about threatening Kairi good-naturedly, but he already knew that she didn’t want to see Sora hurt as much as he did—maybe even more so. They had both hurt Sora too much with careless actions and thoughts. Sora had forgiven them, but he still deserved better. They both knew that.

Kairi turned away, joining Sora as he left the Pridelands behind. “Where are we going?”

Sora grinned. “How about your home, Kairi?”

Riku’s heart sputtered in his chest.

“When we were kids, we always used to say that we wanted to see the world you came from,” Sora continued, “and we’ve never gotten to go there together.”

Kairi smiled. “That sounds great,” she agreed.

Riku took his seat on Sora’s other side, trying not to think about what had happened the last time he had been to Radiant Garden. Though he and Kairi had stopped in briefly a few other times in their search for Sora, it was that first time that stuck out in Riku’s mind. So much of what Aerith had said to him had been right—painfully right. He wondered if Kairi still heard Aerith’s words, sticking deep into the heart of the problem even then. Riku hadn’t listened to her, not once. Sora had come back to them not because he was ready but because Riku had fallen to the darkness in his desperation. Sora had come to save him, to save Kairi, to save both of them—all over again.

Part of Riku didn’t want to know what Aerith would say to him once she saw that truth.

Sora and Kairi chattered amicably, neither of them seeming to be aware of Riku’s inner turmoil. They discussed what they were going to eat once they arrived in Radiant Garden. Sora told Kairi about all the things Yuffie was always frying, Leon’s preferred smoked meats, Aerith’s fluffy pastries, and Uncle Scrooge’s endless ice cream combinations. Kairi couldn’t quite remember a favorite food from her childhood. They were trying to figure it out, throwing out thoughts and tastes. Kairi bit her lower lip adorably and Sora kept giving her his trademark smile. It took Riku a long time to join in.

Riku retired to bed early, giving the excuse that he was exhausted from a day of keeping up with Sora and Kairi’s antics in the Pridelands. Sora had far too much energy as a lion and Kairi had been transformed into a lithe gazelle that gave him a run for his money in a race. For his part, Riku found himself in the cumbersome yet powerful form of a grey rhino and unable to handle their acrobatics.

Sora stared at him a few heartbeats too long, concern etching the skin around his eyes.

Kairi nodded. “Goodnight, Riku,” she said softly.

…

Kairi stayed up with Sora well into the night, keeping him company until they arrived in Radiant Garden. Since Riku had retired to Sora’s bedroom, Kairi found herself awkwardly staring at the couch in the Gummi Ship’s small living room. It wasn’t oversized and really only fit one person comfortably, but she didn’t want to see Sora sleeping on the cold metallic floor nor did she want to sleep there herself. However, waking up Riku wouldn’t do anything to help. She had a sneaking suspicion that he had planned this, just to make her and Sora—

“Kairi?” Sora asked.

His voice snapped her from her thoughts. “Yes?” she answered quickly.

Sora’s smile was thin and delicate, nothing like the grin he had been wearing only a few minutes ago. Kairi could have kicked herself for putting that look on his face. “You can sleep there,” he said. “I’ll make do.”

“No,” Kairi said firmly. “You’ll hurt your back if you sleep on the floor or in the chair.”

Sora studied her, the corner of his mouth tugging upwards. “We could… share?”

Kairi’s breath caught. Her eyes flit over him, over his body hidden beneath his baggy clothes, over the exposed scar on his forearm. She wanted nothing more than to press herself against every inch of him, but—

“If you want,” Sora continued. He took her silence, her darting gaze, and her hesitance as displeasure. “Like I said, I can make do. It’s no problem.”

“No!” Kairi blurted.

Sora stopped talking, his eyes on her face.

Her cheeks swelled with heat. “I mean, I-I don’t—we can—I think—” she sucked in a deep breath to steady herself and let it out slowly. Though her cheeks still burned and her heart was still racing, she felt marginally more in control of herself. “I’d love to share the couch with you,” she said decisively.

Sora’s smile lost that sharp edge as though he was about to break. “Really?” His voice was small and disbelieving. The tone twisted Kairi’s heart.

Kairi fiddled her fingers nervously but didn’t lie. She wouldn’t be saving face if she lied to Sora now, she’d just be making things more difficult for them. “Really,” she confirmed with a warm smile. “I’d love to spend the night with you.”

Sora’s eyes snapped to her face.

Kairi fumbled, her cheeks flaming anew. “I mean, I would, but I…” She was blushing so hard that it felt like no blood was getting to her brain. She didn’t want to tell Sora that she didn’t want him—she didn’t want him to think that. But it was just too much to blurt that at him at once. She had already told him that she loved him and admitted that she wanted to spend time with him. To tell him that she wanted to sleep with him—sleep with him, share her body with him completely, have sex with him—would be just too much for her heart to take. “I can’t, not right now. I just… it’s…”

Sora chuckled, a short sound that stopped her rambling. “I get it,” he said. “It’s okay, Kairi.”

Now it was her turn to read too much from his words. Did he think that she wasn’t attracted to him, to his body, to his scars? Did he really understand what she was trying to say with all her stuttering? She couldn’t take the risk that he didn’t know exactly what she meant. If he thought the wrong thing and she hurt him inadvertently, she wouldn’t be able to forgive herself. She already had hurt him too much and too often.

“No, Sora, wait,” she said firmly. Her mouth was like a desert and she wet her lips.

Sora’s eyes darted to her mouth, then back to her eyes. “Kairi?”

“I do want to sleep with you,” she said before she lost her nerve. Rescuing Riku from the darkness was easier than saying these words out loud and to Sora’s face. “I mean, really sleep with you. I’d like to, you know,” she sputtered but plowed ahead, “have sex with you.”

Sora took her hand softly. His fingers were rough but so warm. "Kairi," he said tenderly. "You don't have to do anything with me. Nothing that you don't want to do."

Kairi squeezed his fingers. "What if I do want?" she asked. "What if I want everything?"

Sora drew in a shaky breath, his eyes lowered and unable to meet her gaze.

Kairi fumbled, suddenly aware of something else. "Oh, Sora, but if you don't want to—oh my gosh, if you don't want to do anything, we don't have to do anything. We don't," she said hastily. "We don't have to do anything, ever, if you don't feel comfortable or if you don't want to.”

Sora squeezed her fingers. “Kairi, of course I want you,” he admitted lowly.

Her breath caught and her heart fluttered. She hadn’t quite realized that she was still concerned that Sora didn’t want her—that he was too nice to say otherwise, that he was settling, or that she had hurt him to badly for his heart to recover. It felt good to hear him say it out loud.

“But not tonight,” he said with a tiny laughing smile. “Riku’s right in the other room and I want the first time to be, you know, special.”

Kairi wanted to throw her arms around him and never let go. Sora was so sweet, so wonderful, so loving and full of light.

“I love you, Sora,” she blurted, unable to stop herself.

Sora drew her close and hugged her. Then, softly, he confessed, “I love you too.”

Kairi’s heart flip-flopped. She squeezed him tight, breathing in the salt of his skin and the perfume of flowers in his hair.

“Come on,” Sora said when they parted.

Since Riku was asleep in Sora’s room and they couldn’t fetch any pajamas to change into, Sora simply toed off his heavy boots, removed his armored jacket, and stretched out on the couch. Kairi hesitated, shuffling her feet, as Sora made himself comfortable. He gazed at her patiently. His eyes were so blue and glowed in the moonlight. She cautiously leaned over him and settled into the little space between his body and the back of the couch. Sora drew a fuzzy blanket over them and she was soon cocooned in absolute warmth and safety.

Sora sighed, his chest shifting beneath her cheek as he relaxed. He ran his fingers through her hair, feeling the cool silk of her cranberry tresses.

Kairi rested her hand over his heart. Through the thin material of his undershirt, she could easily feel the heat of his skin and the texture of his scars. She traced the plane of one absently and Sora shuddered against her. Immediately, she stopped and forced herself to lie still. She regulated her breathing, hoping to fall asleep quickly, but she was hyper-aware of every inch of Sora’s body pressed against her own. She could smell him, feel the heat of him, hear his heartbeat and breath. Slowly, she became aware of the way he sunk into the cushions. He had fallen asleep, breathing deep and muscles pliant.

Kairi let out a shaky breath. She ran her thumb along the scar she could feel on his chest, but did not give into the urge to peek at the grievous injury that she could feel. Instead, she tugged the blanket up higher over her shoulder, burrowed into Sora, and let her mind drift. It called up memories of their childhood on Destiny Island, showing her Sora’s flawless smile. In her dreams, even though he was a child, he still had scars. She made a point to tell him—every version of him, even the ones that her mind made up—that she loved him.

When she woke in the morning, it was to Sora gingerly trying to squirm out from underneath her. She had knotted her fingers in his shirt and was holding on tight.

Sheepishly, he said, “Sorry I woke you.”

Kairi hastily let go and sat up so that he could escape from beneath her. “It’s okay. What time is it?”

“About seven,” Sora told her. He stretched languidly, popping his back and shoulders. His shirt hitched slightly, just enough to show a ribbon of tanned flesh and old wounds above his pants, but Kairi didn’t stare and he didn’t scramble to hide. He put his boots back on and shrugged into his jacket. “We should go to the Bastion. Leon and Aerith make a killer breakfast for the Restoration Committee. You have got to try Yuffie’s deep fried bacon.”

Kairi dragged herself off the couch and tracked her fingers through her hair. “Sounds good. Let me get washed up,” she said and stifled a yawn. “Are you going to wake Riku?”

“He’s already up,” Sora told her.

Kairi’s face flamed red. If Riku was already up, that meant that he had seen them snuggled up together on the couch. A low chuckle sounded behind Kairi and she snapped around in surprise.

Riku was sitting at the kitchen table, a cheeky grin on his mouth. “Sleep well, Kairi?” he asked.

“Shut up!” Kairi shouted. Then, unable to think of a way to save face, she darted into the bathroom and slammed the door.

“Riku,” Sora said disapprovingly. “Don’t pick on Kairi.”

Riku chuckled again. “But it’s fun,” he said coyly. “Besides, she doesn’t have anything to be embarrassed about. You guys didn’t do anything, right?”

Sora couldn’t help but think about what Kairi had told him the night before and a pink flush crept across his cheekbones. He turned away so Riku wouldn’t see, but his reaction in and of itself gave him away.

Riku chortled. “You guys are too cute.”

“Shut up, Riku!”

…

Aerith was delighted to see Sora come around the corner and let himself into the overlarge kitchen where the Restoration Committee met for breakfast and sometimes lunch. She hadn’t seen him in a while and was starting to worry. The DTD computer in Ansem’s study had logged a recent spike in darkness somewhere in the vast universe. She worried that something had happened, but the sight of his cheerful face immediately soothed her. Even if something was wrong, she had no doubts that Sora would tackle it with both hands. He was just that kind of person.

However, she was surprised and not a little concerned when she saw first Kairi and then Riku following Sora. The last she had heard, they were still searching for him. Had Sora gone back to them of his own free will? Or had they finally caught up with him, the way an exhausted fox gave into the dogs that hunted it?

“Sora,” Aerith said brightly. She took his hands and pulled him into a hug, sliding her fingers into his spiky hair and letting him burrow his face into her shoulder as he had when she greeted him during all his past visits. Over his shoulder, she eyed Kairi and Riku. The desperation had gone out of both of them. Kairi looked content, bordering on joyous, and yet Riku looked nervous. He glanced at Aerith, had the misfortune of meeting her pointed gaze, and looked away quickly. However, the moment ended when Sora drew back from her embrace.

“It’s great to see you, Aerith,” Sora said brightly. “Everyone else up?”

“Leon, Cid, and Yuffie are,” Aerith told him with a smile. “Merlin should be stopping by later in the day, if you’re staying.”

“We’re staying,” Sora confirmed. He took Kairi’s hand and dragged her forward. “Look who I met up with.”

“I see that,” Aerith said. She didn’t miss the easy way Kairi intertwined her fingers with Sora’s. Again, she glanced at Riku and found that he looked guilty. “Everything… alright?” she asked cautiously.

Sora beamed. He didn’t have a bone in his body that was capable of holding a grudge. “Everything’s great,” he said cheerfully. “We’re visiting a few worlds, checking in, you know. We decided to stop by because Kairi grew up in Radiant Garden, but she hasn’t been here in years. I thought it’d be nice to visit.”

“Well, you be sure to give her the grand tour,” Aerith said.

“You bet I will,” he said. “Come on, Kairi.”

Just like that, they were gone into the deeper reaches of the kitchen. Aerith heard Yuffie shout her greeting, followed by Cid’s grumbling. Leon was the silent type, but she knew he was worried about Sora also. They had both seen Sora go through so much—too much—during his time saving the worlds. Riku lingered in front of Aerith and she turned fully to face him.

“I wanted to apologize,” Riku said quickly and as though pulling off a band aid. “You were right.”

Aerith folded her hands pensively. “I was?” she asked lightly.

Riku grit his teeth and nodded. “Yes,” he said. “I was too hasty. I wasn’t looking for Sora, I was hunting him. What he wants mattered and I… I was too blinded to see that.”

“Did you figure out what matters?” Aerith asked simply and without judgment.

Riku glanced towards where Sora and Kairi had disappeared into the hallowed halls. “I have,” he said softly.

Aerith nodded thoughtfully and then offered an olive branch. “Come, have breakfast with us.”

“Thank you, Aerith,” Riku said earnestly.

When they joined Sora, Kairi, Leon, Yuffie, and Cid in the kitchen, it was absolute chaos, but Sora was smiling like he was making up for lost time. It warmed Riku’s heart, especially when Aerith laid her hand on Riku’s shoulder and gave a little squeeze like she knew exactly what he was thinking. For the first time, Riku felt forgiven.

…

After dinner, once night had fallen and Cid made his excuses to head home, Riku followed suit. He borrowed a Gummi Ship from Cid and left after saying farewell to everyone. He took a moment alone with Sora, talking to him in a low voice, his expression unreadable. Kairi stood with Aerith a few feet away, chatting about how much Radiant Garden had changed since her childhood, but the conversation petered out when Kairi saw Sora throw himself at Riku and squeeze him tight. Riku held Sora for a long moment, his silvery head bowed into Sora’s shoulder.

Kairi wanted to go to them, but Aerith held her back with a soft understanding smile. They resumed talking until Riku peeled himself away from Sora. Riku's face looked wet, eyes a little too shiny and bright, but his smile was genuine. He waved to Kairi, having already hugged her goodbye before moving on to Sora, and disappeared into the Gummi Ship. Sora stared at the skyline long after the ship’s taillights disappeared, hands rolled into fists. Kairi wanted to comfort him—to go to him, to ask him a thousand questions about what he felt, to smother him in affection—but restrained herself. She gave him a moment to himself and felt better for it when he ventured over to join them.

“Everything alright?” Kairi couldn’t help but ask.

Sora nodded jerkily. His blue eyes darted to Aerith and then settled on Kairi’s face. “Everything’s fine,” he said.

Kairi didn’t ask about Riku. It wasn’t her place. If Sora wanted her to know, he would tell her—as would Riku. Whatever they had discussed, it was between them.

Aerith gave Kairi a hug and then Sora. She ruffled his wild hair fondly and said, “Don’t leave without saying goodbye, okay?”

“Never,” Sora promised.

Aerith wandered away, her footsteps measured until she disappeared into the winding cobbled streets.

Sora didn’t watch her go. He took Kairi’s hand and said, “Come on. There’s something I want to show you.”

Kairi fell into step easily beside him. He knew his way around well despite the near-constant repairs going on. He led her through the marketplace, a lovely-if-overgrown garden, and finally into a large courtyard. At first, Kairi didn’t realize what Sora wanted to show her. Then, he let go of her hand and busily began lighting all the lamps in the area with little snaps of his fingers. As each light sparked to life, growing brighter and reaching further, she realized that they were in the fountain court. It was something she barely-remembered—a half-dreamed memory of tumbling water and glowing lights. In the lamplight, it wasn’t quite what she remembered, but it was still beautiful.

It was even more beautiful reflected in Sora’s eyes as he faced her with a timid smile, like he thought she might be disappointed.

“Oh, Sora,” she breathed. She marveled at the fountains for an appropriate amount of time, taking his hand and pulling him around with her. “It’s amazing.”

Sora’s smile lost its fragile edge. He pulled her close, hooking her against his chest with one arm, and leaped nimbly onto the crest of a fountain. The water pulsed beneath his feet and Kairi felt the warmth of his magic as he propelled them into a high jump that let them come to rest on the highest platform of the fountain. From there, she could see all of Radiant Garden. Awed, she paced right to the edge and looked out at the little city of warm glowing lights, lorded over by the massive keep.

“Wow,” she said. “I always forget how big everything is. Destiny Island is so small.”

Sora came to stand beside her, his shoulder bumping hers. He gazed at her, his eyes catching the lantern’s light and sparkling with the stars. He was so handsome.

Kairi wanted to place kisses all over his face until he couldn’t take anymore.

Sora opened his mouth to speak.

From behind, there was the sound of Radiant Garden’s security system powering up. The computer made quick work of all but the largest Heartless and it exploded in a puff of discarded items. Sora glanced over his shoulder, just to make sure everything was okay. He knew there were still occasional bouts of Heartless in Radiant Garden. He had talked to Leon and Aerith about it extensively, but they determined that it was because Radiant Garden had been Ansem’s home and the birthplace of all Heartless. So long as there was darkness in people’s hearts, there could be Heartless anywhere. Here was no exception.

Kairi, however, startled and locked her fingers around his bicep. “What was that?” she asked.

“Just the security system,” Sora said and explained to her what Leon had told him.

“So,” Kairi said softly, “it’ll never really be over, will it?”

Sora shrugged. His gaze was distant, thinking of what Riku had told him.

“Sora?” Kairi whispered.

“It’s okay,” Sora told her. The light in his heart shone bright. “I’m not afraid, not anymore.” He squeezed her fingers, bringing her knuckles to his lips and placing a small kiss there. The lantern light caught on his scarred forearm, standing out as though lit from within. “So long as I have Riku, so long as you’re with me, there’s nothing I can’t face.”

Kairi stared at the mark for a moment before meeting his eyes. She smiled, warmed from the inside out. “Good,” she said and squeezed his hand in return, “because I’m with you.”

Sora tugged her closer and slid one hand into her hair. He leaned in and his eyes fluttered closed. Kairi’s breath caught and she quickly closed the space between them. His lips were soft and warm, yielding under hers. She flicked her tongue out, tracing the seam, and he welcomed her inside. She explored, pulling back to nibble his lower lip and suckle it into her mouth.

Sora broke away with a breathless laugh. “That tickles,” he murmured.

“Sorry,” she murmured.

Holding her close, he jumped down from the peak of the fountain with a splash and carried her to the edge so she wouldn’t get her feet wet. Shaking himself off, he followed her to one of the stone benches and sank down so they could enjoy the view of the glowing dancing fountain. Kairi hesitated only a moment before sliding into his lap. She felt Sora suck in a deep breath before he put his arms around her and buried his face into her hair. Kairi snuggled into his chest, absently tracing the bared skin of his forearm with her fingertips. He shuddered with each touch, especially when she drew purposefully over his scar.

“Will you… tell me about it?” Kairi asked softly.

Sora kept his face tucked into her shoulder, hidden. “What do you want to know?”

“Anything you want to tell me,” she said. “Or nothing, if you don’t want to talk about it.”

“It’s not interesting,” Sora told her. His voice was small and muffled. “I was fighting and a Red Nocturne took me by surprise. They cloak themselves in fire and just rush at you. I didn’t see it.”

Kairi drew her thumb over the raised brand. It was slightly smoother and cooler than the rest of Sora’s skin. Wordlessly, she lifted his arm to her mouth and placed a kiss there.

Sora trembled. He breathed out her name.

“You’re so brave,” she said softly.

“Not really,” he admitted.

Kairi shook her head. “No, you really are. Sora, you’re my hero.”

His breath caught in his chest and she felt it stutter against her back.

She tilted her head back and kissed him again. His cheeks were damp, his lips were gentle, and his hands were so warm where they cupped her face and pulled her closer. She burrowed into his embrace, putting her arms around him and squeezing him tight. Sora kissed her deeply, drawing her into himself, and she gave it all to him. She wanted to give all of herself to him.

…

When Sora woke in the morning, he was lying alone in his bed on the Gummi Ship. For one moment, he thought everything had just been a blissful dream, but then he realized that he was wearing soft cotton pajamas and that he could still smell Kairi on his pillows and sheets. He rolled over and buried his face, inhaling deeply. She smelled wonderful, like light and paopu fruit and hibiscus flowers and destiny.

Now that he was awake, the fog of heavy sleep lifting away, he could recall staggering back to the ship from the fountain court with her in his arms. He remembered changing into his pajamas, and she into hers, and tumbling into bed with her. He remembered kissing her softly, whispering little secrets, feeling her warm body against his own, until he fell asleep. His dreams had been filled with her, of holding her, tasting her, kissing her, being with her.

“Good morning, Sora,” Kairi said cheerfully as she returned to the room, fresh from a shower. Her tresses were darker when they were wet and she dried them gently with a towel in both hands. “Did you sleep well?”

Sora sat up to greet her and became suddenly aware of the evidence of his dreams. He quickly squeezed his legs together and pulled a pillow into his lap to hide his prominent erection.

Kairi was still smiling. She must not had noticed.

Sora let his breath out. “I slept great,” he said cheerfully. It was one thing for Kairi to admit that she wanted to sleep with him, completely another to bombard her with his rampaging hormones. He was glad she had gotten into the shower before he woke completely. Hopefully she hadn’t felt anything untoward. He peeked at her through his lashes.

“That’s good,” she continued. “So, what are we going to do today?”

Riku’s words came back to Sora, telling him to take Kairi somewhere romantic.

“What do you want to do?” Sora asked instead. He tried to will his erection away, trying to think of anything but the way she pulled her lower lip between her teeth as she thought. “Are you ready to leave or do you want to stay longer?”

Kairi paused, thinking. She combed her hair with her fingers, squeezing out the water absently. Her damp shirt stuck to her skin. “Hmm, there are so many places I want to visit.”

“Like where?” Sora asked.

Kairi glanced at him and draped her towel over her shoulders. “Are you okay? Your face is red.”

“I’m fine,” Sora told her. He hastily clambered out of bed, grabbed his clothes, and held them low over his pelvis. “I’ll just get cleaned up and then we can go anywhere you want.”

“Anywhere?” Kairi repeated.

Sora nodded, bowed out of his room, and shut himself into the bathroom. He looked down at the tent in his pajamas with a sigh. Why was he so embarrassed? It wasn’t as though he had never dreamed about her before and woken up with a raging hard on—or worse. There was just something different about having her right there, about her scent still clinging to him and her taste still lingering on his lips, about her confession still ringing in his head. He peeled off his pajamas and jumped into the shower, letting the cold water wash away his troubles.

As the water cascaded down his back and shoulders, he couldn’t help but become aware of an even more obvious issue. If he ever wanted to be with Kairi—really be with her—she would have to see him without his clothes. She would see every inch of his damaged body and every one of his scars. Though he now believed that they didn’t bother her, not really, he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that level of intimacy. He had hidden the whole of his scars from her, from Riku, from his parents, even from Donald and Goofy not because he was ashamed, but because he didn’t want them to see the true extent of the damage. No one, not even Donald and Goofy, had seen him completely naked.

He tipped his head into the water with a groan, quickly washed his hair, and tried to put his worries out of his mind. There was no reason to think he’d be addressing them soon. He knew Kairi’s true feelings, but he didn’t know her timeline. Sora would figure it out later. He had always worked best under pressure, all his greatest powers coming to him when he was at rock bottom.

Clean and refreshed, Sora climbed out of the shower and into his fresh clothes. He didn’t waste time drying or styling his hair. It never did what he wanted it to do anyway. After hanging up his towel, he headed out into the Gummi Ship where Kairi was absently looking through the world maps for their next destination.

“We have to say goodbye before we go,” Sora said.

She glanced at him and smiled. “I know. I figured that we’d have breakfast with Aerith and the others and then leave.”

“Where are we going?” Sora asked.

Kairi put away the holographic map and grinned at him cheekily. “It’s a surprise.”

XXX

Questions, comments, concerns? 


	10. Healing and Whole

I will not be writing out Sora's letters to Riku, Kairi, and his mother. However, I will share with you the notes that I had written to keep in mind for each letter. Sora’s letter to Kairi contained only his love, his wish for her to be happy, and to move on. His letter to Riku contained assurance that it isn’t his fault. Sora’s letter to his mom was that he was a hero called back to duty. So, that's literally all I wrote for myself on those letters.

XXX

When Kairi shakily brought the Gummi Ship to dock in the world she had chosen, Sora did his best not to press his face against the windshield and look out. The suspense was killing him. What kind of world had Kairi chosen—a scary one, a primitive one, a romantic one? What kind of place would she consider romantic? His heart was pounding against his ribs.

“Where are we?” Sora asked her.

“Be patient,” Kairi chided. She uncurled her white knuckles from the controls. “Man, you make flying this thing look too easy.”

“Well, I've had a few years of practice,” Sora said and peeled himself away.

She smiled and paced over to the exit, stiff after nervously flying for so long. Sora had offered to take over, but she hadn't want him to know where they were going.

Sora stepped up behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders. For a moment, he worked his thumbs into the tight muscles of her back and shoulders. Kairi melted into his touch, the tension washing away as he expertly pressed into each knot and ache. She sagged into his arms, resting her back against his chest. He brought his arms around her, cradling her close, and she tipped her head back into his shoulder. She pursed her lips and Sora leaned in to place a lingering kiss there.

“Come on,” Sora said when he broke away. “I want to see where we are.”

Kairi giggled and opened the door into absolute chaos.

Sora immediately recognized the sweeping pagodas and vibrant gardens of the Land of Dragons. He also immediately recognized the massive dragon Heartless that he had driven off the last time he was here visiting. That was the one serious problem with flying Heartless. While Sora could glide further than Riku could, he still couldn't fly outright. It was practically impossible to catch up with something that could just leave him in the dust.

“Look out!” Sora shouted. He dove at Kairi, tackling her out of the way of a jet of fire only a heartbeat before it would have seared her to a crisp. He felt the heat on the back of his neck, but the blow didn't land.

Kairi yelped and clung to him as he skidded behind the corner of the nearest building. He pressed her into the wall, shielding her with his body, until she could breathe again.

In the distance, the sounds of battle began to build. People were yelling, someone screamed, there was the whoosh of fire igniting, and the clash of weapons. The dragon roared, its voice loud enough to rattle bones. The sky was so thick with smoke that it blocked out the sun.

“Stay here,” Sora said to Kairi firmly.

She latched onto the corner of his armored jacket, jerking him around. “No way!”

“Kairi!” he protested. “It's dangerous.”

“I know,” she said and winced as the ground trembled beneath their feet. “Let me help you.”

“No,” he told her.

Kairi refused to let go of his jacket.

“I don't want you in danger,” he ground out. “Please, just stay here.”

Kairi gripped his hands. “Sora, I don't want you in danger, either.”

Sora heaved a breath, knowing that each second he wasted arguing with her was another second that the dragon rampaged on the city. “Kairi, I've been in danger so long that it doesn't even matter,” he said. “Just wait for me here.”

Someone screamed.

Sora whirled away from her, unable to hold back any longer. He summoned his Keyblade and dashed away. All he could do was hope that she listened to him.

Kairi watched him go, unable to believed that he was just going to leave her here. Yes, she was safe, but she wanted to help. She called for Destiny's Embrace and raced after him, dodging flaming falling debris. She could see him ahead of her and she realized this was the first time she had actually gotten to see Sora in action and, boy, he was a sight to behold.

It was so much like when she had watched him and Riku playing volleyball. Sora was speed and grace, but magic and power poured out of him unconstrained. He cast thunder, the lightning sparkling all around him and annihilating all the mob of weaker Heartless before they could lay a claw on him. Then, he slashed his way through a few Large Bodies and kept speeding past them.

Kairi picked off a few stragglers, wishing her magic was even half as powerful as his.

Sora kicked off and blew himself into a low glide, leaving her behind. He vaulted up the nearby pagoda, somersaulting up each level until he was high enough to leap onto the dragon's back. The beast roared, fire fanning from its gaping mouth and blotting out the sun. Kairi stopped, shading her eyes with her hand as she tried to watch.

Mulan fell into place beside Kairi, Mushu perched on her shoulder and a long sword clutched in both hands. “Kairi!” she greeted brightly.

Shang panted up on the other side of Mulan, nursing a large scrape on his side. “Thank goodness Sora arrived when he did,” he huffed. “I was just starting to think that we weren't going to make it.”

“Oh, shove it, man,” Mushu retorted. “We were going to be fine. My girl Mulan knows what's up.”

“It's still nice to have help,” Mulan interrupted. She gave Shang a sip of a potion and then hefted her sword. “Come on, let's clean up.”

Kairi dove into the fray right alongside Mulan, knocking aside Soldiers and Shadows. It wasn't long before Shang joined them, supporting Mulan's flank and coming to Kairi's aid. Mushu breathed small bursts of fire on any Heartless that flew overhead, bringing the Gargoyles down into striking range.

Sora and the massive dragon swooped overhead. The dragon's shadow fell deeply on them while Sora's was like a diving falcon. The dragon suddenly roared and it was a great mournful sound. Light exploded overhead and all the remaining Heartless scattered. Kairi stopped and slung her Keyblade over her shoulder, looking up at the sky. Sora was plummeting towards her, his arms and legs outstretched. Her heart leaped into her throat. Had she come this far to lose Sora now?

“Niiii-iiiiice,” Mushu remarked. “Swan dive.”

“Swan dive?” Kairi repeated.

“Oh yeah,” Mushu said.

“Sora likes to stop by here and practice,” Mulan said and sheathed her sword. She looked herself over, pulling her torn shirt away from the scrapes and scratches on her arms. “Shang, any of that potion left?”

Shang shook his head. “That was the last of it.”

“Darn,” Mulan said.

Sora landed hard, a cloud of dust exploding around his boots. He threw his Keyblade over his shoulder and pushed his sweat-slick hair out of his face. “Everyone okay?”

“A few scrapes and bruises,” Mulan said. She closed the space between them, giving Sora a brief hug.

Mushu jumped from her head to Sora's, anchoring himself in the spiky locks. “Sora,” he greeted jovially. “Fantastic form. I give that a seven on account of your terrible finish.”

“What? A seven?” Sora demanded shrilly. “I was worried about you guys!”

Mushu crossed his arms over his chest and then leaped nimbly down.

Shang looked around at the ruin of the city. “Well, we've got our work cut out for us.”

“Can we help?” Sora asked.

Mulan shook her head. “You'd probably just get in the way, Sora. What brings you here?”

Sora let go of his Keyblade and laced his hands behind his head. “Ask Kairi.”

Kairi blushed. “I just... I've heard about the cherry blossoms that bloom here. I wanted to see them for myself.”

“Ah, the cherry blossoms,” Mushu said and blew a little smoke ring that was shaped like a heart. “So romantic.”

Sora's lips quirked and he glanced at Kairi. “Are they?”

Kairi looked away, letting Destiny's Embrace disappear. “I-I didn't know that.”

Mulan smiled. “Well, you two enjoy. Will we see you later?”

“I'd never leave without saying goodbye,” Sora told her.

Shang grasped Mulan's shoulder, scooped up Mushu with his free hand, and headed out of the damaged courtyard. He whistled lowly and kicked a few rocks. It felt like just last week that he had finally gotten this place cleaned up and now it was a mess all over again.

“Sorry,” Kairi said to Sora. “I had to help.”

“I know,” he murmured. “That's one of the things I love about you.”

Kairi's heart thumped and she turned to face Sora, beaming.

Immediately, he caught sight of the scratch on her face. It was deep, slightly burned, and settled right on the apple of her cheek. Blood had dried all over her face. Her arms and bare legs were decorated with a myriad of scratches and scrapes, none quite so bad as the one of her face.

“You're hurt!” He snatched her shoulders, dragging her closer and casting a cure spell on her whole body.

The little wounds healed instantly, including the one on her cheekbone. Startled by the sudden onslaught of magic, she stumbled.

“Are you okay?” Sora asked.

“I am,” she said cheerfully. “Really.”

She tracked her gaze over him, picking out the patches of seared skin and deep gouges where the dragon's teeth had bit into him. Some of the cure spell he had cast on her had spilled over to his body, but it wasn't nearly enough power to heal him completely. The wounds were deep and painful-looking, but Sora was far more concerned with her. He cradled her cheeks in his palms, running his thumb over the perfect flesh.

“What about you?” Kairi asked. She reached to touch his burned face and hesitated.

“What? Me? Oh, I'm fine,” Sora said hastily. “This is nothing.”

“It's not nothing,” she murmured. “You're hurt.” She fumbled through her hip pouch, but she didn't have any potions and her own cure magic was abysmal. She couldn't do anything to help him. Tears pricked her eyes as she looked at the burns on his arms and face.

“Hey,” he said gently. “It's okay. I'm okay. Look, watch.” He cupped his hand and channeled what was left of his magic, healing the burn on his face first and working his way down. Slowly, his skin knit back together until there was only the faintest mark to show his latest injuries.

Kairi drew her thumb over the new scar on the inside of his wrist. She managed a little magic, just enough to fade it completely.

Sora watched the exchange quietly and flexed his wrist when she finished. “See?”

Kairi drew in a shuddering breath and laced her fingers with his.

“So, you wanted to see the cherry blossoms?” Sora asked.

She sniffled and then shook the sorrow off. “Yeah, but... let's get you cleaned up first.”

Hand in hand, they headed back to the Gummi Ship. Sora limped slightly and was unsteady on his feet. He might not have wanted her to know, but fighting that dragon alone had taken a lot of strength out of him. Rather than say anything, Kairi slotted herself more securely under his shoulder and offered her support. Once they were inside the ship, Sora sank down onto the couch with a heavy sigh.

“Thanks, Kairi,” he breathed. “I used too much magic.”

“Can I do anything to help?”

“Something to eat,” he said softly.

Kairi rummaged through the cabinets until she found a jar of peanut butter. There wasn't much in the fridge, but she did find a loaf of bread. She dropped two pieces into the toaster, smeared them with peanut butter, and got Sora a glass of water. Then, she did the same for herself and sat beside him on the couch, nibbling. Sora's face was pale, but more and more color came into his face as he ate and drank. He was nothing if not resilient.

“Thanks,” he said and crumpled the napkin in his hand. He tucked his nose into his jacket and inhaled. “Whew, I smell like a fireplace.”

“Probably because of all the fire,” Kairi told him.

He chuckled. “I'm going to grab a shower. Then, we can go look at the cherry blossoms.”

Sora tipped himself off the couch, fetched some clean clothes, and wobbled into the bathroom. Kairi heard the shower start up. She thought about following him, about offering her help, but instead waited for him on the couch. A few minutes later, Sora reemerged in a waft of steam. He was still wearing his armored jacket, even though he had showered to banish the smell of smoke.

“Ready to go?” he asked.

“We can go tomorrow,” Kairi offered, “if you're tired.”

“I don't want to let you down,” Sora said too cheerfully.

Kairi's breath caught. “Sora, you... you could never let me down.”

Sora's smile was too tight. “Even with my newest batch of scars?” he asked self-deprecatingly.

Kairi snapped to her feet. She couldn't help it—she closed in on him. “Sora,” she said, “I love you. You wouldn't be you if you didn't dive in to help people regardless of the risk to yourself. I love that about you. I love you. I don't care how many scars you have or if you never get another. I love you, Sora.”

Smoothly, she ripped off her dress and threw it to the side so he could see the dark tattoo emblazoned on her shoulder. Like his recent injuries, the edges of the tattoo were still tinged pink as it healed. His healing spell hadn't done anything to heal the purposeful old mark.

Sora's breath caught, both at the sight of the crest and her sudden exposure. She was so beautiful and to see their oathkeeper on her skin... He reached out and pulled her to him, swathing her in his arms. His hands splayed over her naked back and she flung her arms around him, squeezing him tightly. She buried her face into his neck.

“I love you,” she repeated.

“I love you too, Kairi.”

She tipped her face up and kissed him, delving her tongue into his mouth and backing him against the wall. Sora gripped her shoulders, ran his hands down her back, and settled his hands on her hips. She pressed against the bulge in his trousers, grinding into him with a breathy sound.

Startled, Sora pulled away. “Kairi, you don't—”

“Sora,” she interrupted. “I'm not doing anything that I don't want to do. I'll stop if you want me to, but I want this. I want to show you how much you mean to me.”

“I'm not,” he murmured, “ready for you to see.”

Kairi sobered. She drew her hands down his chest, feeling the planes of his muscles and the ridges of his scars through his armor. “I understand,” she said softly. “Whenever you're ready, will you tell me?”

Sora tangled his fingers in her hair and tipped her head back so he could kiss her sweetly. Somehow, knowing that she would give him the time he needed made him want to show her. Part of him wanted to know what she would do—really do—when she discovered just how much damage had been inflicted on him.

“Wait,” he breathed.

Kairi searched his face. “You don't have to,” she murmured.

“I want to.”

Slowly, Sora peeled off his jacket and let it drop to the floor with a clatter. His undershirt covered most of his torso but bared the marks on his shoulders.

Kairi studied them, drawing her fingertips over the slashes and burns. Then, she pressed her lips to each one individually.

Sora shuddered, clutching her back. He became aware that she was pressed against him in little more than her underwear. He could see the rise of her breasts, the line of her spine, the curve of her stomach, the vee between her thighs. He breathed deep, inhaling the scent of her skin. His ragged heartbeat increased.

“Sora?” she asked.

“Not here,” he said softly. “My room.”

Kissing her, Sora guided Kairi into his bedroom and had her sit on the bed. Then, after a moment of hesitation, he peeled off his undershirt and held it in one shaking hand for a moment before tossing it aside. Kairi gasped slightly and he couldn't blame her for her shock. She reached out, hesitated, searched his face, and then gently laid her fingers against his belly. Over his toned abs, there were the marks she had glimpsed earlier on Destiny Island. In the dim lighting of the secret place, she wasn't able to full appreciate just how badly he had been hurt.

“Oh, Sora,” she breathed. Tears welled in her eyes. “My god.”

Sora misunderstood and hastily backed away. “Kairi, you don't have to—”

“Sora, no,” she said and gripped his hands. “No, it's not... I love you.”

“You're crying,” he said softly.

“Not because of that, not because of you or what you look like,” she promised. “It's because... I can't imagine the pain you went through.”

Sora shivered beneath her gentle touch.

In the middle of his chest, there was a long jagged scar that ran the length of his sternum. Kairi caressed it and the scar was slightly warmer than the rest of his skin. Sora folded his hand over hers, pressing her palm flush with the old injury. She stroked it with her thumb, wondering what had made such a truly massive wound.

“It was when I freed you,” Sora said softly.

“Huh?”

“In Hollow Bastion, when I freed your heart from mine,” he told her. “That's where the Keyblade went in.”

Kairi gasped.

“I wouldn't trade it for all the worlds,” he confessed. “I'd do it all again to have you beside me.”

Kairi choked back her tears and threw her arms around him, burying her face against the scar. She pressed her lips to it, feathering kisses all over what skin she could reach.

Sora squirmed beneath her ministrations. “That tickles.”

Kairi tipped her head up to look at him.

Sora kissed her, once, twice, gingerly and then with growing passion. He tasted her, drew her into himself, let her out again. Kairi clung to him, her hands running along his back and tracing the long slashes she found there. He backed her into the bed and Kairi lay down beneath him. She let her breath out, shivering when Sora's mouth ran a hot wet trail down the side of her throat. He nibbled her pulse, suckling lightly. She moaned and arched beneath his touch, drawing him closer.

Kairi wrapped her legs around his waist. Even with his heavy trousers between them, she could still feel the hardness of his arousal through the thin barrier of her panties. Sora scraped his teeth over his collarbone and deftly unfastened her bra. She wriggled out of her bra, eager to show him anything he wanted of her. She wanted to share all of herself with him and she hoped that he would do the same. He cupped her breasts in his palms and rasped his thumbs over her nipples. Kairi cried out.

“Did that hurt?” Sora whispered.

“No,” she breathed. “It felt good.” She folded her hand over his, squeezing her breast with his fingers. “Keep going.”

Sora smiled into her skin.

He closed his lips over her nipple, nibbling and sucking gently. Kairi dug her heels into his backside, pressing him closer, and ground her hips against his erection. Sora made a delicious sound and she dug her fingers into his back. She caught his mouth and kissed him deeply. Then, using all her weight, she rolled them both over so that she could be on top. Sora stared up at her in surprise, his blue eyes wide. For a moment, his hands fluttered as though he wanted to cover himself. Then, through sheer will, he twisted his hands in the sheets instead.

“I can stop,” she offered.

“No,” he breathed. “Go ahead.”

Kairi tucked her cranberry tresses behind her ear and dipped down to press a kiss to the scar in the middle of his chest. She dragged her tongue over it, feeling the texture and heat of his skin. Sora trembled all over, releasing the sheets to tangle his hands in her hair. Kairi mapped a mindless path, pressing little kisses and licks to any scar that caught her attention. They were numerous, weaving a map of pain and suffering, sacrifice and valor, bravery and victory over his skin. She placed a final lingering kiss near his belly button before tugging down his trousers and underwear.

Sora gasped as she closed her mouth around his erection. His hips bucked and she pressed them into the bed with both hands. She bobbed on the length of him, swirling her tongue around and around, suckling and letting her teeth just press behind the crown of his cock. He squirmed, gasping, as her cheeks hollowed around him. She swallowed him deeply, closing her eyes and giving herself over to the texture of his skin. She licked the raised vein, running her teeth along it gently.

Sora gasped her name and reached for her.

Kairi slid up his torso, straddling his waist comfortably.

Sora gazed up at her, cupping her breasts in his hands. “Are you sure?”

“Are you?” she countered.

His cheeks grew red, but he nodded.

Wordlessly, she stripped off her panties and discarded them.

Naked as the day she was born, she hung above him for a moment. He scanned her body, committing every curve of her to memory. Kairi did the same, wanting to always remember this look on his face, the love in his cerulean eyes, the half-smile on his mouth. She grasped his erection, steadied herself, and slowly slid down on him.

The stretch was delicious and hot. Kairi moaned as he filled her to the hilt. Sheathed inside, she paused for a moment and clenched her muscles around him. Sora groaned, bucking slightly into her. Kairi braced her hands on his chest, rocking slightly to get used to the feel of him inside her. It was everything she had hoped for ever since she had confessed to him.

Sora gripped her hips and then reached for her face. Tucking his hand into her hair, he tugged her down for a kiss. Her breasts brushed his chest, nipples oversensitive, and she gasped. Sora gripped her tightly, pulling her flush against him. He shifted his hips experimentally and she moaned, pressing down encouragingly.

He smirked, flattened her to him, and flipped them both over. Kairi stared up at him, her hair fanned out all around her head. She smiled and Sora dove down to kiss her again. Tangling his tongue with hers, he began to move, swallowing each breath that exploded out of her as he thrust inside.

She squeezed her legs around his hips, pressing him even deeper, and gasped out his name. Sora set a swift but forgiving pace. His hands wandered her body, stroking her sides and then anchoring her hips against him. She threw her head back, gasping, and Sora pressed his teeth to her throat.

“Sora, I need—”

He broke away from her, pulling out.

“What's wrong?” she asked, nerves bubbling up inside her. Was she... not good?

Sora kissed her. “Everything's fine,” he said. “I'm going to give you what you need.”

Puzzled, Kairi went along with him as he tugged her onto her hands and knees. Once there, he pushed into her from behind. The angle was different and he slid even deeper into her. She moaned, throwing her head back in a shower of hair. Sora could see her tattoo like this and he pressed a tender kiss to the mark. Kairi shuddered and moaned.

Sora's hand snaked around her hip and landed over her clit. He began to rub and pinch the little pearl in time with his thrusts. Abruptly, the pleasure that had been mounting inside Kairi skyrocketed. She almost screamed and had to bury her face in the pillow, biting the sheets instead. Sora redoubled his efforts, matching his stroking fingers with his thrusts.

She writhed beneath him, too much sensation overwhelming her. When she felt his lips on her tattoo again, knowing what it meant to him, the pleasure finally overtook her. Her muscles clenched around him, squeezing him tight. With a groan, Sora pulled out suddenly and she felt something wet splatter on her bare back.

“Sorry,” Sora whispered. He grabbed his discarded shirt and wiped up the mess before collapsing beside her in the bed.

Kairi rolled over and spooned herself against his side, draping her arm and leg across his body. She traced a scar on his chest absently.

“Was it... everything you wanted?” Sora asked.

Kairi nodded. “Thank you for trusting me enough to show me.”

“I love you,” he said and buried his face into her hair.

“I love you too.”

They lay together for a long time, chatting quietly about all manner of things. Kairi kept touching Sora, tracing his scars, while his fingers mapped an absent path along her back. He couldn't feel her tattoo, not the way she could feel his scars, but he knew it was there. For the first time, he knew everything was going to be okay.

…

Riku got Sora's message first thing when he woke the next morning. It was simple and embellished with a smiling selfie of the two of them in front of the cherry blossoms. 'Meet us at the play island,' Sora's message read. 'We'll be back around lunchtime.'

Unhurried, Riku went through the motions of his morning routine. He had breakfast with his father, did his katas on the beach to the steady beat of the waves, and put in a load of laundry. Just before noon, he boarded his little boat and rowed out to the island. It was so nostalgic to be heading there to meet Sora again.

Sora's Gummi Ship was docked nearby when Riku arrived. He pulled his dinghy up to the dock and tied it off, leaping nimbly onto the weather-worn boards. He paced across the sand, crossed the wooden bridge, and found his friends near their favorite paopu tree. His breath caught at the sight of them.

Kairi had borrowed a stunning white cheongsam from Mulan for the Flower Viewing Festival. Her crimson hair was done up in an elaborate style, held aloft by combs and ornate blossom pins. Sora was wearing his usual uniform, but there were still petals in his hair, sticking here and there like snowflakes. Sora's heart was on his sleeve, his mouth shaped into a glorious smile while Kairi looked at him. The moment felt private and intimate. Riku almost left, giving them their time despite Sora's request to meet them. However, Kairi spotted him in the next breath and grinned.

“Riku!” she said cheerfully. “Thanks for meeting us.”

Sora turned to face him and smiled even more broadly. “We brought treats!” He hefted a small satchel wrapped in pink and blue fabric.

“What's that?” Riku asked, unable to help himself.

“Goodies from the festival,” Kairi told him. She hopped down from the crooked tree and sat carefully on the blanket that she had spread out in the clearing. “Come here, sit. I want to tell you all about it.”

“Don't tell him!” Sora protested. “We'll take him with us next time.”

Chuckling, Riku sat beside Kairi. “You can tell me.”

Sora plopped between them and began opening the satchel. It contained a lacquered box and Sora lifted the lid to reveal a wild array of tasty street foods and other treats from Mulan's world. Kairi unwrapped some chopsticks and gave him a pair. They ate together, sharing tidbits and stories.

Riku had been worried about Sora, worried about leaving him alone after everything he had been through. He had been worried about Kairi, about how she would handle Sora's feelings, about how she would handle her own. However, all his worries were assuaged as he watched them together. They really were meant to be.

Riku swallowed the knot in his throat, washing it down with a sweet bean dumpling.

Kairi smiled at him, wrapping up the story of the dragon attack that had occurred the moment they landed. She had thought that the flower viewing would be canceled, but the ancient trees were in full bloom despite the attack just the day before. Nature was unperturbed by the Heartless.

Sora wrapped up the empty box and stretched. “It's warm,” he said. “We should go for a swim.”

Kairi nodded. “Let me change into my suit.”

Riku was already wearing his, having expected to spend time in the water. He and Sora sat alone together while Kairi headed into the Gummi Ship to change. There were a lot of things that Riku wanted to ask Sora, but he was a little afraid of the answers. He swallowed and finally ventured, “Sora?”

Reclined on the blanket, Sora hummed an answer.

“Are you... happy?” Riku settled on.

Sora cracked open one eye to peer at Riku. “I am,” he said honestly. The scars on his arms and calves were on full display. He made no move to hide them, even when Riku's gaze couldn't help but linger.

Kairi returned with some towels, a bottle of sunblock, and an umbrella slung over her shoulder. She looked adorable in her ruffled bikini, her hair pulled loose and hanging around her face. “Ready?” she asked.

Sora jumped to his feet and wordlessly stripped out of his shirt.

Riku's breath hitched, catching in alarm at the sight of Sora's naked torso. He had no idea the extent of the injuries Sora had borne—they were truly numerous and painful-looking. It was on the tip of Riku's tongue to ask if Sora was okay, if he needed something, if he could help in any way. He expected Sora to take off running, like he had before.

However, Sora stayed. He let Riku look long enough that Riku realized that he was doing this on purpose. He wanted Riku to see and understand that Sora wasn't hiding anymore. He had come to terms with his scars, with what he had done, with his feelings for Kairi and her feelings for him. As far as Sora was concerned, his scars were nothing and he wanted his friends to know that.

Riku swallowed and climbed to his feet. He pulled off his shirt and threw it down beside Sora's. “Race you to the water.”

Sora grinned. “You're on.”

They took off like twin rockets, but Sora was now faster. Riku trailed him by a single heartbeat. They crashed through the waves at almost exactly the same time, giving off unison exclamations of “Cold!” when the water hit them. Kairi raced after them, diving into the water only a moment behind. Laughing, she surfaced and threw her arms around Sora. Her palm rested on the scar over his heart, but Sora didn't mind. They were only scars.

XXX

“Scars are not injuries. A scar is a healing. After injury, a scar is what makes you whole.” ― China Miéville

Questions, comments, concerns?


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